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Featured Story

Okay, it's mailbag time.

I'm presently writing this in a Los Angeles hotel room with virtually no voice. All my life I've been afraid I'd lose my voice and it never happened. Until now. Last night on television with Petros, I got crushed in our great debate because I couldn't speak loud enough. Right now I'm in the throes of the worst cold ever. (By the way, no one talks about this, but one of the worst things about being a parent of young kids is that one of your kids always has a cold. I mean, always. If your family is big enough then you can pass the entire cold through your family and then repass it back through two weeks later. This is infuriating.)

Michael H. sends us this picture of a Bama fan with magnets on his truck:

"Thought you would enjoy this photo I took in front of an Alabama McDonalds this morning. I think what I love most is that the two magnets don't quite match - meaning they were definitely purchased at separate times. This guy was so happy with the first magnet that he had to go out and get a second one made for child #2. The handy plates are a nice touch too.

May Bama and Kentucky fans never change."

Our beaver pelt trader of the week is Gabriel Garcia Marquez, who wrote this first sentence, which I think is the best in the history of novels, in "One Hundred Years of Solitude:" “Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice.”

I mean, that's just f-ing amazing.

The entire book is just as good.

I've always been a big reader -- you think I got this good at dick jokes by accident? -- and back when I was a kid I was told if you like one book an author writes then go back and read everything he's ever written in the order he wrote it. Here would be my all-time top five favorite writers: 1. William Faulkner 2. Cormac McCarthy 3. Gabriel Garcia-Marquez 4. Franklin W. Dixon (I know this was a syndicate of dozens of writers, but I loved the Hardy Boys when I was a kid. Don't even get me started on the tears I shed when Iola Morton got blown up). 5. Ernest Hemingway

Okay, on to the mailbag.  

Latest Articles

AJ McCarron and the Ole Miss Playboy Model

Written by: Clay Travis

Alabama quarterback AJ McCarron has become a bona fide star in the last six months. His girlfriend, Katherine Webb, has also parlayed her BCS title fame into something of a career, she's now famous for being famous and this leads to appearances and attention across the country. 

But all has not been perfect for the Romeo and Juliet of the South, who Outkick the Coverage introduced you to back in December, when Webb had just 180 Twitter followers.

You see, the couple has a bit of a mess on their hands, a third wheel in their star-crossed relationship. 

And that third wheel just happens to be an erstwhile Ole Miss student who posed in the SEC girls edition of Playboy. 

An Ole Miss Playboy model student who AJ met on the sideline at last year's Ole Miss game -- Joe Namath approves -- and who spent the night at AJ's house in Tuscaloosa over the weekend.

Uh oh, scandalous. 

So how in the world did this become a story?  

Bret Bielema met his wife Jen at a Las Vegas blackjack table. 

That fact alone immediately endeared him to Outkick the Coverage. Since then Bielema has taken a shot at Nick Saban and said the Big Ten was jealous of the SEC. 

So he's quickly become one of our favorite coaches in the country who's not named Kliff Kingsbury. 

We already had zero doubt that Bielema outkicked his coverage with a massive 90 yard punt. 

That's why we'd previously inducted Bielema into the Outick the Coverage hall of fame

But we hadn't really made that big of a deal of Jen Bielema before because you guys hadn't really inundated us with her picture before.

Then Jen Bielema went to Las Vegas with friends this past weekend.   

It's Friday, y'all aren't working and it's time to dive into yet another mailbag. 

I praise you guys pretty frequently, but, honestly, the mailbag questions just get better and better. So do the readership numbers. The mailbag is the most consistently popular thing we do at OKTC and it's because you guys are asking great questions and also sharing it with your friends and co-workers. 

Plus, it helps that no one wants to do actual work on Friday. 

Our beaver pelt trader of the week is easy, our buddy Orlando Shaw and his 14 baby mommas. 

On to the mailbag. 

College Football Games of the Year

Written by: Todd Fuhrman

Today is a major summer milestone on the sports betting calendar in Las Vegas. For the 7th straight year, the Golden Nugget is opening their menu of college football game of the year lines before anyone else in the city. The 248 games that include some of the season's most high profile contests will be available for wagering starting Friday afternoon at the legendary downtown hotel.  As far as college football bettors are concerned, this marks the unofficial beginning of college football season from a betting perspective.

Orlando Shaw Has 22 Children By 14 Women

Written by: Clay Travis

Orlando Shaw has 22 children by 14 different women. 

The local Nashville CBS station caught up with him outside the Metro Courthouse and conducted an interview about how this could happen.

The result?

Interview gold.  

You're going to want to watch again and again. 

Because it is completely and totally spectacular. 

There are so many amazing things about this video, but I want you to watch it before you read my breakdown. 

Your Wednesday is about to be made. 

Last night's Game 7 had as much suspense as a cobra fighting a mouse. 

The Miami Heat took total control in the second quarter and from there it was pretty much a blowout.

So who ended up stealing the show?

Justin Bieber and the worst celebrity outfit in the history of NBA courtside seats.

Much to the chagrin of Bieber's fans -- who took to Twitter to harass me after I posted this picture -- Bieber could not have looked worse.  

Yep, it's time for awkward fan photos starring Justin Bieber.

How do I love this outfit? Let me count the 19 ways. 

Yes, this outfit really happened. 

Gordon Gee, Catholics, and Checklist America

Written by: Clay Travis

I'm a gay Muslim on Twitter and Outkick the Coverage. 

Why?

For two reasons: 1. to coopt the stupidity of consistent "your gay' taunts on social media and embrace my gayness and 2. because it illuminates the continuing stupidity of the American social discourse. That is, we use the speaker's background as de facto freedom of speech. 

A gay Muslim in America can truly get away with saying anything, you're simultaneously the most free and the most reviled in our modern society. That's a trade that's worth making for me. I get the creative freedom to write and talk in areas that others can't touch and at the same time I can embrace the hate that comes with that position.

In today's America, if you're a member of multiple minority groups you have different rules for what you can write and say than if you aren't a member of these groups.

So I'm a proud gay muslim.  

Otherwise you need an ethnicity scorecard these days to figure out whether or not someone can say or write what they think about an issue.

Photos have finally surfaced of AJ McCarron's tattoo that features the Mobile skyline

And they are glorious.

McCarron's tattoo is fabulous, a true work of art. 

Our beaver pelt trader of the week is Bosinian farmer Blazo Grkovic who strangled a bear to death with his bare hands when it attacked him.

You'll recall that we previously discussed in the mailbag what animal the average man could kill with his bare hands.

I guessed a cow.

But Blazo Grkovic took down a bear. 

Why Doesn't ESPN Buy CBS's SEC Package?

Written by: Clay Travis

Ask anyone involved in televised sports what the best current television deal in sports is and the answer is unanimous -- CBS's first round SEC draft pick each week along with the SEC championship game for just $55 million a year. 

It's a complete and total steal -- CBS has the best deal in sports. 

Break down the deal and CBS is paying just $3.43 million per SEC game. That compares with ESPN paying over $100 million per game for Monday Night Football. Okay, but that's pro football. Well, ESPN pays the Rose Bowl $80 million a year for just one game.

So CBS gets sixteen total first pick SEC games (there are two doubleheaders each year), including the SEC championship game, for $25 million a year less than ESPN pays for the Rose Bowl by itself.

Wow.  

The SEC on CBS's deal is complete and total insanity, a bargain unlike any other, like buying Manhattan for trinkets. And this deal continues for another decade, meaning that today's numbers, which already look like the television deal of the century, will come to look even more cheap as the years continue to tick by. 

Which brings me to an interesting question, why doesn't ESPN buy the SEC's rights package from CBS?  

(originally published 9/13/12)

My Facebook news feed is good for two things:

1)   Arguments about politics.

2)   Arguments about college football.

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