While Tiger's gone, here's how to keep golf fun
by Golfweek.com
At that point, cars will also have been rendered obsolete, in favor of Big Mac-powered human jetpacks. Ninety-nine percent of the world's population will own an 800GB iPhone, which Apple will have found a way to sell for $1.50 (with a 30-year contract).
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And Michelle Wie, following victories in the last two LPGA majors of the year, medaling at the PGA Tour's Qualifying School and winning the Sony Open, will become the most famous/dominant golfer on the planet.
How does a bottle of Gatorade Wiesy sound?
Of course, this is only the Monday Scramble's way of saying things will be a little different without Tiger Woods fist-pumping his way across the globe this summer, fall and possibly spring.
We joke because we are concerned.
It's no secret that many of you have gone off the deep end since Woods announced Tuesday he was shutting it down for a while.
You need to get a hold of yourself.
Tiger out for season
Tiger Woods not only won the U.S. Open, he apparently did so with a double stress fracture in his tibia and a knee that will require reconstructive ACL surgery. Now that all the facts are out, what do you think about Tiger's performance, the PGA Tour's ability to survive the season without him and whether Woods will still be able to break Jack's major record?
More:
Leaving ball marks and divots unrepaired and tossing rakes in the middle of bunkers is not going to solve anything.
It's not cool to wave the cart girl over only to ask for a cup of ice. At least not four times a round.
And no one enjoyed watching you play 54 holes at Pirate's Cove Mini Golf with a Nike SG Sumo2 this weekend.
Grow up. Just because Tiger Woods has left the building doesn't mean etiquette followed him out the door.
Excitement is still here, too — you're just going to have to work a bit harder to find it.
Burying yourself in a fried-egg lie of boredom and depression the rest of the summer is the easy way out. That'd be like skipping the U.S. Open just because your left leg was broken.
Woods has made us lazy, so now it's time to get off your butt and change your ways. That's all there is to it.
Here are some suggestions to help you along the way (if this were the "Late Show with David Letterman," we'd invite Stevie Williams to read them to you):
Must-read:
Must-see:
Top headlines:
Worth a thousand words:
Quotes of the week
"If I was to win the British Open in a month's time, there'd be an asterisk next to it: Tiger Woods not in field. You know what I mean? You want to beat him." — Justin Rose
"On the one side, it could be a loss. But on the other, they know that they don't have the option to bank on Tiger this year, and I'm sure they'll all pull together because of that." — Nick Faldo, on how Tiger Woods' absence will affect the U.S. Ryder Cup team
"I understand why Tiger Woods only plays 15 to 17 tournaments a year because he is in this position almost every time he tees it up and it's tiring." — Stewart Cink, after his victory at the Travelers Championship
"Fifty." — Jerry Kelly, when asked to name the percentage of players on the PGA Tour that play with injuries
"You can see it coming - Denzel Washington will play Tiger Woods in the movie of his win at the 2008 US Open — perhaps one of the great wins in any sport; at any time." — Columnist Paul Lewis, The New Zealand Herald
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