All That and a Bag of Mail: Men Peeing in the Shower Edition
All That and a Bag of Mail: Men Peeing in the Shower Edition
All That and a Bag of Mai...

All That and a Bag of Mail: Men Peeing in the Shower Edition

Kentucky Fan Gets Asked to Prom Via Jersey
Kentucky Fan Gets Asked to Prom Via Jersey
Kentucky Fan Gets Asked t...

Kentucky Fan Gets Asked to Prom Via Jersey

A GLOSSARY FOR THE NFL DRAFT
A GLOSSARY FOR THE NFL DRAFT
A GLOSSARY FOR THE NFL DR...

A GLOSSARY FOR THE NFL DRAFT

Should Tallahassee Police Get a National Title Ring?
Should Tallahassee Police Get a National Title Ring?
Should Tallahassee Police...

Should Tallahassee Police Get a National Title Ring?

Johnny Manziel Introduces New Lady Friend At Rangers Game
Johnny Manziel Introduces New Lady Friend At Rangers Game
Johnny Manziel Introduces...

Johnny Manziel Introduces New Lady Friend At Rangers Game

Featured Story

Okay, it's mailbag time.

I'm presently writing this in a Los Angeles hotel room with virtually no voice. All my life I've been afraid I'd lose my voice and it never happened. Until now. Last night on television with Petros, I got crushed in our great debate because I couldn't speak loud enough. Right now I'm in the throes of the worst cold ever. (By the way, no one talks about this, but one of the worst things about being a parent of young kids is that one of your kids always has a cold. I mean, always. If your family is big enough then you can pass the entire cold through your family and then repass it back through two weeks later. This is infuriating.)

Michael H. sends us this picture of a Bama fan with magnets on his truck:

"Thought you would enjoy this photo I took in front of an Alabama McDonalds this morning. I think what I love most is that the two magnets don't quite match - meaning they were definitely purchased at separate times. This guy was so happy with the first magnet that he had to go out and get a second one made for child #2. The handy plates are a nice touch too.

May Bama and Kentucky fans never change."

Our beaver pelt trader of the week is Gabriel Garcia Marquez, who wrote this first sentence, which I think is the best in the history of novels, in "One Hundred Years of Solitude:" “Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice.”

I mean, that's just f-ing amazing.

The entire book is just as good.

I've always been a big reader -- you think I got this good at dick jokes by accident? -- and back when I was a kid I was told if you like one book an author writes then go back and read everything he's ever written in the order he wrote it. Here would be my all-time top five favorite writers: 1. William Faulkner 2. Cormac McCarthy 3. Gabriel Garcia-Marquez 4. Franklin W. Dixon (I know this was a syndicate of dozens of writers, but I loved the Hardy Boys when I was a kid. Don't even get me started on the tears I shed when Iola Morton got blown up). 5. Ernest Hemingway

Okay, on to the mailbag.  

Latest Articles

Pick 6

Written by: Todd Fuhrman

6 things you need to know before this weekend's games

By Ryan Cranford

In honor of Georgia-Florida week (it's only fitting that I'm smoking a nice cigar in the fall air as I write this, probably left over from so many hopeful victories that didn't occur), a certain aspect of college football student life can be brought to the forefront.... sneaking into stadiums. Let me shed a little background light for those who may be unaware of this undertaking or may think it a bit juvenile.

In my final two years of high school, I was an avid devotee of the long campaign season of the Republican and Democratic primary elections. I did have a horse in the race—albeit a horse of jettest black hair—so while I wore shirts and buttons and held signs and donated money, I would have been quickly burned out if not for the sheer fun of speculation and competition:

Jon Gruden fever has swept across the Volunteer state.

Right now when you go to www.hirejongruden.com -- go ahead and click -- it actually redirects you to the main University of Tennessee sports site.

The Gruden Fever -- Gruver?--  has replaced the perpetual malaise of the Derek Dooley era, when the question has been the same for the past three years -- when is Dooley going to get a signature win?

Vol fans were so desperate for a win to answer this question that they were even willing to consider on the road at Mississippi State a signature win.

Is UT Southern Miss now?

Anyway, I've been saying for a month now that Gruden would be Tennessee's top target and that the Vols would make Gruden tell them no. I think those conversations will officially take place starting Monday if Derek Dooley loses at South Carolina. (If Dooley wins then assuming he manages to avoid disaster in the final four games of the season -- no guarantee at all -- the entire 2013 season will be a rehash of the 2012 season only Tennessee will have a worse football team).

Yesterday 3HL guest Erin Andrews, who absolutely kills it every Tuesday with us, came on and asked who Tennessee wanted as its next coach.

Dixieland Delight: Texas A&M (Part Two)

Written by: Clay Travis

You can read part one of Dixieland Delight: Texas A&M here.

Twenty minutes before kickoff of LSU-Texas A&M there are no tickets to be found in College Station.

This is alarming.

And incredibly rare.

Given the size of the stadiums and the relative lack of enforcement against the practice, there are generally lots of tickets for sale on the street before big SEC games.

But not for the A&M-LSU game.

Dixieland Delight: Texas A&M (Part One)

Written by: Clay Travis

It's still pitch black at six on an October morning in Houston.

The lobby of the Hotel ZaZa, near Rice University's campus in Houston's museum district, is completely empty except for one girl, a former sorority sister at Texas A&M named Natalie, who is wearing a maroon skirt and sitting alongside a cooler full of liquor.

It's five hours until kickoff and there isn't a yell to be heard anywhere, but the biggest home game of the SEC era at A&M has already begun before dawn.

Six of us climb inside a waiting limo -- rented by Houston plaintiff's attorney Kerry Guidry -- who emailed us on Friday at noon and said. "We're drinking on the patio, come hang out. Plaintiff's attorney's in Houston don't work on Friday's." -- and embark on our journey to College Station. 

Shortly after our departure, Natalie and Lauren, sorority sisters from A&M, have opened a bottle of champagne and mixed it with orange juice.

We're all drinking from wine glasses as we roll through the silent streets of Houston.

Since the sun hasn't come up it's almost like the night hasn't ended, that we're topping off the evening with a football game.

But then a problem arises. 

We have no beer.  

Last week OKTC told you that the reason LSU at Texas A&M was kicking off at 11 in the morning was to protect the Baylor-Texas rating on ABC.

The Baylor at Texas game on ABC -- featuring multiple plugs for the Longhorn Network no less -- kicked off at seven central time.

The LSU at Texas A&M game should have kicked off at six at night if ESPN was scheduling its primetime SEC game correctly. 

Instead, ESPN protected the Texas television rating by avoiding putting A&M on at the same time.  

The rationale was simple, if Texas and Texas A&M aired at the same time, one on ABC the other on ESPN, ratings would have been lower for the Texas game. Why? Because even Longhorn fans would rather watch A&M and LSU play.

So ESPN put Alabama at Tennessee in primetime instead, even though it was a vastly inferior game.  

Now the numbers are in and, guess what, I was right, the nation preferred LSU-A&M. 

Is Jon Gruden UT's Nick Saban?

Written by: Clay Travis

If Derek Dooley's Vols lose at South Carolina this weekend, his tenure as Tennessee coach will come to a merciful close. That's because like Johnny Majors and Phil Fulmer before him, Dooley will be fired after a South Carolina loss and allowed to coach out the remainder of the season. The Vols would still have a decent chance of finishing with four straight wins -- although I doubt they would -- and rather than allow optimism to build over beating mediocre teams, I suspect Dave Hart will elect to end the Dooley era.   

Presently Dooley has posted a 4-16 SEC record, having gone just 1-11 in his last 12 SEC games. So far Dooley's wins are Vanderbilt twice, Ole Miss once, and Kentucky once. (Dooley also lost to Kentucky the other time, meaning that the Vols have won a single SEC game in nearly two years, an overtime win against Vanderbilt). If you think that sounds bad, it can get worse, Lane Kiffin won the same number of SEC games in his lone season as head coach, four, as Dooley has in three years for the Vols. Meanwhile, Phil Fulmer, the national championship winning coach who was fired at Tennessee in 2008, won three games SEC games in his final season, seven the year before in 2007.

So Fulmer won ten games in his final two seasons at Tennessee. In the four years since he left the Vols have won eight.

The Derek Dooley era at Tennessee is officially over barring a win at South Carolina.

If Dooley loses to South Carolina, I think Dave Hart will fire him on Sunday night or Monday morning. I'll write on UT's candidates in greater detail later this week -- Jon Gruden is still target number one -- but Dooley will follow Johnny Majors and Phil Fulmer, both of whom were fired in the wake of a road loss at South Carolina.

I was on the sideline with UT during the 2008 South Carolina game

In fact, the similarities between 2008 and 2012 are jarring. In 2008 Tennessee had a great defense and an awful offense under new first year coordinator Dave Clawson. Game after game the Vols failed to produce any offense and ultimately Fulmer's selection of Clawson cost him his job. The same is likely to be true for Dooley, except it was his selection and promotion of Alabama's former linebacker coach, Sal Sunseri, that will spell Dooley's demise.

How bad has it been for the Vols on defense through the first four SEC games?

The Vols are giving up 43.25 points per game, that number would rank 119 of 120 FBS defenses. (Including out of conference games, the Vols are a robust 96th).

Before we hit the panic button on a scenario where 3 power conference teams finish undefeated, take a deep breath to realize there's still a ton of football left to be played.  To help restore the peace, here are the odds of each team finishing unbeaten given their remaining schedule.

Results 742 to 751 of 999
[FIRST]72737475767778[LAST]