Petrino's antics show SEC is crazy

So this is life in the SEC.

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By now you’ve heard that Renee Gork, a former member of the Hog Sports Radio broadcast team, lost her job at least in part for wearing a Florida Gators cap to an Arkansas news conference. Razorbacks football coach Bobby Petrino answered Gork’s question before saying he would not answer any more of them from someone wearing that hat.

Ever, apparently. (Her employer made sure of that.)

Because, you know, Bobby Petrino is Mr. Team Loyalty and everything.

When I think of being true to your school, I think Petrino.

What I’m saying is, I think Petrino was worried if he was exposed to another team’s logo for 15 more seconds, he might not be able to fight the urge to abscond in the middle of the night.

Was it a dumb thing for Gork to do? Oh, you’d better believe it. You’ve got to know your situation. She’s a Florida alum and a Florida fan, and so she should know most of all that this is the SEC she’s in. These people aren’t kidding around. They’re insane. But they’re not kidding around.

But, come on. OK, it was a dumb move, wearing opposing-team gear to a team function, especially being in the media. That’s a big, big no-no. But is this really a fireable offense?

In Arkansas? In the SEC? Yes, apparently it is.

Here comes the quote from her former boss, KAKS GM Dan Storrs: “This radio station is Hog Sports Radio. We are very biased. We support the Razorbacks 100 percent.”

Yes, congratulations, you just won over the message-board whackos. On the other hand, you just made your state, region, conference and station punchline material.

But still, there is something to be said for being honest. And for, again, knowing your situation. Because yes, this is ridiculous and silly and outrageous. And wrong. And yet, in some perverse way, this story just illustrates what makes the SEC the greatest, craziest, nastiest, most delicious football conference on Earth.

This is the conference where Florida coach Urban Meyer steps down because that’s what’s best for his family and his health … only to decide that, no, on second thought, he likes football better.

Where a group of Tennessee student-athletes, allegedly wearing UT-issue clothing, are accused of taking part in a robbery. And two of the victims don’t want to press charges … because, you know, you’ve got to support the team.

Where infamous Alabama coach Nick Saban opines on agents and pimps and exploiting young people, and … I really can’t dwell on his recent comments for more than five seconds without my head exploding.

Then there is Steve Spurrier, one of the game’s all-time great needlers, instigators and eye pokers. And yet Steve “Free Shoes University” Spurrier has become the voice of reason in the SEC. Think about that for a second. That’s how nuts this conference is now.

The Ol' Ball Coach would have never gotten anyone fired for wearing the wrong hat. Oh, he would have left you crumpled and twitching before you knew what hit you, with his brand of verbal kung fu. But give Spurrier this – he seems to have a sense of humor about things. The man knows when to wink.

Not so Petrino, not here. It sounded rather innocuous, when he said what he said. But you’ll notice – nobody laughed.

He cleared his throat and the Internet exploded, and whether or not it was his ultimate intention, the radio station knew what to do. Even if Gork does somehow come back, she would do so having written an official letter of apology. For wearing a cap.

A nice, well-placed message to everyone in the Arkansas media. The season hasn’t started yet, and the coach already has his first win.

And yet, I am optimistic for Gork (if nothing else, the denizens of the Florida Gators message boards should take up a collection for her). It was a dumb move. But this situation is so ridiculous, so embarrassing, it may serve as a shock to the system. This may show us that you’ve got to have some perspective sometimes. Life is better if you know when to wink.

“I’ve already gotten two Arkansas hats given to me,” Gork told radio station 92.1 FM The Ticket. See?

“But on the same token, that’s not very professional, either,” she said.

Oh, man. Now she’s gone and done it again.