by Albuquerque Journal

Utah, the only remaining undefeated team on the BCS landscape, is routed by Alabama 34-7 in the Sugar Bowl. Afterward, an obviously confused Don Shula is seen popping champagne in one of the skyboxes.

In Miami, Sooners QB Sam Bradford throws six TD passes as Oklahoma clobbers Florida 55-30 in the BCS title game. University of Texas boosters, with time on their hands and money to burn, fly banners over the stadium mocking the Sooners as phony champs and also make disparaging comments about the Florida citrus industry.

Ex-Lobo hoops boss Ritchie McKay goes through a rough stretch in which he's reprimanded by the NCAA for scheduling road games against intramural teams and also is scolded by school officials for his excess spending in fruitless recruiting trips to Australia, southern France and Antarctica.

Exiled Knicks guard Stephon Marbury, who's making almost $22 million a year, buys season tickets to New York games and sits under the basket so he can watch his club miss out on the playoffs. After one of his teammates commits a 24-second violation, he screams out, "I just earned $2,200."

FEBRUARY

Coach Jeff Fisher's Titans earn a 23-14 victory over Carolina in what Warren Sapp calls "The Hillbilly Super Bowl." Albert Haynesworth is named MVP after sacking Jake Delhomme three times and forcing a fumble. Walking off the field, hot-headed Panthers WR Steve Smith coldcocks Delhomme for not avoiding the sacks. In what might be a related incident, a Disney character nearby is seen nearby bleeding through its fur.

Marvin Menzies gets his Aggies off to a 6-1 start in the WAC basketball race as NMSU begins its drive for the top seed for the league tournament in Reno, but has a queasy feeling when he sees Reggie Theus mingling with boosters at games.

Ex-Lions coach Rod Marinelli shows up at the Scouting Combine in Indianapolis with a stopwatch and clipboard for no apparent reason. Detroit owner William Clay Ford spots Marinelli wearing a team jacket and demands he return it.

Stock-car legend Richard Petty and NASCAR boss Mike Helton stage a garage-area skirmish to stimulate interest in the Daytona 500. But in a stunt gone awry, Petty knocks out two of Helton's teeth and sends him reeling into a pool of transmission fluid. That amounted to "The King's" first victory since the 1984 Firecracker 400.

Brett Favre, surrounded by his tearful family, calls a news conference from his Mississippi homestead to announce he will retire, but that his arm is still strong.

MARCH

The New Mexico Scorpions make a late charge to make the CHL playoffs with a 10-game unbeaten streak. Cher, looking for work, becomes the team's version of Kate Smith and sings God Bless America at all home games.

The NBADL Thunderbirds sign an exclusive deal with Albuquerque Public Schools and announce they'll adopt an all day-time home schedule. Beer sales sag but the SpongeBob SquarePants kiosk is swamped every game.

Newly sig ned Yankees pitcher A.J. Burnett says he intends to hold out for a better deal after learning that first baseman Mark Teixeira just signed a deal that's worth twice his.

North Carolina, UCLA, Tennessee and Wake Forest earn the top seeds for the men's NCAA's Big Dance, but Notre Dame takes home the crown. The Lobos and Aggies settle for NIT bids, with the Steve Alford's UNM squad going all the way to the semifinals. ... In the women's field, the Lobos are seeded 10th in the NCAAs after losing in the MWC semifinals. They vow to "shock the world," but fall in the first round.

After leading Los Alamos to the Class 4A semifinals, Hilltoppers big man Alex Kirk announces he will skip his senior year and go directly to college. "I'm tired of playing against punks 9 inches shorter than me," says the 6-11 junior. "That, and squeezing this giant body into those tiny desks in math class is really

getting old."

APRIL

On the fifth anniversary of the April Fools' joke in which professional announcer Mike Roberts tells Lobo fans he is leaving to be voice of the Aggies, UNM offers Mike his old job back.

The baseball Lobos sweep two games at Arizona, prompting coach Ray Birmingham to pronounce: "We're going to Omaha!"

Tiger Woods, coming off a major knee injury, wins the Masters by 10 shots, then in a move to prove he's not just in it for himself, announces he'll play the rest of the season lefthanded to give others a chance. He then hits CBS announcer Jim Nantz over the head with a crutch for asking one too many stupid questions.

The Denver Broncos pull a draft-day trade so they can acquire standout Ohio State running back Chris Wells, who tears a hamstring walking to the podium. QB Matthew Stafford is the overall top selection of the Lions, but vows to go to medical school rather than play for Detroit.

Baseball fans are horrified when they arrive at the new Yankee Stadium to discover a box of Cracker Jack costs $45 and that burly pitcher CC Sabathia, who now weighs 500 pounds, is reduced to wearing enormous elastic pants.

MAY

A lbuquerque Ac ademy senior Max Walla, a threat to break the single-season home run record of 17, hits nine homers in a wind-swept doubleheader at the Chargers' field.

In the wake of the contract extension received by Penn State's 82-year-old Joe Paterno, Lobo women's basketball coach Don Flanagan signs a 25-year deal that will keep him with the team until he's 90.

Houston Astros left-hander Mike Hampton, who has been on the disabled list countless times in his career, is forced to miss at least four starts after suffering a concussion while

peeling a grapefruit.

Indy driver Danica Patrick loses the

Indy 500 by half a

car length to Sam

Hornish Jr., and

then storms into

the garage area to

blame each of the

other 32 drivers

for blocking

her in the

2 0 0 -lap

event.

Midshipman becomes just the fourth pre-race favorite in the past 29 years to win the Kentucky Derby. Trainer Bob Baffert, jubilant after his first win in the Run for the Roses since 2002, predicts they'll win the first Triple Crown since 1978, then declares his horse can talk and loves to play chess.

La Cueva's talent-laden baseball team goes undefeated to claim its sixth state title in seven years - and no one's happy, including the Bears. "We only gave up seven runs all season, but it's those seven runs that will keep us awake at night knowing we could have been better," says a prominent La Cueva booster. "That coach better watch his back."

JUNE

While attending the French Open tennis tournament in Paris before minicamp, Arizona Cardinals backup quarterback Matt Leinart narrowly averts drowning after a jokester places a mirror on the bottom of his hotel pool.

Albuquerque's Holly Holm and the only other woman pro boxer left in the world agree to meet at Tingley Coliseum. At stake are the title belts from all the weight classes from every boxing organization.

Three Italian restaurants spring up outside Isotopes Park after the team names ex-Dodger icon Tommy Lasorda as assistant to the president. Albuquerque's Triple-A team, filled with Dodgers prospects, sets a record by drawing 600,000.

In Boston, hundreds of fans are injured when separate parades celebrating titles won by the Bruins and Celtics collide in front of the new Gahden. Bruins tough guy Milan Lucic, fed up with seeing Kevin Garnett's face the past two years, adds electricity to the event when he pushes Paul Pierce aside and lands a haymaker to the Celtic star's head. Pierce fakes an injury and doesn't come to Garnett's aid.

Defending AL champ

Tampa Bay, off to an 18-34 start, plays in front of a home crowd of only 312 against the Orioles. Seven starters are traded to reduce the payroll.

Unemployed Manny Ramirez opens a barber shop outside Fenway Park. After his establishment catches fire, he receives minor burns after refusing to run full speed to safety.

Arizona State wins the College World Series over Rice, a team that ousts New Mexico in the Super Regionals.

JULY

In the British Open, vicious winds knock all players off balance and send scores soaring. Except for 420-pound John Daly, who comes off his suspension and isn't fazed by the "breezes." He romps to his third major triumph.

In the Tour de France, race organizers go overboard when they give the boot to three teams for using Vicks Vapo-Rub. Lance Armstrong, with no major competitors still running, coasts to yet another Tour title.

Ex-UNM kicker Katie Hnida re-enrolls at school and petitions the NCAA for an eighth year of eligibility.

E SPN 's Jo e Mor ga n announces for the cycle when he mispronounces the entire Philadelphia lineup during a Sunday night game. Afterward, the Phillies' Cole "Hamel" presents him with a souvenir Phillies bat covered with misspelled autographs.

In Thousand Oaks, Calif., Terrell Owens leads a player revolt after hard-nosed Dallas coach Wade Phillips schedules two weeks of three-a-days. All the Cowboys show up at T.O.'s rented condo and do sit-ups until the cameras leave.

AUGUST

Lobos football coach Mike Locksley announces his team will wear a new costume in 2009. White pants will be worn for home games, and UNM will adopt the "Penn State look" with all red jerseys with no stripes. Also, the Zia symbol will return to the head gear.

Pete Rose is finally voted into the Baseball Hall of Fame after being shunned by baseball for decades because of his connections to gambling. He doesn't attend the ceremonies, however, because of his lucrative gig signing autographs in Vegas.

Colts QB Peyton Manning agrees to endorse every product made in the world.

SEPTEMBER

Seeking one final on-court shot at fame, 50-year-old John McEnroe works his way through qualifying to the main draw at the U.S. Open. McEnroe, thinking he can win the title with the recent rash of injuries on the circuit, loses in the first round to 596thranked Armin Sandbichler of Austria, goes on a profanitylaced tirade, makes tasteless remarks about Mozart and rifles a tennis ball off Sandbichler's head, prompting a riot at Arthur Ashe Stadium.

The Lobos and Aggies meet at University Stadium with undefeated records in a game that captures the nation's imagination. New Mexico's wide-open offense beats NMSU in four overtimes, 62-60. Seen in the press box scouting the game is San Diego State's new defensive coordinator, Rocky Long, who refuses interview requests. "I just want to coach," he says.

Jeff Gordon wins a Sprint Cup race at Bristol that's reduced to 80 laps because of economic woes. Matt Kenseth, who was 1,250 points behind Gordon in August, eventually takes the title without ever winning a race.

In a day we've all feared would come, a UFC competitor suffers a career-threatening leg injury after slipping in blood gushing from his opponent's head.

OCTOBER

Holly Holm, having defeated and retired every female boxer, signs on to fight a dancing bear at Rio Grande Zoo, then, after losing a close split decision, complains about having to fight on her opponent's turf. A rematch is demanded.

Barry Bonds, the latest sports personality to be lured to Dancing With the Stars, muscles his partner's right arm from its socket while apparently getting too rough during a tango. Nonetheless, Bonds advances to the third round.

After the Chicago Cubs beat the Cleveland Indians to win their first World Series since 19 08, s nowb a l l s are reported in hell and Calista Flockhart is seen eating a double cheeseburger.

Artesia grad Landry Jones assumes the role of starting QB at Oklahoma after Sam Bradford bolts for the NFL. The redshirt freshman guides OU to an unbeaten season and is hailed as the greatest signal-caller in Sooners history. "I draw my inspiration from those tough games I used to have back in high school," Jones says. "Texas is good and all, but it's nothing compared to Goddard."

The Yankees fire interim manager Bernie Williams after he goes 50-30 and fails to make the playoffs. He had taken over for interim manager Mel Stottlemyre, who went 50-30 after taking over for Joe Girardi, who was fired after starting 0-2.

NOVEMBER

UNM safety Ian Clark will undergo another surgery on his shoulder after attempting a Lobo leap in the north end zone and getting pulled up too hard. Coach Locksley then fires golobos.com senior writer Richard Stevens, who was in charge of monitoring the Lobo leap.

Upon further review, the New Mexico Activities Association decides to scrap its plans for a new six-class alignment in hoops and volleyball and go with a one-size-fitsall approach in all sports. In a controversial move, the NMAA puts Rio Rancho in the same district as King's Gate Academy and Dulce.

After the Cowboys' seventh loss in 10 games, bombshell Jessica Simpson drops a bomb on Tony Romo and announces she's seeking a man who has a higher passer rating in the red zone. During Dallas' ensuing bye week, Romo is seen at Dollywood sharing a ROOT beer float with Marie Osmond.

Hatch Valley, under new offensive coordinator Hal Mumme, wins the state football title with a 112-45 victory over St. Mike's. Hatch goes 7-for-7 on fourth downs. Also, Clovis edges visiting La Cueva 15-14 in a divisional game that is called off with eight minutes left on the clock, after Clovis' last touchdown, when sprinklers come on and saturate the field.

DECEMBER

Aggies football fans overflow University Stadium to watch NMSU, which went 8-4, throttle Wyoming 49-45 in the fourth New Mexico Bowl. Breathless Aggies announcer Jack Nixon is administered oxygen after the game. ... Soon after, bowl director Jeff Siembieda and the NCAA sign a deal that will allow New Mexico State to play in the game every year no matter its record.

Brett Favre, surrounded by his tearful family, calls a news conference to announce his picks for this season's Super Bowl.

The NFL, in its quest to televise night games in the coldest climates possible, schedules a Bills-Dolphins game for Yellowknife in the Northwest Territories, where drivers from the "Ice Road Truckers" show can watch.

San Diego State, winner of the Mountain West, is routed by Oregon 54-6 in the Las Vegas Bowl after the Ducks finally solve Rocky Long's innovative 1-1-9 defensive scheme. Oregon rushes for 800 yards.

A tearful Brett Favre gets no Christmas card from exteammate Thomas Jones.

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