All That and a Bag of Mail: Men Peeing in the Shower Edition
All That and a Bag of Mail: Men Peeing in the Shower Edition
All That and a Bag of Mai...

All That and a Bag of Mail: Men Peeing in the Shower Edition

Kentucky Fan Gets Asked to Prom Via Jersey
Kentucky Fan Gets Asked to Prom Via Jersey
Kentucky Fan Gets Asked t...

Kentucky Fan Gets Asked to Prom Via Jersey



Should Tallahassee Police Get a National Title Ring?
Should Tallahassee Police Get a National Title Ring?
Should Tallahassee Police...

Should Tallahassee Police Get a National Title Ring?

Johnny Manziel Introduces New Lady Friend At Rangers Game
Johnny Manziel Introduces New Lady Friend At Rangers Game
Johnny Manziel Introduces...

Johnny Manziel Introduces New Lady Friend At Rangers Game

Featured Story

Okay, it's mailbag time.

I'm presently writing this in a Los Angeles hotel room with virtually no voice. All my life I've been afraid I'd lose my voice and it never happened. Until now. Last night on television with Petros, I got crushed in our great debate because I couldn't speak loud enough. Right now I'm in the throes of the worst cold ever. (By the way, no one talks about this, but one of the worst things about being a parent of young kids is that one of your kids always has a cold. I mean, always. If your family is big enough then you can pass the entire cold through your family and then repass it back through two weeks later. This is infuriating.)

Michael H. sends us this picture of a Bama fan with magnets on his truck:

"Thought you would enjoy this photo I took in front of an Alabama McDonalds this morning. I think what I love most is that the two magnets don't quite match - meaning they were definitely purchased at separate times. This guy was so happy with the first magnet that he had to go out and get a second one made for child #2. The handy plates are a nice touch too.

May Bama and Kentucky fans never change."

Our beaver pelt trader of the week is Gabriel Garcia Marquez, who wrote this first sentence, which I think is the best in the history of novels, in "One Hundred Years of Solitude:" “Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice.”

I mean, that's just f-ing amazing.

The entire book is just as good.

I've always been a big reader -- you think I got this good at dick jokes by accident? -- and back when I was a kid I was told if you like one book an author writes then go back and read everything he's ever written in the order he wrote it. Here would be my all-time top five favorite writers: 1. William Faulkner 2. Cormac McCarthy 3. Gabriel Garcia-Marquez 4. Franklin W. Dixon (I know this was a syndicate of dozens of writers, but I loved the Hardy Boys when I was a kid. Don't even get me started on the tears I shed when Iola Morton got blown up). 5. Ernest Hemingway

Okay, on to the mailbag.  

Latest Articles

Things are bad on the Plains.

Auburn can't beat anyone. Jonna Chizik has blamed the devil for Auburn's losses. No one even bothers to go to the games anymore. Even Cam Newton's bag man is giving away his tickets. No one is all in.

Did the Tigers play "All I Do Is Win," on the jumbotron after the New Mexico State game?

Just curious.  

As the Tigers limp toward a road game in the Iron Bowl, it's likely that the win differential between 11-0 Bama and 3-8 Auburn will be the greatest since 1950.

Yep, the vast majority of the people who go to the Iron Bowl this year will have never been to a bigger rivalry mismatch in their lives.  

Alabama Fan's Legs Are Tide Fans Too

Written by: Clay Travis

Most of us aren't concerned with ensuring that if we wear shorts and someone is walking behind us that they know which team we root for.

Then again, most of us aren't Bama fans.

Meet our newest awkward fan photo to star a Bama fan.

This picture was snapped by Nashville singer/songwriter Ellie Holcomb at the Nashville Flea Market. She forwarded it to me a couple of days ago and it made my day.

Now it's making yours.

By Craig Hayes

I took a rare sick day this week after a brief bout with the flu. I've been lucky with my health over the years, and I don’t take many vacations, so it is rare for me to be home on a weekday. Since I was too groggy from a fever to read, I channel surfed for a while until I came across an old, familiar sight on ESPN Classic. There he was on the TV, and I felt like I was 12 years old again.

Last week our buddy Paul Bessire stopped by OKTC to shed some statistical light on the odds that Alabama, Kansas State, Oregon, and Notre Dame would all finish undefeated.

The odds were very low.

Then Notre Dame squeaked by Pitt in triple overtime, Alabama scored a touchdown with under a minute to play at LSU, Oregon outlasted USC, and Kansas State triumphed pulling away.

Suddenly the odds of a four-way undefeated mess have grown quite a bit, from around 1 percent to seven percent. Still not very good, but increasing rapidly.

What do Paul's odds suggest? Try this.

Every four years we all become "experts" in the oft forgotten political realm, bandwagoneers if you will. Party lines aren't drawn by institutional ties or by your college football allegiance but rather by the compulsion to actually feel involved in our civic duty. Just like the popularity polls in college football, everyone has their own criteria for amassing polling data used to forecast a winner. As a man who lives by the power of numbers, popular opinion rarely resonates in my decision making process. Empirical evidence exists to predict the winner of today's election long before it becomes official. If the betting parlors in far away places taking action on today's vote are any indication, our president for the next four years has already been determined.

All That and a Bag of Mail: 2012 Election Edition

Written by: Clay Travis

My political career ended in 2002 when I was fired from a congressional campaign for leaving without proper authorization and wrecking the candidate's wife's Volvo. I was working on the congressional campaign of Jim Cooper, now Nashville's congressman, after my first year of law school and I went to visit my then-girlfriend, now wife, in New York city without proper vacation authorization. I was Cooper's body man -- insert gay joke here -- which meant I was his driver and went everywhere he went. It was actually quite a bit of fun, Cooper was really smart and you find yourself alone in the car all the time racing from one event to another while you have conversations about pretty much everything.

Prior to being fired from the campaign I was a political junkie, college in Washington, D.C., four years working on the hill, I really cared.

Now I'm out of politics completely, I follow it but more as a curious observer than as a partisan.

As I've said before my political philosophy is now pro-markets and anti-stupidity. So basically I'm anti-NCAA.

Now it's election day and y'all seemed excited about a special OKTC election mailbag when I asked about it on Twitter last night.

So here we go.

You'll all hate me by the end.

Starting 11: Notre Dame is a fraud

Written by: Clay Travis

Notre Dame is a BCS title fraud.

Anyone who watched the Irish win in three overtimes against a choking Pittsburgh team knows that the Irish would stand no shot against legitimate competition. In fact, anyone with half a brain who watched Texas A&M play this weekend, knows that the Aggies, who I presently have as the fifth best team in the SEC, would trounce the Irish on a neutral site field. I also think South Carolina would whip the Irish. After another week I'm even more convinced that Notre Dame would be no better than the 7th best team in the SEC this season. 

I think if Alabama played Notre Dame in the BCS title game, the Tide would win by double digits 100 times out of 100. 

Five of Notre Dame's nine wins have come by a single score or less. 

Remember when the Irish beat Purdue 20-17? A three-point home win over a team that's so bad it can't even win a single Big Ten game? I do. 

Remember that astounding three-point home win over 5-4 BYU? I do. 

And on Saturday, needing a Pitt kicker to shank a 33 yard field goal to win?

Notre Dame has two quality wins all season, an overtime win over Stanford that may not have actually been a win -- I think Stanford got in -- and a road win at Oklahoma, where Bob Stoops did what he did in every big game against an opponent not named Texas, choked. 

How much better is Texas A&M than Notre Dame? The Aggies could beat the Irish with Johnny Manziel playing in Scooby Doo costume.  

You know you shouldn't be gambling when...

Written by: Todd Fuhrman

We all go through patches as gamblers, it's part of the inevitable evolution. No one wakes up one morning, makes the decision to become a professional bettor, and achieves instant success. Like any skilled vocation, picking winners often enough to call it a career takes time and comes with plenty of life lessons on the journey. However, I'm not here to tell you what it's going to take for you to quit a job, move to Vegas, and fire large sums on football games since that would make me a real career counselor. Instead, here are 10 signs choosing gambling as a full time career pursuit would be a bigger disaster than taking over as head coach of the Kentucky football program.

You know you shouldn't be gambling when...

Kentucky Fires Joker Phillips

Written by: Clay Travis

Yesterday Joker Phillips's Kentucky team lost 40-0 to Vanderbilt in front of a tiny crowd.

Today athletic director Mitch Barnhart bowed to the inevitability of a 1-9 football season, firing head coach Joker Phillips in the third year of his UK tenure.

There were just over 19,000 people actually in the stadium for the Vandy game.


That's less than Rupp seats by about 5,000 fans.

The buyout will cost $2.55 million.

Alabama's Dream Lives

Written by: Clay Travis

Baton Rouge 

In the wake of his team's win over South Carolina, Les Miles called Tiger Stadium the place where opponent's dreams go to die in a post-game interview. But on Saturday night in Death Valley, with the largest crowd in Tiger Stadium history roaring, and just over a minute left in a game that his team was trailing 17-14, AJ McCarron made his own dream come true and kept alive his team's dream of defending its national title. McCarron drove his team 72 yards for a touchdown that SEC fans will be talking about for decades, an instant classic from down South, a game that will be in regular rotation on the SEC Classics show on the coming SEC Network.

This wasn't just a game between two great teams, it was a contest of wills, pitting the South's two most successful football coaches, Les Miles and Nick Saban, in their seventh gridiron war in six years, the process vs. the grass for all the SEC West marbles.

Yet again.

LSU's dream was redemption, another SEC West division title, ending the awful feeling that has hung over the Bayou Bengals like a neverending hangover since that night in New Orleans when a 13-0 season gave up the ghost. For Alabama, the dream was clearer, extending their dynastic reign over the country, repeating as champions, proving that they're still the finest team in the South. Demonstrating that they can find a way to win on the road despite the greatest home environment in the country, a night game at Tiger Stadium.

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