All That and a Bag of Mail: Men Peeing in the Shower Edition
All That and a Bag of Mail: Men Peeing in the Shower Edition
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All That and a Bag of Mail: Men Peeing in the Shower Edition

Kentucky Fan Gets Asked to Prom Via Jersey
Kentucky Fan Gets Asked to Prom Via Jersey
Kentucky Fan Gets Asked t...

Kentucky Fan Gets Asked to Prom Via Jersey

A GLOSSARY FOR THE NFL DRAFT
A GLOSSARY FOR THE NFL DRAFT
A GLOSSARY FOR THE NFL DR...

A GLOSSARY FOR THE NFL DRAFT

Should Tallahassee Police Get a National Title Ring?
Should Tallahassee Police Get a National Title Ring?
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Should Tallahassee Police Get a National Title Ring?

Johnny Manziel Introduces New Lady Friend At Rangers Game
Johnny Manziel Introduces New Lady Friend At Rangers Game
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Johnny Manziel Introduces New Lady Friend At Rangers Game

Featured Story

Okay, it's mailbag time.

I'm presently writing this in a Los Angeles hotel room with virtually no voice. All my life I've been afraid I'd lose my voice and it never happened. Until now. Last night on television with Petros, I got crushed in our great debate because I couldn't speak loud enough. Right now I'm in the throes of the worst cold ever. (By the way, no one talks about this, but one of the worst things about being a parent of young kids is that one of your kids always has a cold. I mean, always. If your family is big enough then you can pass the entire cold through your family and then repass it back through two weeks later. This is infuriating.)

Michael H. sends us this picture of a Bama fan with magnets on his truck:

"Thought you would enjoy this photo I took in front of an Alabama McDonalds this morning. I think what I love most is that the two magnets don't quite match - meaning they were definitely purchased at separate times. This guy was so happy with the first magnet that he had to go out and get a second one made for child #2. The handy plates are a nice touch too.

May Bama and Kentucky fans never change."

Our beaver pelt trader of the week is Gabriel Garcia Marquez, who wrote this first sentence, which I think is the best in the history of novels, in "One Hundred Years of Solitude:" “Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice.”

I mean, that's just f-ing amazing.

The entire book is just as good.

I've always been a big reader -- you think I got this good at dick jokes by accident? -- and back when I was a kid I was told if you like one book an author writes then go back and read everything he's ever written in the order he wrote it. Here would be my all-time top five favorite writers: 1. William Faulkner 2. Cormac McCarthy 3. Gabriel Garcia-Marquez 4. Franklin W. Dixon (I know this was a syndicate of dozens of writers, but I loved the Hardy Boys when I was a kid. Don't even get me started on the tears I shed when Iola Morton got blown up). 5. Ernest Hemingway

Okay, on to the mailbag.  

Latest Articles

Greetings from Frankenstorm's bullseye. Don't you just love that it isn't enough for weather forecasters to try and scare the crap out of everyone once a large storm develops, but now they have to give them ominous nicknames as well? "Snowicane!!" "Frankenstorm!" Weathermen, and women, like this make me pine for the days when all they did was give the five day forecast, tell a lame joke and just turn it back over to Frank for Sports.

We've got controversy! Every installment of the BCS leaves us wanting answers as we try to make sense of the national championship picture. Kansas St looked impressive again Saturday using a dominating 3rd quarter to put away an underrated Texas Tech side. Oregon took out Colorado, showcashing their explosive offense with 8 consecutive TD drives in the first half. However, your most eye opening effort was the Golden Domers going into Norman and physically dominating Oklahoma to silence the naysayers, myself included, for another weekend.  In Vegas we have our own opinions of who the second best team in the country is and the BCS has it all wrong.

Week three of the BCS standings arrives with budding controversy, what else is new?

Alabama, Oregon, and Kansas State will all be favored to win every game remaining on their schedules and Notre Dame, fresh off an upset road win at Oklahoma, will be favored to win every remaining game with the exception of at USC.

So what happens if four teams from three major conferences and Notre Dame all finish undefeated?

Uh oh.

We don't have a playoff until the 2014 season. In the meantime complete BCS chaos can still ensue.

And what if Oregon, Kansas State, and Notre Dame all lose?

If the Florida Gators won out they'd play Alabama -- presuming the Tide rushes over LSU this weekend and the Georgia Bulldogs in the SEC title game -- despite not winning their own division.

Where have we seen that before?

Oy vey, what a mess.

As the Vols lost their 12th SEC game in the past 13 contests, Tennessee fans struggled to look for any bright spots on Twitter. Then, out of nowhere, came a Gruden sighting. Jon Gruden, the man that every Vol fan hopes will be the next UT coach, was on a flight from Houston to Phoenix.

At least according to a man with the screen name "Vol Since 72" on Volquest.

Early in the morning, Vol Since 72 posted this message on Volquest, which sort of reads like Penthouse Letters, SEC edition: "He's (Gruden's) in first class and as I walked by, I say, 'Go Vols,' he winks and says, 'How you doing?'"

He then follows it up with, "I GAVE MY ALL FOR TENNESSEE TODAY!"

We'll begin the mailbag with news of the LSU foursome's arrest for having ten bags of marijuana in an off-campus apartment. 

How did the cops bust this LSU brain trust?

First, Jordan Jefferson wasn't able to enter the apartment gate. (This suprises no one who watched Jefferson quarterback in the BCS title game). Next, Jefferson cursed at the apartment security guard, who watched which apartment Jefferson entered and called the police. Then Tyrann Mathieu answered the door when the police knocked and consented to a search of the apartment.   

Let this be a lesson to everyone who reads the mailbag today -- Never, ever consent to any police search.

Ever.

Even if you haven't done a damn thing wrong. Even if you're innocent as hell.

Don't be our anti-beaver pelt traders of the week like the Honey Badger and crew.

Okay, on to the mailbag.

But, first, yes, Jordan Jefferson really was wearing a "Chain Gang" t-shirt when he was arrested.

Stephen A. Smith, ESPN Walk Racial Fault Line

Written by: Clay Travis

This morning Stephen A. Smith was in a "First Take" debate about whether or not Kobe Bryant would play in the season opener. That's par for the first take course, a "debate" that no one really cares about and that has no lasting significance, delivered with stereo sound histrionics and Bay of Pigs level crisis threat. Ordinarily no one would have noticed. Except on this particular morning Smith dropped a "Nigga, please," to cement his point. He did not follow it up by saying, "you ain't signing no checks like these," in which case he could just claim he was quoting a popular Jay-Z song.

Later ESPN dropped the phrase from a reairing and so far the network has declined comment on the statement.

This is the second time in less than a year that ESPN has walked a major racial fault line. In February the network fired an editor after he used the headline, "Chink in the Armor," with a picture of Jeremy Lin. I argued back then that our society was too quick to assume racism and that the editor shouldn't have been fired. My point was pretty clear, do we really think that a white editor at ESPN hid his virulent anti-Asian racism solely to spring it on an overnight shift in a mobile website headline?

It's the perfect racist crime!

Of course not.

Yet the use of the language was considered inappropriate regardless of context.

Now Stephen A. Smith is squarely on the racial fault line and there's not even an intent defense here. Smith said exactly what he intended to say.

You can watch the video here.

Tennessee fans are slowly going insane as the Jon Gruden fever -- Gruver -- continues to build in the Volunteer state.

Monday I wrote why Jon Gruden would be a great fit for the Vols, yesterday I wrote about my bet with Erin Andrews, if Gruden comes to the Vols she sings "Rocky Top," if he doesn't, I shave my head with UF initials in the side. As if that wasn't enough, an individual who runs a UT message board, the 8th Maxim, claimed that the Vols have already hired Gruden. In the resulting frenzy Gruden's wikipedia page was edited 45 times in the last 24 hours, all to remove reference to Gruden becoming UT's coach. 

Today?

Well, today we have a picture of a Tennessee fan posing in a Jon Gruden mask beside General Neyland's grave.

Alabama Student Is Anti-Obama, Spelling

Written by: Clay Travis

We try not to get too political around OKTC. So far I think I'm the only person on earth who has confessed that he actually likes Barack Obama and Mitt Romney. My political leanings are pretty well established, I'm a member of the anti-NCAA party. This means I'm pro-markets and anti-stupidity.

Now that we're twelve days from the election, stupidity is flourishing everywhere.

And if you combine flourishing stupidity with a state like Alabama, already the Rhodes Scholar of state stupidity, well, you end up with signs like this from a University of Alabama dorm room.

Now it's a fake costume? Whatever. This girl shouldn't have picked Alabama as the state she was from, too believable.

Yes, this sign is on the back of a pizza box.

Pick 6

Written by: Todd Fuhrman

6 things you need to know before this weekend's games

By Ryan Cranford

In honor of Georgia-Florida week (it's only fitting that I'm smoking a nice cigar in the fall air as I write this, probably left over from so many hopeful victories that didn't occur), a certain aspect of college football student life can be brought to the forefront.... sneaking into stadiums. Let me shed a little background light for those who may be unaware of this undertaking or may think it a bit juvenile.

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