All That and a Bag of Mail: Men Peeing in the Shower Edition
All That and a Bag of Mail: Men Peeing in the Shower Edition
All That and a Bag of Mai...

All That and a Bag of Mail: Men Peeing in the Shower Edition

Kentucky Fan Gets Asked to Prom Via Jersey
Kentucky Fan Gets Asked to Prom Via Jersey
Kentucky Fan Gets Asked t...

Kentucky Fan Gets Asked to Prom Via Jersey

A GLOSSARY FOR THE NFL DRAFT
A GLOSSARY FOR THE NFL DRAFT
A GLOSSARY FOR THE NFL DR...

A GLOSSARY FOR THE NFL DRAFT

Should Tallahassee Police Get a National Title Ring?
Should Tallahassee Police Get a National Title Ring?
Should Tallahassee Police...

Should Tallahassee Police Get a National Title Ring?

Johnny Manziel Introduces New Lady Friend At Rangers Game
Johnny Manziel Introduces New Lady Friend At Rangers Game
Johnny Manziel Introduces...

Johnny Manziel Introduces New Lady Friend At Rangers Game

Featured Story

Okay, it's mailbag time.

I'm presently writing this in a Los Angeles hotel room with virtually no voice. All my life I've been afraid I'd lose my voice and it never happened. Until now. Last night on television with Petros, I got crushed in our great debate because I couldn't speak loud enough. Right now I'm in the throes of the worst cold ever. (By the way, no one talks about this, but one of the worst things about being a parent of young kids is that one of your kids always has a cold. I mean, always. If your family is big enough then you can pass the entire cold through your family and then repass it back through two weeks later. This is infuriating.)

Michael H. sends us this picture of a Bama fan with magnets on his truck:

"Thought you would enjoy this photo I took in front of an Alabama McDonalds this morning. I think what I love most is that the two magnets don't quite match - meaning they were definitely purchased at separate times. This guy was so happy with the first magnet that he had to go out and get a second one made for child #2. The handy plates are a nice touch too.

May Bama and Kentucky fans never change."

Our beaver pelt trader of the week is Gabriel Garcia Marquez, who wrote this first sentence, which I think is the best in the history of novels, in "One Hundred Years of Solitude:" “Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice.”

I mean, that's just f-ing amazing.

The entire book is just as good.

I've always been a big reader -- you think I got this good at dick jokes by accident? -- and back when I was a kid I was told if you like one book an author writes then go back and read everything he's ever written in the order he wrote it. Here would be my all-time top five favorite writers: 1. William Faulkner 2. Cormac McCarthy 3. Gabriel Garcia-Marquez 4. Franklin W. Dixon (I know this was a syndicate of dozens of writers, but I loved the Hardy Boys when I was a kid. Don't even get me started on the tears I shed when Iola Morton got blown up). 5. Ernest Hemingway

Okay, on to the mailbag.  

Latest Articles

I'm just about to hop in a car and head to Atlanta for the Tennessee-N.C. State game in the Georgia Dome. We'll be broadcasting at the TacoMac on Peachtree for anyone in town who wants to swing by and say hi. But your Friday is about to get infinitely better. Thanks to Kent State linebacker Andre Parker.

Seriously, I can't stop watching this video. The best part -- and I hesitate to call any one part of this highlight the "best" because there are so many small details that are amazing -- is the stiff arm that he throws as he turns up field headed in the wrong direction. That and the convoy of blockers he has leading his way. Oh, and the number of Towson players doing their damnedest to tackle him before he reaches Towson's end zone. 

It's an upside down world. 

Thank you college football, thank you from the bottom of our hearts.  

By Chris Preston

College football returns this week, and I can already tell you who’s going to win this year’s BCS National Championship. 

Nashville:

Every time I see SEC commissioner Mike Slive at big games, he tells me the same thing, he's not rooting for either team, he's just rooting for the officials.

On Thursday night en route to a South Carolina 17-13 victory, Slive's team lost.

SEC officials missed a crucial and clear pass interference call that would have given Vanderbilt a first down at the South Carolina 47. Would the Commodores have scored a touchdown to win? Maybe not, but we'll never know.

Instead fans left fuming over the latest, greatest near miss Vanderbilt Commodore upset victory.

For his part, Vandy receiver Jordan Matthews, who produced a game high eight catches for 147 yards, dodged the controversy. "I'm not going to comment on any calls...I've got to get more open."

James Franklin was less direct, but more effective, in his criticism, "You did know the SEC just came out with very clear rules about talking about the officials and what happens after games. Trying to get me fined?"

All That and a Bag of Mail: The Season Is Here!

Written by: Clay Travis

The season is here!

The season is here!

And Alabama fans are still dumb.

Really dumb. We'll dive in to this picture in a moment. Credit goes to @thejuiceisgood and several of you on Twitter on who ensure that I never miss anything.

The mailbag here a day early. That's because I'll be at Vandy-South Carolina this afternoon -- you can catch my debut as the ugliest pregame sideline reporter in history on NBC Sports Network at 6 et, 5 ct -- and then I'll be driving down to do 3HL from Atlanta -- we'll be at the TacoMac on Peachtree -- followed by more pregame sideline reporting for UT-N.C. State. The next morning I wake up and hop a flight to Dallas to go see Alabama-Michigan. So, yeah, this is pretty much the best tripleheader of my life.

Todd Fuhrman From Vegas: Week One

Written by: Clay Travis

By Todd Fuhrman

We've waited long enough for college football to resume and tonight the 2012 season kicks off highlighted by an SEC East showdown in Nashville. Throughout the season our goal at OKTC is to expand your gambling knowledge base and provide a perspective on football often ignored by the mainstream media.  As a former bookmaker and man with a plan here in Vegas, my goal is gather all the pertinent content from the front lines and disseminate that to everyone in this space. Sure, the lines don't tell the entire story, however, knowing who my colleagues have their eyes on each week will give you a better idea of what to expect on any given weekend this fall.

This week we caught up with the head linesmaker from Betonline Dave Mason to pick his brain about Week 1 of the college football season and what the early betting patterns tell us about the upcoming games.

Vinnie Verno Is Back for 2012

Written by: Clay Travis

Ah, college football. Did anyone else wake up with an erection this morning? You didn't? Me either. I can't believe some people do that on the first day of the season. Total weirdos.

Like our boy Vinnie Verno.

Yep, he's back for this season.

And I know y'all have been waiting to make your bets until you heard his picks on UT-N.C. State, Bama-Michigan, and Auburn-Clemson.

Dive in here.

It's good as ever.

Better, even.

(Click pause on the right side of the screen, and dive right in to Vinnie's picks that will make you insanely wealthy.)

So far Missouri fans have dodged most of the awkward fan photo collections.

Sure, we had to use this awesome guy as the graphic for this video.

But boy does Mizzou do videos.

And badly.

Although, to be fair, the idea of putting girls in a boat in a cornfield was kind of brilliant. And 1960's football trash talk? It's positively Ole Missian.

Plus, the video work here isn't cheap, there was actual effort put into this production.

Which might make things even worse.

Finally, the song dwells right on the border between satire and reality. It's not quite satire and it's not quite real. It's like a country song on mushrooms.

But you know who loves this video? That mullet-haired shirtless Mizzou fan with the badass tattoo on his left forearm. He's holding up the Holiday Inn cup because that's where he contracted syphilis the first time in 1974.

And, am I the only person wondering where this was taken?

Also, with a mustache like this, if you were born in Missouri in any year since 1974 and aren't sure who your dad is, this guy is at the top of the leaderboard.

(FYI, click pause in the OKTC videos on the right side. We're going to get the autoplay figured out, but I want to make sure you don't miss these lyrics.)

Final Heisman Odds for the 2012 Season

Written by: Clay Travis

As we reach college football eve, the season is so close you can almost taste it. We know it's close at OKTC because you knuckleheads flooded the site yesterday. Between mobile and the main site over 150,000 of y'all were on the site yesterday. That's the biggest single day for unique visitors since we launched the site over a year ago. Later today we'll have Todd Fuhrman's debut column with an insider's look on the opening week's college football lines and what Vegas is telling us to expect.

But in the meantime, I thought we'd put the preseason Heisman favorites out there for you guys to chew on today. Instead of reading who writers think will win the Heisman, how about we just see who Vegas thinks the top 44 Heisman candidates are?

So, courtesy of Bovada.lv, here's that list.

By Stevie Cocksman

 

I am a Gamecock fan. Have been for over 30 years. It would surprise no one to learn that the things I associate most with Gamecock football are pain, suffering, and disappointment. Yet, for some reason – just like every year for the past thirty or so - I can’t wait for football season.

Texas Has SEC Envy

Written by: Clay Travis

Two days before Texas A&M kicks off the 2012 campaign and officially becomes a football member of the SEC, it's clear that the SEC is already having a substantial impact for Aggie athletics.

Yes, tickets have sold better than ever before, A&M billboards have sprouted up across the state marking the area as SEC territory, donations have rolled in, and recruiting has been amazingly successful. But perhaps the best sign of A&M's success is this, the University of Texas is waging a campaign to convince the rest of the country that it's an SEC team as well. That's despite the fact that Texas was actually too scared to join the SEC when it had the chance.

Instead of actually joining the SEC, Texas is trying to become a shadow SEC team -- the Longhorns are waging a campaign of disinformation -- they want to play SEC style football without playing against SEC teams.

Which is what cowards want to do, beat up on the weak while claiming to be strong.

Oh, Texas coaches, fans, and players won't admit it because it pains them more than barbwire raked across bare skin, but there's no doubt: Texas is jealous as hell of A&M's move to the SEC.

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