Monday Scramble: Tiger's top 10
by Golfweek.com
This week's special
So what is Tiger Woods up to?
Golfweek.com
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The big news last week, of course, was that Woods had already tossed the crutches aside following arthroscopic surgery on his left knee the Monday after the Masters. Woods was seen on crutches last week in Las Vegas at his "Tiger Jam XI" charity concert, but is now tromping around in a knee brace.
"Needless to say, I'm a little stir crazy," Woods said. "Although I've been through this before and understand the need for patience, I don't enjoy sitting around. I really don't have a timetable for returning to competition. The doctors have said I should be able to play again in four to six weeks, but nothing is certain. I'm just going to do what they tell me to do."
In the meantime, we here at the Monday Scramble can only guess what's going on inside that multimillion dollar Isleworth estate, besides high-intensity patty-cake sessions with Sam Alexis.
Accordingly, in the spirit of David Letterman, we present the "Top 10 Signs Tiger Woods Is Losing It Just 'Sitting Around' His Multi-Million Dollar Isleworth Estate":
10. Last week, cast a vote via text message for "American Idol" contestant David Archuleta.
9. Just finished building a replica Augusta National clubhouse in the backyard using only empty Gatorade Tiger bottles.
8. TiVo-d Friday's "Oprah" show with guest Tom Cruise.
7. Created a Facebook profile under the alias, "T-Dub."
6. Has asked caddie Stevie Williams to hold the remote control in between flicks.
5. Sent CBS commentator Jim Nantz an e-mail listing the translation of "Hello, friends" in 54 different languages.
4. Agent Mark Steinberg is working on a sponsorship deal with Hot Pockets, Woods' new favorite snack while watching "Price Is Right."
3. Told Hank Haney yesterday that the Medicus driver he bought off an infomercial at 1 a.m. should help straighten out his tee shot in time for the U.S. Open.
2. Last night, requested that his chicken noodle soup come served in the Wanamaker Trophy.
1. Invited Phil and Amy Mickelson over to play "Scattergories."
Quotes of the week
"He chested it out manfully."
-- CBS analyst Ian Baker Finch, describing the actions of a member of the Byron Nelson Championship gallery, who was hit by Ryan Moore's tee shot on the first playoff hole Sunday
"The golf course is just set up too hard... I've heard a lot of people say that the Masters has kind of lost its identity, it used to be on the back nine Sunday where we'd hear the roars and have things happen. It's evolving into more of the U.S. Open type of mentality as a player. You have to grind it out, try and make more pars, and then sprinkle a birdie here and there instead of being more aggressive. I think the last year where we've seen anything where guys go low was Phil when he shot ... 31 on the back nine to come from behind and win. But other than that, the golf course has just gotten too hard...
"I heard they're making some changes for next year, so maybe that might facilitate some lower scores."
-- Tiger Woods, as heard on FSN radio in Washington, D.C., on the current setup of Augusta National
"I'd hope so. I hope everything pans out that way."
-- Woods, as heard on FSN radio in Washington, D.C., on if he think he'll still be winning majors in his 50s
"Well, my least favorite was the one about President Bush because I need to make sure that I keep getting visas to come to this country. I don't want to upset anybody, especially not the President. So that was the one I was most skeptical about."
-- Trevor Immelman, on reading the Top 10 list on the "Late Show with David Letterman," which include the line, "President Bush called to congratulate me on winning Wimbledon"
"Just silly tough. It was way too tough."
-- Annika Sorenstam, on the first-round course setup at the Stanford International Pro-Am
"No, because that's illegal. That's illegal here at Bushwood. Gambling is illegal at Bushwood, sir. I will say he didn't pay off, OK? Put it that way. But I did get -- I got all his pertinent information, so I'll get it."
-- Scott Verplank, on whether or not he collected his winnings from a pro-am wager with Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo
"I don't watch TV. Only American Idol."
-- Morgan Pressel, on her television-watching habits
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