by Jason Whitlock

We, the media, focused on the embattled coach's scolding of the media, silly advice to loyal Louisville fans to turn the channel and ridiculous, shameless use of Ted Kennedy's death to divert attention.

We, the media, think Slick Rick made a mistake by responding to Karen Sypher's debunked rape allegations that were aired on a Louisville TV and radio station. We, the media, think Trick Rick sprayed gas on a fire that was nearly extinguished.

We, the media, don't know what we're talking about. Despite Pimpino opening his press conference declaring his intentions and the audience he would attempt to sway, we missed the utter brilliance of his performance.

"I'm a little upset," Pitino began. "This is a day I went home to comfort my wife, who obviously, as you would imagine, the last seven months would be having a very difficult time, as her husband was blackmailed during the tournament and extorted for millions of dollars. From that point on, all she's read is all these false allegations."

Hello. Pitino is trying to save his marriage.

When his six-minute rant concluded, tears trickled down my cheeks, I rose from my seat and found myself clapping my hands and mouthing the words, "Play on, playa. Play on" and wanting to listen to Johnnie Taylor's classic "Cheaper To Keep Her."

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You didn't pay but two dollars to bring the little girl home
Now you're about to pay two thousand to leave her alone
You see another woman out there and you want to make a change
She ain't gonna want you 'cause you won't have a damn thing

That's why it's cheaper to keep her (Everybody sing along with me)
It's cheaper to keep her (it's cheaper to keep her)
By the time you get through lookin' that judge in the face
You're gonna want to cuss the whole human race

Pitino knows no one believes Sypher's rape claims. He knows most people believe Sypher is bat-spit crazy. He didn't need to remind us that Sypher is the alleged criminal. He also knew that we would reject and lampoon his preachy tone and message.

"On a day where Ted Kennedy died," Pitino preached, "we broke in the news here in Louisville with Karen Sypher audio and tapes to the detective when it's already been put out (in the media). That's a pretty sad commentary on us."

Pimpino wants to be a victim. He wants the media to crucify him. He wants sympathy from his wife and kids. He's copped to his "indiscretion," begged forgiveness for his restaurant table-top dance and likely agreed to be spayed and neutered.

But forgiveness is never enough. How do you make them forget, especially when the television networks, radio talk shows, newspapers and blogs can toss out a reminder at any moment?

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Spouses, particularly wealthy ones, survive extracurricular activity all the time. They suffer the indignity in private or with a close friend or two. It's tough going to basketball games, dinners, charity events, the grocery store, dentist appointments and wondering if the people close to you are gossiping about your husband's one-night stand at Olive Oil's Garden.

"It's been pure hell for (my wife) and family," Pitino said.

Pitino is trying to create his own hell hole and a new set of bad guys.

The problem is, the media, as far as we know, didn't roll around with Karen Sypher, get her pregnant, finance her insurance premium (abortion) and employ her soon-to-be husband. We reported and commented on those facts.

"Everything that's been printed, everything that's been reported, everything that's been breaking in the news on the day Ted Kennedy died is 100 percent a lie, a lie," Pitino claimed. "All of this has been a lie, a total fabrication of the truth."

That's straight pimp spit right there.

When a playa gets busted, he/she changes the discussion from what he did wrong to something someone else did wrong and is more than likely untrue or exaggerated. A playa creates a false reality and then expects you to hold a debate about the lie he just concocted.

Pimpino spent Wednesday night at home debating the irresponsible media rather than his irresponsibility.

I spent Wednesday listening to Johnnie Taylor. I suspect Pitino might be listening to my favorite rapper, Tech N9ne's anthem "I'm a Playa."

You can e-mail Jason at BallState0@aol.com or find him on Facebook at facebook.com/jasonwhitlock.