Yesterday's Wildness on Bourbon Street: Harvey Updyke, Crying Bama Frat Boy, Naked Bear Bryant Fan

Published on: January 09, 2012 | Written by: Clay Travis

Yesterday had to be one of the wildest non-Mardi Gras days and nights in Bourbon Street history.

Alabama and LSU fans swarmed the street leading alternating "Roll Tide" and "L-S-U," chants. For three hours I walked up and down Bourbon Street with a camera. The footage we captured was amazing. I'm not sure how much of it will air today at 5 central on NBC SportsTalk, but whatever does air is going to astound y'all. (I'll also be doing a live hit to start the show from the Superdome so tune in then if you can and check out the show).

Many ridiculous things happened yesterday, so let's try and run through in countdown format.

As soon as the video is ready, I'll link what I can here for you to see the actual video.

Until then, here are seven ridiculous anecdotes.

1. The most absurd, I think, was a naked girl with a painted on Alabama jersey and a Bear Bryant hat. 

If it's possible to air on NBC, you'll see that I asked what the Bear would think of her outfit. She replied, "He'd like it."

I didn't put her picture up here because I didn't want y'all to get fired at work. 

But we'll have video of her up soon that I'll link with a warning on Twitter. 

(Okay, y'all insisted. Here she is:)


 
2. Remember our friend the crying Bama frat boy?

Cameras captured him at the end of the first LSU-Bama game.

Well, LSU fans have been killing that guy.

With t-shirts: (I took this yesterday).

And yesterday the guy walking with the "Roll Tears Roll" posterboard found his guy.

Crying Bama frat boy is, like every other Alabama student, in New Orleans for the game.

3. Harvey Updyke was in the French Quarter, said I wanted to write his book, and that he wouldn't let me write his book because I'd upset too many Bama fans.

This is a bit exaggerrated. (I know, shocking).

I told Harvey that if he gave me all access to his trial, I'd be interested in writing his story. I see the Updyke story as "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil" meets the SEC. The problem is that Harvey has given away a lot of his story already via Paul Finebaum's show, his SI profile, the GQ feature, and the "Roll Tide, War Eagle" ESPN documentary.

He's like the anti-Steve Bartman.

Given that right now Harvey is facing two years in jail -- that's the best plea agreement being offered -- this thing is probably going to trial.

So we'll see.

Anyway, here's Updyke is on Bourbon Street courtesy of Izzy Gould.

I didn't think it was much of a surprise that I'd been talking to Harvey Updyke given that we hung out at the first LSU-Bama game.

Here we are posing in front of the Nick Saban statue.

4. An LSU fan had a yellow and purple claw mark tattoo on his right shoulder. 

His tattoo looked infected.

He promised me it wasn't.  

You can decide when you see the video.
 
5. Young LSU fans had a spider that they were dropping off the Jackson Square balcony on to unsuspecting Alabama fans.

I kept expecting them to be shot. 

But I don't think they were. 

Again, video forthcoming.
 
6. Lots of Bama fans greeted me on the French Quarter by yelling, "Clay Travis! We don't think you're gay."

I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt on the your spelling.

We did, however, take the most homerotic photo ever.

And, be honest, you're jealous of my red pants.

Also, I have a lot of fun with Bama fans on here and on Twitter, but here's something that I should convey -- actual Bama grads love me.

Why?

Because they hate the Updyke portion of their fan base more than anybody.  

7. Finally, as I get ready to run downstairs and do my hit with the JOX guys in Birmingham, if you were from the North and saw the girls last night...

You'd go to LSU or Bama on the spot.

I can't even begin to tell you how many drop dead gorgeous girls were on Bourbon Street last night.

Even trying to explain it won't do any justice. We'll have some of them in the NBC video -- I now know why "Girls Gone Wild" was so easy to film, hot girls swarmed us when the camera lights went on.

Let's just make it simple, this weekend is the greatest weekend in SEC football history.

Already.

And the game is still ten hours away.

I'm in heaven.

You know how I know God loves us?

Because SEC football exists.