by Kevin Hench

Comment

In a poll that promises to be as heated as a post-shellacking visit with Brett Myers and as scientifically accurate as Roger Clemens's congressional testimony, you the readers will declare the winner.

In a crowded field, the 10 nominees for the FOXSports.Com Biggest Jerk of the First Half are:

Shawn Chacon

Chacon has a very strong case for First-Half Jerk thanks to his Latrell Sprewell redux with GM Ed Wade. While 94.5 percent of Americans may want to choke their bosses (the other 5.5 percent are unemployed, according to June stats), the rest of the country probably has a better case for assaulting a superior than the journeyman Chacon. Considering his career record (45-61, 4.99 ERA), shouldn't he have been deeply indebted to Wade for putting him on a big league payroll? Apparently not. Instead, Chacon became indignant and surly when he was removed from the starting rotation (0-3, 9.35 over his last four starts). When Wade requested Chacon's presence for a meeting in manager Cecil Cooper's office, Chacon requested Wade's presence on the floor — which shockingly led to Chacon's presence on the waiver wire.

Roger Clemens

Poor Roger Clemens. Everybody around him was using or distributing HGH and the poor Rocket had to win 354 games and strike out 4,672 batters without taking a single performance-enhancing drug. His workout partner and dear friend Andy Pettitte was using HGH. Their trainer Brian McNamee was obtaining and providing HGH. Convicted steroids distributor Kirk Radomski was mailing HGH to the Clemens house. Debbie Clemens was using HGH in preparation for a magazine pictorial. Roger must have felt like an outsider in an HGH-fueled world. Seriously, how delusional are Clemens and his attorney Rusty Hardin? Do they understand what it would take for clear-eyed, rational people — or even congressmen — to believe them?

Alex Rodriguez

If the stories and allegations are all true — skipping out on his wife and newborn for liaisons with Madonna — Rodriguez has to be seen as the favorite for King Jerk of the first half. The stripper in Toronto was one thing (international law and all) and could be lumped into the ho-hum infidelity of life-on-the-road in baseball. But A-Rod took it to a new level this year, prompting wife Cynthia to file for divorce, saying the slugger "emotionally abandoned his wife and children." If it goes to a tiebreaker, his refusal to participate in the Home Run Derby at the All-Star farewell to Yankee Stadium could put him over the top.

Manny Ramirez

Look how adorable he is. Making a cell phone call in the Green Monster during a pitching change. High-fiving a fan in between catching the ball and throwing behind the runner for a double play. Smacking Kevin Youkilis in the dugout. Shoving the team's traveling secretary over his ticket allotment to a game in Houston. Slamming Red Sox ownership for the way they've dealt with him (paying him only $20M a year and excusing his constant childish misbehavior?). What a delightful little scamp.

Barry Bonds

There was a lot of debate within the Jerk Committee as to whether Bonds deserved a nomination. But the defending champion — and one of the all-timers — has to be given a chance to retain his title. Bonds' only serious achievement in the first half was having 11 more counts added to his perjury and obstruction of justice indictment. So if you're scoring at home — where Bonds is spending the '08 season — that's 762 career home runs and 15 felony charges. You know you're unloved when a team that could use your bat signs Richie Sexson instead.

Milton Bradley

We're used to Milton Bradley snapping in the heat of the moment. And nothing is safe — not umps, fans or his own anterior cruciate ligament — when he loses it. So Royals announcer Ryan Lefebvre caught a break when Rangers skipper Ron Washington and GM Jon Daniels intercepted Bradley before the slugger could confront the would-be sluggee in the TV booth. In praising Josh Hamilton's resurrection during the telecast, Lefebvre suggested that Bradley had still not turned his life around, comments Bradley heard because he happened to be the DH and was listening to the game in the clubhouse. How did Bradley choose to convince Lefebvre that he had in fact turned his life around and was no longer the loose cannon the announcer was disparaging? By bounding up four flights of stairs on his reconstructed knee to get at the broadcaster in the booth. Washington and Daniels talked Bradley back down to the clubhouse, where the All-Star broke down in tears. Nope, nothing unstable there.

Ozzie Guillen

Remember when George Costanza was desperately trying to get fired by the Yankees? Spilling mustard on a vintage Babe Ruth uniform. Tying a World Series trophy to his bumper and cruising the Yankee Stadium parking lot. Guillen seems every bit as determined to get canned. First he disparages GM Kenny Williams with a profanity-laced tirade after Williams had the gall to provide Ozzie with a first-place team. Then, in an homage to Lee Elia, he crucified Chicago baseball fans in, yep, a profanity-laced tirade. Next up: a profanity-laced tirade while dripping relish down the front of Shoeless Joe Jackson's jersey.

Omar Minaya

Willie Randolph was too cagey to accept Omar Minaya's invite for a fishing trip aboard the Stugots, but he couldn't avoid his inevitable whacking forever. After a six-game Dead Man Walking homestand, Minaya allowed Randolph to fly all the way across the country for a series in Anaheim before pushing a button on him. Randolph probably let his guard down. Who gets whacked mere blocks from Disneyland, the Happiest Place on Earth? Minaya sent out the "it's done" e-mail at 3 a.m. ET. A classy disposal befitting a team that plays its home games in Flushing.

Al Reyes

I don't know if the events of Reyes' 38th birthday make him a jerk or a new kind of hero for our times. According to witnesses, an extremely drunken Reyes fell against a ceramic pot and came up looking for the guy who had pushed him. His first adversary may have been imaginary, but the second was real and the guy split open the pitcher's nose and blackened his eye. With blood spewing from his mouth and nose, Reyes whirled out of control until a police officer Tasered him to the ground. Reyes got up again and was Tasered again. After his arrest and release early that morning, Reyes pitched in that night's game despite his facial rearrangement and stiffness from the electric shocks. He retired both batters he faced and got the win.

Brett Myers

Hey, Brett, how you doing with those anger management issues? When Myers last made his case for biggest jerk in baseball, police were trying to determine if he'd hit his wife with an open hand or a closed fist. (His wife lobbied successfully to have the charges dropped.) Now he's merely hurling obscenities at reporters, which are just about the only thing he's hurled this year that haven't been hit out of the park. Philly fans are probably less offended by Myers calling a reporter a "retard" than by his staggering 3-9 record and 5.84 ERA.