McKeon hire just a Loria smoke-screen

Let’s start by paying proper respect to Jack McKeon, because let’s face it, any 80-year-old who has the energy (and guts) to face down Hanley Ramirez deserves a lifetime supply of cigars — especially from Marlins fans who think their shortstop’s ego outsizes his talent.

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McKeon made it clear he’s the new sheriff in the Marlins’ clubhouse, benching Ramirez for being late to the ballpark on Monday. This, on McKeon’s very first day on the job. Nice work — except that it’s not going to puncture the bubble of Ramirez’s self-absorption. And it’s certainly not going to make ownership realize Florida’s best player has had a corrosive effect on his teammates, not to mention his managers.

Remember, McKeon isn’t the first skipper to punish Ramirez: Fredi Gonzalez tried it last year, and eventually got fired. Hopefully McKeon has the wisdom and self-awareness to know he wasn’t re-hired to reform Ramirez or to re-organize a franchise that needs a complete makeover.

McKeon replaced Edwin Rodriguez because he was the quick, popular and inexpensive solution available. Maybe Jeffrey Loria thought he could pull a fast one on the Marlins’ fan base, although that’s hardly likely. Everyone remembers what McKeon did in 2003 after replacing Jeff Torborg — he turned the Marlins into world champions, beating the Yankees in a decisive Game 6 in the Bronx.

But the 2011 roster has none of the veterans he inherited eight years ago, so anyone expecting a dramatic run at the Phillies needs to re-calibrate. The sorry Mets are probably a more realistic target.

That’s not such a death sentence, if only the Marlins had an actual plan. It’ll take time to become players in the NL East again. Instead, handing the Marlins to McKeon is like asking Don Shula to take over the Dolphins. It’s a gimmick doomed to fail on its fundamental premise — that an 80-year-old has enough credibility to lead players who are 50-60 years younger.

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This isn’t to say McKeon looks and acts his age — to the contrary, he is a billboard of health, and an inspiration for seniors everywhere. But baseball’s daily grind can take its toll on any man, regardless of his birth certificate. If you don’t believe that, examine photos of Joe Girardi from 2008 and today, then decide for yourself what a win-or-else ethos can do to one’s nerves.

OK, so the Marlins aren’t the Yankees. Fair enough. But McKeon already said he’d had enough of managing when he retired five years ago. The game isn’t any easier today, nor is the travel. And the Marlins’ current losing culture is enough to overwhelm any manager, especially a quick-fix like McKeon.

What’s so mystifying is that Loria has always admired Bobby Valentine, and had a clear, open shot at plucking him from the ESPN booth. Valentine interviewed for the Marlins’ job over the winter, although no offer was ever made. It wasn’t because of Loria, who should’ve imposed his will and hired someone as bright and motivated as Valentine.

But that would’ve assumed Loria was willing to pay a reasonable wage, which in turn depends on Loria sticking around long enough for another Marlins’ renaissance. The other, darker possibility is that he’s merely applying lipstick to the franchise in time for a sale — hoping it will be attractive to another ownership group once the new ballpark opens in 2012.

Flipping property, of course, is a real estate reality, except there are indications the deal with Miami Dade County was actually a heist, with Loria and stepson David Samson coming out on top. Yahoo! Sports Jeff Passan recently chronicled how Loria and Samson intimidated Miami-Dade officials into building them a new ballpark, saying they would move the Marlins unless the county cooperated.

The duo claimed the Marlins were too financially distressed to underwrite this project alone, although figures now revealed the team made nearly $49 million in profit in 2008 and 2009 — or, a third of the $155 million the Marlins are paying for the $634 million structure.

The county howled in protest; by the time the loans have been repaid, Miami Dade will have paid $2.4 billion.

Samson’s response, according to Passan?

“A deal is a deal.”

That’s the backdrop under which McKeon has been hired, although Loria and Samson would prefer fans — and taxpayers — think not of the future, but of the past. Too bad McKeon can’t make it a real reunion and fill the dugout with Josh Beckett, Dontrelle Willis, Brad Penny, Derrek Lee, Mike Lowell . . . just to name a few.

Instead, Marlins fans are being asked to believe in smoke and mirrors. Mostly smoke.

NUMBERS TO WATCH: The Yankees are managing to stay close to the Red Sox during interleague play, no small achievement considering the rotation is now missing two important components — Bartolo Colon and Phil Hughes.

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Hughes is making a slow, but steady comeback from shoulder fatigue, throwing well on Sunday in a Class-A start against the Mets’ Brooklyn Cyclones. The only numbers that mattered in Hughes’ five innings came from the radar gun: the right-hander topped out at 95 in the first three innings, and was as high as 94 in the fourth. However, Hughes’ velocity dipped noticeably in the fifth, when his fastball was no better than 90 mph, according to the Yankees’ equipment. Another scout had Hughes at 89.

Stamina remains an issue; the Yankees are likely to wait another 7-10 days before summoning Hughes and only then if he’s proved he can maintain his velocity.

The other noteworthy trend is CC Sabathia’s line drive and strikeout ratio, both of which have worsened in 2011. Although the big left hander continues to rack up victories — he’s tied among the league leaders with nine — the line drives are up 50 percent from 2010. Meanwhile, Sabathia is striking out fewer batters per nine innings than at any time since 2004.

A month shy of his 31st birthday, Sabathia is still a relatively young man. But there’s no doubt he’s been subjected to a heavy workload and might be paying the price for it. At his current rate, he will finish the season with 245 innings, giving him three straight seasons of 230 or more. No Yankee pitcher has thrown this much in 33 years. Ed Figueroa was the last, from 1976-78.