All That and a Bag of Mail: Men Peeing in the Shower Edition
All That and a Bag of Mail: Men Peeing in the Shower Edition
All That and a Bag of Mai...

All That and a Bag of Mail: Men Peeing in the Shower Edition

Kentucky Fan Gets Asked to Prom Via Jersey
Kentucky Fan Gets Asked to Prom Via Jersey
Kentucky Fan Gets Asked t...

Kentucky Fan Gets Asked to Prom Via Jersey

A GLOSSARY FOR THE NFL DRAFT
A GLOSSARY FOR THE NFL DRAFT
A GLOSSARY FOR THE NFL DR...

A GLOSSARY FOR THE NFL DRAFT

Should Tallahassee Police Get a National Title Ring?
Should Tallahassee Police Get a National Title Ring?
Should Tallahassee Police...

Should Tallahassee Police Get a National Title Ring?

Johnny Manziel Introduces New Lady Friend At Rangers Game
Johnny Manziel Introduces New Lady Friend At Rangers Game
Johnny Manziel Introduces...

Johnny Manziel Introduces New Lady Friend At Rangers Game

Featured Story

Okay, it's mailbag time.

I'm presently writing this in a Los Angeles hotel room with virtually no voice. All my life I've been afraid I'd lose my voice and it never happened. Until now. Last night on television with Petros, I got crushed in our great debate because I couldn't speak loud enough. Right now I'm in the throes of the worst cold ever. (By the way, no one talks about this, but one of the worst things about being a parent of young kids is that one of your kids always has a cold. I mean, always. If your family is big enough then you can pass the entire cold through your family and then repass it back through two weeks later. This is infuriating.)

Michael H. sends us this picture of a Bama fan with magnets on his truck:

"Thought you would enjoy this photo I took in front of an Alabama McDonalds this morning. I think what I love most is that the two magnets don't quite match - meaning they were definitely purchased at separate times. This guy was so happy with the first magnet that he had to go out and get a second one made for child #2. The handy plates are a nice touch too.

May Bama and Kentucky fans never change."

Our beaver pelt trader of the week is Gabriel Garcia Marquez, who wrote this first sentence, which I think is the best in the history of novels, in "One Hundred Years of Solitude:" “Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice.”

I mean, that's just f-ing amazing.

The entire book is just as good.

I've always been a big reader -- you think I got this good at dick jokes by accident? -- and back when I was a kid I was told if you like one book an author writes then go back and read everything he's ever written in the order he wrote it. Here would be my all-time top five favorite writers: 1. William Faulkner 2. Cormac McCarthy 3. Gabriel Garcia-Marquez 4. Franklin W. Dixon (I know this was a syndicate of dozens of writers, but I loved the Hardy Boys when I was a kid. Don't even get me started on the tears I shed when Iola Morton got blown up). 5. Ernest Hemingway

Okay, on to the mailbag.  

Latest Articles

As Cuonzo Martin weighs an offer to become Marquette's next coach, Tennessee has an interesting decision to make, should they match whatever Marquette is offering or take Martin's buyout and go hire a new coach? Right now Martin makes $1.3 million a year and has two years remaining on his Tennessee contract. Tomorrow Martin's buyout drops from $2.6 million to $1.3 million. If Martin leaves, it would probably be announced tomorrow because that saves Marquette over a million dollars in buyout money.

So what's Cuonzo worth on the open market? You have to assume that Marquette is willing to offer him around $2 million a year. Reports are that Marquette was paying Buzz Williams $2.8 million a year, but Williams was willing to take half a million less a year to leave for Virginia Tech. Why? Because he wasn't that excited about the future of the newly revamped Big East, a league that has much more in common with the Atlantic 10 than it does the ACC.

So if Cuonzo's got an offer of around $2 million a year from Marquette, should Tennessee match it? Or should the Vols take the $1.3 million buyout and go try and hire someone else?

Pretend you're athletic director Dave Hart and faced with this decision. What would you do?

Kentucky Fan Exults Over Michigan Win

Written by: Clay Travis

Kentucky fans are the second dumbest fans in the country.

You can argue with this fact, but you'll be wrong. 

It's Outkick the Coverage science. 

Which brings us to Kentucky fans celebrating their team advancing to the Final Four. After a season of morose disdain for their beloved C-A-T-S, Kentucky fans have crawled out of the hills and hollers and put on their fancy pajama pants and laid back in their recliners and now they want you to, "Get some!," for ever having the audacity to doubt their beloved Wildcats. 

Watch this video. 

I'm writing the mailbag just after returning from Johnny Manziel's pro day. In a few hours I'll be heading out to the Dixie Chicken where we'll be doing FSLive in front of hundreds of drunk college kids. I'm sure this will come off perfectly. I'm writing on Thursday because I fly out of Houston tomorrow morning and don't trust my Southwest flight to have wifi. I can't miss two mailbags in a row. How would most of you go on with your lives if this happened?

Our beaver pelt trader of the week is Johnny Manziel, for putting on an entertaining pro day. 

Since the Sweet 16 games start tonight and I've given you my picks on the first 49 games, here are my picks for today and tomorrow's games:

Florida -4.5 vs. UCLA

Dayton +3 vs. Stanford

Wisconsin -3.5 vs. Baylor

San Diego State +8 vs. Arizona

Iowa State -1.5 vs. UConn

Michigan State -2 vs. Virginia

Tennessee +2.5 vs. Michigan

Kentucky +4.5 vs. Louisville

On to the mailbag. 

The NCAA Is a Dead Man Walking

Written by: Clay Travis

Update: why fight the ruling? If Northwestern was smart, they'd simply negotiate a deal and pay their players.

The NCAA is a dead man walking.

We can debate when exactly the NCAA as it's presently constructed will give up the ghost, but the organization that has spent our lives arguing that athletes are students engaged in amateur competitions, is finished. Today came the latest nail to be driven into the NCAA's amateurism coffin, the National Labor Relations Board (NLRB) determined that Northwestern football players were employees of the university, hence eligible to register as a union.  While the Northwestern players say their immediate goal isn't to push for payment, that's coming. After all, how many employees in America work for less than their maximum union market value?

The NLRB's regional director determined that, contrary to the arguments of the university, Northwestern football players were employees. The NLRB decision was four-fold finding that Northwestern's football players were not primarily students, their labors as football players did not connect to their studies, academic faculty didn't sponsor athletic endeavors, and that their scholarship were for football not academics. 

As a result Northwestern football players were employees, not student-athletes. 

By Joshua Parcell

Dictionary.com defines “rivalry” like this: “The action, position, or relation of a rival or rivals; competition: rivalry between Yale and Harvard.” Really? Yale and Harvard? That’s who we’re going with? Don’t get me wrong, I can appreciate any time two teams face off whose players' SAT scores are nearly as high as the number of people at the game, but when you look up “rivalry” in the dictionary, the Iron Bowl belongs right beside it. Or does it?

The ACC and Maryland's Lawsuit Is Getting Nasty

Written by: Clay Travis

The University of Maryland officially joins the Big Ten at the end of June, but the Terrapins stormy divorce from the ACC has the potential to be really entertaining for those of us who paid scads of attention to realignment and felt as if only part of the story trickled out. It's no coincidence that potential lawsuits involving Big 12 and Big East schools all died on the vine and ended in quiet out-of-court exit fee settlements. When it comes to realignment there are very few clean hands. 

The result?

Everyone settles. 

Only one lawsuit is currently pending. 

But, man oh man, is it a doozy.  

Betting 49 NCAA Tourney Games I finished 29-19-1

Written by: Clay Travis

After a full week in Vegas, I can barely keep my eyes open this morning to write.

Which means I'm probably going to give myself a day to decompress and wake back up. But it's important to note that despite placing 49 bets -- all 32 first round games and all 16 second round games, plus the UT vs. Iowa play-in -- that I finished 29-19-1 against the spread. That includes three devastating betting defeats -- N.C. State +2.5 gives up a 16 point lead late in regulation and then loses and fails to cover in overtime, St. Joe's collapsed against UConn down the stretch, despite leading throughout and not just lost, but failed to cover the +4.5 line in overtime, and my own alma mater, George Washington, fouled with .4 seconds left after missing a game-tying three, to allow Memphis to hit two free throws and cover. 

Those bad beats were balanced out, however, on Saturday when Wisconsin got four free throws with .4 seconds remaining to cover against Oregon and when Harvard hit a lay-up with under five seconds left and then refrained from fouling Michigan State to cover by .5. 

The end results pretty much evened out, as I finished with over 60% of my picks correct despite betting 49 tournament games. 

Here were my results by day:

Wednesday: 1-0

Thursday: 7-8-1

Friday: 10-6

Saturday: 6-2

Sunday: 5-3

I survived the first round of the NCAA tournament, betting $100 on all 32 NCAA tourney games, as well as a thousand dollars on Tennessee's play-in game against Iowa. The end result? I went 18-14-1 overall, a .5625 win percentage.

Vegas hasn't beaten me yet, although I am currently pretty hungover as I type this.

So with over half of the bets placed so far, what do my final sixteen picks look like?

Here we go: 

Florida -5.5 vs. Pittsburgh

Saint Louis +10 vs. Louisville

Harvard +7.5 vs. Michigan State

San Diego State -4.5 vs. North Dakota State

 

We are less than five months from the launch of the SEC Network and so far DirecTV, Comcast and Time Warner haven't yet reached an agreement to carry the network. Neither has a cable company called Cable One, which evidently services the south Mississippi market.

Well, politicians have taken note of the looming disaster there. And Gulfport, Mississippi is not taking it any more. 

So the Gulfport city council passed a resolution demanding that Cable One carry the SEC Network.

"Whereas football is akin to religion in the South, Saturday is a holy day of sorts because of college football and Gulfport has its share of rabid fans.

Therefore, Cable One should offer viewers the new SEC network in August, the City Council has decreed."

It passed unanimously. 

Yes, this really happened.  

Friday's Picks For the 2014 NCAA Tourney

Written by: Clay Travis

Yesterday I went 7-8-1 on my sixteen picks, with two incredibly crushing losses -- St. Joe's +4.5 vs. Connecticut and N.C. State +2.5 vs. St. Louis. Both of these teams led throughout the entire game, covering was a breeze. Until, that is, overtime arrived and they both somehow managed to choke away not just the lead but their covers as well. Win those two games -- and I'll be honest, I was already counting them both as wins, especially N.C. State, which was up 16 late in the game -- and I would have finished off the first day 9-6-1.

Sigh. 

But we fight on. 

So here are today's best picks. We begin with mine and Todd's best five picks from FS1 last night.    

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