All That and a Bag of Mail: Men Peeing in the Shower Edition
All That and a Bag of Mail: Men Peeing in the Shower Edition
All That and a Bag of Mai...

All That and a Bag of Mail: Men Peeing in the Shower Edition

Kentucky Fan Gets Asked to Prom Via Jersey
Kentucky Fan Gets Asked to Prom Via Jersey
Kentucky Fan Gets Asked t...

Kentucky Fan Gets Asked to Prom Via Jersey

A GLOSSARY FOR THE NFL DRAFT
A GLOSSARY FOR THE NFL DRAFT
A GLOSSARY FOR THE NFL DR...

A GLOSSARY FOR THE NFL DRAFT

Should Tallahassee Police Get a National Title Ring?
Should Tallahassee Police Get a National Title Ring?
Should Tallahassee Police...

Should Tallahassee Police Get a National Title Ring?

Johnny Manziel Introduces New Lady Friend At Rangers Game
Johnny Manziel Introduces New Lady Friend At Rangers Game
Johnny Manziel Introduces...

Johnny Manziel Introduces New Lady Friend At Rangers Game

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Okay, it's mailbag time.

I'm presently writing this in a Los Angeles hotel room with virtually no voice. All my life I've been afraid I'd lose my voice and it never happened. Until now. Last night on television with Petros, I got crushed in our great debate because I couldn't speak loud enough. Right now I'm in the throes of the worst cold ever. (By the way, no one talks about this, but one of the worst things about being a parent of young kids is that one of your kids always has a cold. I mean, always. If your family is big enough then you can pass the entire cold through your family and then repass it back through two weeks later. This is infuriating.)

Michael H. sends us this picture of a Bama fan with magnets on his truck:

"Thought you would enjoy this photo I took in front of an Alabama McDonalds this morning. I think what I love most is that the two magnets don't quite match - meaning they were definitely purchased at separate times. This guy was so happy with the first magnet that he had to go out and get a second one made for child #2. The handy plates are a nice touch too.

May Bama and Kentucky fans never change."

Our beaver pelt trader of the week is Gabriel Garcia Marquez, who wrote this first sentence, which I think is the best in the history of novels, in "One Hundred Years of Solitude:" “Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice.”

I mean, that's just f-ing amazing.

The entire book is just as good.

I've always been a big reader -- you think I got this good at dick jokes by accident? -- and back when I was a kid I was told if you like one book an author writes then go back and read everything he's ever written in the order he wrote it. Here would be my all-time top five favorite writers: 1. William Faulkner 2. Cormac McCarthy 3. Gabriel Garcia-Marquez 4. Franklin W. Dixon (I know this was a syndicate of dozens of writers, but I loved the Hardy Boys when I was a kid. Don't even get me started on the tears I shed when Iola Morton got blown up). 5. Ernest Hemingway

Okay, on to the mailbag.  

Latest Articles

The Four Star, the Porn Star and Me

Written by: Clay Travis

Yesterday Outkick the Coverage brought you the touching story of Elisha Shaw, the four star defensive tackle recruit who Tweeted out that he wanted a fifth star. 

The only catch?

His screen grab revealed that he was watching porn star Isis Taylor in another screen. 

Last night Isis Taylor, a big USC Trojan fan as you can see, retweeted Outkick's story. 

I shot her a message that said, "I think you could get him to SC. Y'all need help in the trenches."

Player Requests Fifth Star, Loves Porn

Written by: Clay Travis

Getting a fifth star is incredibly competitive. You have to put up big stats, have all the measurables, flaunt your offers, do whatever it takes to get that fifth star. 

Including, sometimes, emailing or Tweeting the rating services themselves and personally making your case for that fifth star. 

Which brings us to 6'5" 295 pound defensive tackle Elisha Shaw. Both Rivals and 247 Sports have him ranked as a four star, just on the outskirts of receiving his fifth star. Rivals has him as the 39th best player in the 2014 class, with offers from Alabama, Florida State, Texas, and Georgia, among others.

247 Sports has him as the 42nd best player in the country. 

So he's really close to that tantalizing fifth star on both major recruiting services. 

Yesterday as part of the most visited day in Outkick the Coverage history, we brought you the story of the Steeplechase catfight. 

Then we followed up with a director's cut piece, which provided the definitive view of the entire melee.

Shortly after we posted the definitive version of the catfight, who reached out and contacted OKTC?

The girl in the pink dress.

She wanted to tell her side of the story.  

Steeplechase CatFight: Director's Cut

Written by: Clay Travis

 Earlier today Outkick the Coverage brought you the Steeplechase catfight

Almost immediately, our servers buckled as you all rushed to view the video.

Since then y'all have inundated my Twitter feed with commentary. I don't remember the last time I laughed this much at your Tweets. Slowly, like a modern day version of the Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew put together, we've all put on our thinking caps to decipher this caper.  

First we found out that Vanderbilt center Joe Townsend, the heretofore anonymous man carrying a football as he broke up a catfight, was a hero. That's him pictured above via a Tweet sent to me from teammate Walker May -- "The catfight hero himself. Honored to be in his presence today."

Later we found out that a spontaneous USA chant had broken out, and that there appeared to a mysterious filmer who never moved as he leaned up against a truck in rolled up khakis boat shoes, the Steeplechase catfight's own mysterious grassy knoll.

Well, a few minutes ago the grassy knoller/truck leaner emailed.  

"Despite your observation I was quite comfortable posted up like captain Morgan on the truck," he wrote. 

Nashville's Iroquois Steeplechase: CatFight!

Written by: Clay Travis

Nashville's Iroquois Steeplechase is typically a pretty high-end affair. Women wear sundresses, men wear pastels, all of the proceeds from the city's largest horse race of the year benefit the Vanderbilt Children's Hospital, and everyone drinks heavily and has a great time. 

Honestly, it's a lot like an SEC football spring game, with every fan base represented among the 30,000 or so attendees. Buddies from Kentucky have described Steeplechase as like the Kentucky Derby, but without all the trashy people.

So you know what happened on Saturday near the end of the day's party on the infield, don't you?

Yep, catfight!

Today is Southern girls behaving badly day on OKTC. 

Let's go to the video.  

Ah, the University of Tennessee, where ridiculous happens.

The latest absurdity?

University officials are conducting an investigation to determine whether a former head of student judicial services, Jenny Wright, a graduate of both the undergrad and the law school at Tennessee, had multiple inappropriate relationships with some of the student-athletes she was charged with judging. According to the Twitter account of Knoxville radio host Jimmy Hyams recently departed Vol point guard Trae Golden, whose mysterious dismissal purportedly involved academic issues, is among those players involved in the investigation. 

News broke today that Wright had been fired as a result of her failure to cooperate with an independent investigation into whether she had inappropriate relationships with athletes. Wright, who attempted to resign from her position but was fired from her $70,000 a year job instead, has hired an attorney who categorically denied that she had done anything improper.

In the meantime, Tennessee has already removed her name from the Student Judicial Affairs website, listing her position as vacant.

Wright quickly scrubbed her Facebook and Twitter accounts, but she was not able to erase this repository of her Twitter account you can find here.

The account contains fifteen photos and many recent Tweets. 

In the bio section of the account Wright described herself thusly, "Three-time alumna and proud employee of the University of Tennessee...All Vol!!!"

She also listed a husband on the account, but reports are that Wright was recently divorced.  

Football is only a few months away and Cantor Gaming has released their NFL regular season win totals; your complete list.

It's Friday, you're not working and eagerly awaiting the mailbag.

So let's get rolling.

Yet again, y'all have killed it.

This week there's no suspense, the beaver pelt trader of the week is Cleveland hero Charles Ramsey.

It's a dead giveaway.

Now let's dive into the mailbag.

Graham A. writes:

"This year's Kentucky Derby got me thinking... Yes, if your horse wins, the payout is awesome. However the big money is made after the fact. Dan Patrick interviewed Dan Oneil (trainer for I'll Have Another). Oneil said the stag/mate fee with his horse is $40k for one hit. So I ask why not farm out athlete sperm? Lebron, Kobe, Phelps, Brady? You think there would be suitors?"

By Craig Hayes

The first time I heard of Clay Travis was when I picked up a copy of Dixieland Delight at a local bookstore a few years ago. At the risk of being accused of shamelessly kissing up to the editor of this site, I loved the book and truly envied the fact that he was able to take a road trip throughout the entirety of the SEC.

I once dated a guy named Ted*. [Names changed to protect the innocent. For some reason, the only fake male names I could think of were Marshall and Ted. I really need to broaden my fake male name repertoire for the next column I write that may air any past dating grievances. My reputation is on the line here, and dating a guy named "Ted" does not help my case.]

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