by MIKE HART, Staff, Packer Plus , Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

These weren't your father's college kids. There were lots and lots of big guys sporting three-piece suits. The only things missing were Donna Versace, Joan Rivers and a red carpet.

And there was bling. Lots and lots of bling.

Guys with shiny earrings. And big 'ol watches. And bigger 'ol bracelets.

What in the world has Mel Kiper Jr. gotten us into?

On the surface, it appears that these young men are making more than the current CEO of General Motors. And in a couple of months, they probably will be.

So it was rather comforting when Green Bay got on the clock and all eyes were on B.J. Raji. Give the kid credit. He looked like a kid.

Raji had a common college-kid pose, too. He was on the couch.

There he was, in all his glory, clad in a yellow T-shirt and sweatpants. He was a pizza and kegger party waiting to happen. This young man is made for Green Bay.

Give him an A for style points.

Speaking of grades, the pundits race to grade each team's selections immediately following every NFL draft. These grades are yet another thing that makes absolutely no sense.

This ranks right up there with fake NCAA tournament brackets, the Bowl Championship Series and Mel's Big Board. Teams are getting graded on their picks before they've handed out official team jock straps to their new guys. And it might take until the second organized team activity for the Packers to find a jock strap big enough for Raji.

Be that as it may, the grades started pouring in. As expected, Mel wasted little time weighing in. Boy, you'd think the guy would want to come up for some air first after the 15-hour, 15-minute marathon.

Professor Mel gave the Packers an A. He didn't give any other team an A. Wow, what a weekend for Ted Thompson. First he gets cheered at the team's draft shindig and now this. Now he might be able to speak at a local kindergarten and not get pelted with crayons.

Unfortunately for Thompson, esteemed Professor Rick Gosselin of the Dallas Morning News didn't see hairstrand-to-hairstrand with Mighty Mel.

The Packers, according to Gosselin, were only average. That's right. Just a C. He gave the Bears a C, too. And they slept in on the first day of the draft.

Sleeping in is probably as radical as Lovie Smith got in college. You just don't picture him hanging out at the Delta House wearing a toga.

One dean of draft graders, Fox Sports' John Czarnecki, who has covered the NFL for 30 years, gave the Packers a C. There goes Thompson's ticker-tape parade.

Now, Czarnecki says the Raiders get a C-minus. So did Al Davis copy off Thompson's paper, or vice versa?

Draft grademeister Ira Kaufman of the Tampa Tribune called it a "heck of a weekend for the Packers." What? Did they lower beer prices at Lambeau Field, too? Nah. Maybe that's why he only gave the Pack a B.

Gregg Rosenthal and Evan Silva of Rotoworld.com turned in the grades for MSNBC.com. The Packers bring home a B-minus. This means Thompson won't have to get the mail every day to hide his marks from the heads of the household.

Thompson did come under scrutiny here for picking fullback Quinn Johnson when they already have Korey Hall and John Kuhn. That's like saying, "Why pick Eric Torkelson when you've got Barty Smith?"

Boy, these grades are all across the board.

At this point, the New York Times will cast the deciding vote. Surely Jayson Blair has covered a draft or two in his day.

Upon further review, they only list winners and losers. The Packers don't qualify as either.

So they must be middle-of-the-road.

Hmmm. Did anyone related to Perry Como grade the draft?

The Energizer Kiper

Before he finally took the knee on Draft 2009, the peppy Kiper once again decided to boldly go where no man has gone before.

The breathless Kiper pointed out that he had predicted Georgia quarterback Matthew Stafford would be a No. 1 draft pick some day. Sure enough, that day came on Saturday.

So, in wake of that triumph, Kiper blurted out, "I'm going on record now to say . . . three years, Matt Barkley - who will be a true freshman this year - will be the No. 1 pick in the draft. Three years from now."

While Mel was waxing about Matt Barkley, the USC quarterback was coming off the bench to toss two picks in the Trojans' spring game.

Remember, this is the same Mel Kiper Jr. who had TCU's LaDainian Tomlinson tied for the 25th-best player in the 2001 draft, and only the third-best running back that year, behind Mississippi's Deuce McAllister and Wisconsin's Michael Bennett.

And the same Mel Kiper Jr. who had Dan McGwire and Brett Favre rated even heading into the 1991 draft.

Oh well. You can't win 'em all.

A relevant matter

The draft closed with yet another dramatic finish.

Viewers were on the edge of their seats wondering who would be the last guy picked. After all, the final pick carries the honor and distinction of being "Mr. Irrelevant."

After several anxious moments, South Carolina kicker Ryan Succop was chosen with the 256th and last selection by the Kansas City Chiefs.

Succop will receive the prestigious Lowsman Trophy on June 23 in Newport Beach, Calif. This trophy looks like the Heisman Trophy except the player is dropping the ball.

"I don't really mind it. I don't plan on being irrelevant," Succop said. "I've been very blessed, and I plan on making an impact right away. I've been blessed with the ability to do it, and I'm looking forward to doing it."

Succop made 20 field goals in 30 attempts last season, scoring 90 points. His longest kick was a 54-yarder.

John Worely, Succop's high school coach in Hickory, N.C., managed to put it all into perspective.

"He's the 256th best football player in the United States of America," said Worley.

VineLines

Greg Cote of the Miami Herald on the Detroit Lions: "The team planned to make Georgia quarterback Matthew Stafford the No. 1 overall selection, but because of a miscommunication ended up inadvertently drafting Jim Stafford, the guy who sang 'Spiders and Snakes' and 'My Girl Bill' in the mid-1970s. On the bright side, Mel Kiper Jr. liked the pick. 'I had Jim Stafford as the draft's best available novelty singer,' Kiper said." . . .

Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle: "The mock draft season ended Saturday morning and you have a hollow, hung-over feeling. I'm fried. All I can do is kneel at my home mock-draft shrine and nod along with the Mel Kiper Jr. bobblehair doll." . . .

Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press: "C'mon, lighten up with all the booing at Radio City Music Hall when Stafford's selection was announced. Couldn't somebody at least have tossed an octopus?" . . .

Mike Mayock of the NFL Network on Penn State receiver Derrick Williams, a Lions third-round pick: "I watched him catch punts one day (at the Senior Bowl) - and this is supposed to be an elite punt returner - and that day if the football had been a harpoon, he'd have been dead. It'd have pierced his chest." . . .

Mark Kriegel of Fox Sports.com: "You ever get the feeling that Somali pirates plan better than the Lions on draft day?" . . .

Deadspin.com headline: "Your 2009 Detroit Lions Are Matthew Stafford and 10 Other Guys."

Seattle's top draft pick, Aaron Curry, on how he entered Wake Forest weighing 195 pounds and left weighing 254: "Countless hours in the weight room . . . countless hours in the cafeteria."

From Packer Plus wire, Internet reports and other news sources. Send e-mail to mhart@journalsentinel.com

Copyright 2009, Journal Sentinel Inc. All rights reserved. (Note: This notice does not apply to those news items already copyrighted and received through wire services or other media.)

Copyright 2009 Journal Sentinel Inc.
	Terms & Conditions     Privacy Copyright © 2009 LexisNexis, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.