Should Tallahassee Police Get a National Title Ring?
Should Tallahassee Police Get a National Title Ring?
Should Tallahassee Police...

Should Tallahassee Police Get a National Title Ring?

Johnny Manziel Introduces New Lady Friend At Rangers Game
Johnny Manziel Introduces New Lady Friend At Rangers Game
Johnny Manziel Introduces...

Johnny Manziel Introduces New Lady Friend At Rangers Game

Cuonzo Is Gonzo: So Who's Next for the Vols?
Cuonzo Is Gonzo: So Who's Next for the Vols?
Cuonzo Is Gonzo: So Who's...

Cuonzo Is Gonzo: So Who's Next for the Vols?

WWE Raw Came To Birmingham, Bama Fans Were Pleased
WWE Raw Came To Birmingham, Bama Fans Were Pleased
WWE Raw Came To Birmingha...

WWE Raw Came To Birmingham, Bama Fans Were Pleased

Nick Saban Met the Alabama Gymnastics Team
Nick Saban Met the Alabama Gymnastics Team
Nick Saban Met the Alabam...

Nick Saban Met the Alabama Gymnastics Team

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Oh, boy, The New York Times just released a major piece this morning examining the Jameis Winston "investigation" that tells us what we already knew -- the Tallahassee police department completely and totally bungled its investigation into Winston's case. You need to read the story for yourself, but I want to dive into the details a bit more here because there's so much here that it's difficult to break it all down.

So, first, read the story. 

Now, let's examine the four biggest aspects of the New York Times story:

1. THERE WAS A VIDEO OF THE ALLEGED SEXUAL ASSAULT. 

The video was taken on the night in question and was later deleted by Florida State player Chris Casher. 

Let's start here, if the video was of a consensual sexual act, why would you delete it? Also, when did you delete it? Why did you decide to delete it? Did you share it with anyone prior to deleting the video? We don't know because police never reviewed the text messages of Winston and his roommates.  

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Bret Bielema Is the new Lane Kiffin

Written by: Clay Travis

Bret Bielema at Arkansas is like Lane Kiffin at Tennessee, except without the wins.

Bielema's a disaster, the latest Lane Kiffin to join the SEC. You remember Kiffin's short-lived tenure at Tennessee, right? How he blew into town from a different geographic region convinced that he was going to dominate the SEC. With his hot blonde wife in tow, Kiffin embarked on a series of ill-fated public comments, brought the NCAA to Knoxville for an investigation that somehow ended up costing Bruce Pearl his job, stumbled through to a 7-6 first season record, and then blew out of town for the job at USC just a couple of weeks before signing day.

Along the way it became clear that Kiffin had no idea about Tennessee or its job, basing most of his decision to accept the job on recruiting questionnaires he had sent out that revealed Tennessee to be one of the best known programs in the country. Upon his arrival in Knoxville Kiffin found out that -- sakes alive -- Vol fans actually wanted to meet the head coach when he went out to dinner and that it was cold in the winter, two things that he'd had no idea about prior to accepting the job. He was like a tourist from California who showed up at the Smoky Mountains and couldn't leave. Boy, they really like country music here, huh?

The best story that sums up Lane Kiffin's tenure at Tennessee? He got lost on a gameday jog in Knoxville.

Now let's compare Kiffin with Bret Bielema, who blew into Fayetteville with a hot blonde wife and immediately compared his Big Ten coaching record, in a favorable manner, to Nick Saban's. Then he proceeded to go 0-8 in the SEC, putting him just two losses away from Nick Saban's total SEC losses in seven years. After running off three straight wins his wife Tweeted #karma and Bielema's Razorback team has not won since. While every other first year SEC coach racked up sterling recruiting classes, Bielema signed the SEC's 11th best class. Then, not content with a winless fall and an awful recruiting class in the nation's most competitive conference, Bielema embarked on a tour de force performance in stupidity by arguing that he opposed hurry up no huddle offenses because of "death certificates," and "sickle cell disease."

Vegas Bracketology 5.0.14

Written by: Todd Fuhrman

March is when Cinderellas are born. We all know the stories about the Butler’s, George Mason’s, and VCU’s of the world getting hot at just the right time in their quest to string together 6 straight wins and cut down the nets.  In Vegas, we don’t get caught up in all that nostalgia because it doesn't help cash tickets.  More often than not we burst bubbles, relishing the opportunity to provide the truth behind talent evaluations.  This is our field, the best 68 teams in the land seeded by the power potential they possess rather than grading them on a non-conference resume building win back in November when college football fans still thought Alabama would win another national title.  Time changes all...

Look, it's Monday, and while everyone else is on spring break, you're at work. 

This means you're not on the same cruise as Blake Bortles's girlfriend, Lindsey Duke, and Matthew Stafford's girlfriend, Kelly Hall. 

Look, I could pretend there's some real story here, but when two number one overall draft picks at quarterback's girlfriends -- maybe, it looks like the Texans are taking Bortles -- miraculously meet on a cruise ship for the first time while both are wearing bikinis, why mess with destiny? And then, as if that wasn't enough, Kelly Hall, Stafford's girlfriend, immediately posts the pic on Instagram and adds this sweet message: "Got to meet a new friend on the cruise..Wishing her and her man all the luck in the upcoming draft!" 

It's basically a sign from God that He loves Outkick.

And that he doesn't want me to work that hard today. 

Not to be outdone, Stafford's girlfriend also got creative and made the picture of just the two of them black and white because she wanted to evoke the timeless moment of their initial meeting, which, I'm going to be honest, is kind of like when Elvis met Muhammad Ali. If, you know, Nixon and Elvis had been been hot coeds in bikinis on a cruise ship during spring break when they met for the first time.  

True Detective Finale Breaks HBO, Clears My House

Written by: Clay Travis

Last night we had six friends over to watch the "True Detective," finale.

At 6:45, over an hour before the finale was set to air, my wife asked me to ensure that True Detective was set to record on our DVR. Because, after all, if you have people over to your house to watch a show, the worst thing you could possibly do is not have the show ready for them to watch. I checked, it was set to record. At the same time my six year old brought down a book about the planets and started asking me questions about space. There is nothing like a six year old asking you questions about space to make you realize how dumb you are about space. 

So he starts by asking me what's the farthest planet from the sun and I say Pluto. 

And he says, "That's not right, daddy."

Then he opens up his book and flips to the section on our solar system and I'll be damned, there's a new planet in our solar system called Eris, which is farther from the sun than Pluto. When the hell did this happen? We're just adding planets willy nilly now? Is Jupiter still a thing, does Saturn still have rings? Worse than that, there's a split in scientific authority about whether Pluto is a planet or not. Half of the science books consider Pluto to be a planet and the other half don't. There's a split of scientific opinion on Pluto! How am I supposed to answer my kid's questions about space when scientists can't even agree on how many planets there actually are in our solar system?  

What other knowledge am I missing? Have they found life on other planets too?

This is my problem with science, we don't know anything. And we think we do and we teach a bunch of idiots like me things and I believe it all -- remember when dinosaurs used to be ancestral reptiles until they descended and became birds? Is that still true too? ARE DINOSAURS STILL BIRDS OR HAVE I BEEN WRONG ABOUT THIS TOO?

I don't even want to answer my kid's science questions now because I'm already like the old dad who still believes in treating fevers with leeches. (Remember there was always one kid at school with the old dad who told his kid all the wrong information. That kid was screwed.)

By Mike Dorr   Fox Sports One has recently added horse racing to its programming lineup, covering the top races in the US not associated with the Triple Crown. Their debut in February was widely seen by racing fans as a great start, catering to serious fans and newcomers alike. Horse racing can be a bit inscrutable to those not familiar with it. I actually think this is especially true in the south; live horse racing (with gambling) only occurs in states on the periphery of SEC country. (Texas, Louisiana, Missouri, Kentucky, and southern Florida all have racing. Tennessee, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia and South Carolina do not.) College football is king, but horse racing remains a sport worth following. After all, this Saturday marks six months to the start of the football season.

Time to stop pretending you're working and dive into the mailbag.

Our beaver pelt trader of the week is Tim Francis, who Tweets me this, "Mailbag...I am at the hospital, my wife is in labor with our son. How much would you pay us to name him Clay Travis?"

I Tweeted him back that I would pay him $1,000. 

That's a decent start on the college fund, right?

For those of you who don't live in Nashville, you're missing out. Time Magazine calls us the hottest city in the country.

Okay, okay on to the mailbag. 

DirecTV Issues Official Statement on SEC Network

Written by: Clay Travis

The SEC Network is just over five months from launch and already SEC fans are at a fever pitch over whether or not their cable or satellite providers will be carrying the channel.  

A couple of weeks ago SEC fans forwarded emails to Outkick from DirecTV in which the satellite provider said it had no plans to carry the SEC Network. That set off a social media firestorm and led to a number of customers cancelling their subscriptions. In the wake of that tempest, DirecTV said they were in negotiations with ESPN over the SEC Network. Then Dish Network, DirecTV's biggest competitor, officially announced it would be carrying the SEC Network nationwide. That increased the pressure anew, leading SEC fans to take to social media and announce they were dropping DirecTV in favor of Dish. 

Now DirecTV has issued a new statement, this time to Alabama's JOX radio station, which requested a DirecTV spokesperson come on the show to explain why they weren't carrying the SEC Network. 

DirecTV declined to appear on the show, but it issued this statement to the Jox Roundtable, the mid-day show on the station:

If there's one thing that Nick Saban has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt, it's how much he cares about the health of his players. The guy gives out medical redshirts like a grandma of fifteen gives out birthday cards. He's just so nice. In fact, Saban just might be the nicest guy in all of sports. Do any of y'all doubt that Nick Saban has the best interests of the sport in mind when he endorses new timing rules and works to ensure that they get secretly passed?

I mean, do y'all really think Nick Saban would do anything to get an advantage for his own team while simultaneously hurting another team that he's playing against?

Of course not!

Yesterday Saban compared football concussions to smoking cigarettes. I say bravo to Nick Saban for connecting two completely unconnected things. Without Nick Saban standing steadfastly on the front lines of college football health, we were clearly heading towards an era where players smoked while playing football. Plainly, that's dangerous. Especially with sickle cell and HIV and syphilis to consider. Otherwise, those hurry up no huddle offenses want to trot out sickle cell syphilitic smoking HIV positive quarterbacks who they are trying to kill. AND RUN THE READ OPTION WITH THEM IN THE HOT SUN. Who's going to protect you from sickle cell syphilitic HIV positive smoking deaths on the football field?

Nick F'ing Saban, that's who. 

Thanks to Outkick's spectacular relationship with Nick Saban, we were able to obtain 14 additional rules that Nick Saban has endorsed to make college football safer. I think we would all agree that these are necessary and proper rules and that we're all very fortunate that Nick Saban has the best interests of the game in mind.  

Former Vanderbilt coach James Franklin has now been at Penn State for a couple of months.

Franklin talks about pretty much everything -- his appreciation for everyone at Vanderbilt, the challenges of Penn State, the fact that he had nothing to do with a Penn State moving truck showing up to pick up his belongings, living at the Residence Inn in Happy Valley, Penn State's upcoming trip to Ireland, our wikipedia marriage, and whether or not he'd be willing to play Vanderbilt down the road. 

Here are a few selected quotes, but I'd encourage y'all to listen to all thirty minutes. After all, it's not like you're working, right?

Franklin on attending football camp at Penn State: "My focus was to be the next Randall Cunningham," he said. "Jim Caldwell was the quarterbacks coach, and he gave me the stiff-arm. He told me I wasn't good enough, which I wasn't."

Dish Network Officially Adds SEC Network

Written by: Clay Travis

Last night news officially broke that Dish Network had agreed to carry the SEC Network. Combined with the already announced deal with AT&T Uverse, the SEC is now assured that its network will be in twenty million households for the August 14th launch. (The SEC is also launching a week earlier than earlier announced to increase the pressure on DirecTV, Comcast, Time Warner, and other smaller cable and satellite providers). You'll recall that roughly ten days ago DirecTV made the mistake of emailing SEC fans that it would not be carrying the SEC Network and immediately felt their wrath on social media after Outkick published those emails

The multi-year deal with Dish Network is big for the number of homes that will carry the network, but also for the tier on which the channel will be carried as part of the multi-year agreeement -- Dish Network's 120+ package nationwide. That's a level of nationwide distribution that neither the Pac 12 Network nor the Big Ten Network currently have. (Those networks are only available on the 200+ channel package nationwide). Being carried on the 120+ package goes a long way towards endorsing the SEC and ESPN's proposition that they see the SEC Network as a nationwide offering that should be available in 75 million homes, the same number of homes as ESPNU.

It also proves that Dish Network, the nation's third largest cable or satellite distributor after Comcast and DirecTV, believes the SEC Network will be much more in demand than the Big Ten or Pac 12's Network. In fact, Dish is so confident in the SEC's appeal that it plans to role out a specific marketing campaign encouraging SEC fans to switch cable or satellite providers to ensure they have the SEC Network by launch.  

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