By Andy Nesbitt, FOXSports.com
I hate this time of the year. I really do.
We only have one undefeated team left in the NFL and we all know what that means – we’re getting closer to seeing members of the 1972 Miami Dolphins pop champagne after that final unbeaten team goes down.
I don’t like that one bit. I’m over the 1972 Dolphins. We get it, they had a good season. Enough.
I don’t need to see Mercury Morris living it up after the last unbeaten goes down. I don’t need to see their old smiles. Their old high fives. Their old fist pumps.
I want this to end. Like, now. Well, in February. But you get my point.
So thanks to Peyton Manning and the Broncos, we now only have one team that can do heroes work and run the table. Nobody thought the Chiefs would be 7-0 right now … so why can’t they just keep defying the odds and go 19-0?
I need a reason to believe in this Chiefs team. Or five reasons.
And here are those reasons why it’s easy for me to become a Chiefs fan:
1. Chiefs fans like to keep things simple and get right to the point:
2. Chiefs fans like to use arrows in order to make sure nothing gets lost in their message:
3. Chiefs fans aren’t afraid to engage in passionate high-fives:
4. The Chiefs’ mascot doesn’t mess around:
5. Oh, and their coach is the Kool-Aid Man:
(GIF courtesy of @LSUFreek)
Let that last one sink in for a second.
So now I ask you to join me in becoming a Chiefs fan. We can’t stand by and just let the 1972 Dolphins pop champagne any longer. Their time is over. It’s our time now.
Who’s with me?
I know this guy is:
I get sucked into rooting for undefeated teams out of a genuine dislike for the 1972 Miami Dolphins.
— Jason Linkins (@dceiver) October 21, 2013
Before we get into the picks, let’s share one reader’s comment from last week’s picks, where we addressed one of the most important topics of the NFL season thus far: Tom Brady’s white sweater.
Tony Rome wrote: You’re certainly getting a lot of mileage out of the sweater thing Andy. Then again if there’s one thing no talent hacks know how to do it’s to keep rewriting a non story. Keep up the good work.
Me: Thank you, Tony. I’m looking to become this generation’s Woodward & Bernstein (combined, which is even more impressive since I’m just one person) and I think that was a step in the right direction of fulfilling my dream.
OK, on to the picks:
Dallas at Detroit: Cowboys executive VP Stephen Jones compared Tony Romo to LeBron James this week, saying he won’t be fully respected until he wins a ring, a la LeBron. Hopefully for Romo winning a ring won’t lead to his hair falling out, a la LeBron. Lions 31, Cowboys 27.
San Francisco at Jacksonville: The Jaguars are like a married old man – they can’t remember the last time they scored a touchdown at home. 49ers 27, Jags 9.
Cleveland at Kansas City: Remember that thing from above about the Chiefs’ coach being the Kool-Aid Man? Chiefs 112, Browns 0.
(GIF courtesy of @LSUFreek)
Miami at New England: Patriots CB Logan Ryan was fined $10K by the NFL this week for grabbing his crotch during a TD celebration. MTV immediately asked if he’d be interested in participating in one of their dopey award shows. Patriots 27, Dolphins 13.
Buffalo at New Orleans: A member of One Direction was randomly seen wearing a Buffalo Bills shirt this week in Australia. Moments after the photo was taken he tore his ACL and was placed on IR. Saints 31, Bills 10.
can’t believe my Louis was seen in a Buffalo Bills shirt today. That’s where we’re from pic.twitter.com/WMBVZaWDCM
— hugged 5/5 (@We_Dream1D) October 25, 2013
New York Giants at Philadelphia: Sometimes it’s easy to forget that Eli Manning is a two-time Super Bowl MVP. And by sometimes we mean every time he has taken the field this season. Giants 13, Eagles 10.
New York Jets at Cincinnati: A male Jets fan allegedly hit a female Patriots fan in the face during last week’s game. Can’t stand for that. Bengals 40, Jets 0.
Pittsburgh at Oakland: The Raiders narrowly avoided a blackout as the game was able to sell out late Thursday. Here’s guessing some fans in Oakland won’t be able to avoid the same fate late Sunday. Raiders 27, Steelers 24.
Atlanta at Arizona: Carson Palmer landing on the most disliked players in the NFL list this week was as random as that time Jack Nicholson called out Lt. Weinberg during a tense scene in the movie “A Few Good Men.” Falcons 26, Cardinals 20.
Washington at Denver: Peyton Manning and the Broncos are pretty much the only thing standing in the way of our Chiefs locking down a perfect season this year. Therefore, we need their spirit to be broken. Unfortunately, RG3 still seems to be a little broken. Broncos 34, Redskins 20.
Green Bay at Minnesota: Josh Freeman’s first start with the Vikings last week was the equivalent of an intern spilling coffee all over the lap of the company’s CEO on their first day. Adding injury to insult, he’s now out with a concussion. Packers 30, Vikings 10.
Seattle at St. Louis: The Rams aren’t worried about Brett Favre’s lack of interest in joining the team, they still have a text out to their first choice, Y.A. Tittle. I don’t have the heart to tell the Rams that Tittle’s only phone is a rotary one hanging on his kitchen wall. Seahawks 34, Rams 6.
Last week: 9-5