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Winning is tough work, but somebody's gotta do it

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foxsports admin

 
Updated Feb 25, 2009 11:35 AM ET
     
 
Winning a race at any of the three NASCAR national series is a feat within itself. The competition is so tough and the cars are so close that taking a checkered flag is really an accomplishment. I have been fortunate enough to experience two wins in a row with the No. 17 team at Roush Fenway Racing and it's been awesome! However, with every great accomplishment and milestone comes a few downfalls — maybe a few that you've never considered. Check these out (and keep a tongue-in-cheek perspective!)

Legal or not?

The rigorous NASCAR postrace inspection takes a little more than two hours. The legitimacy of nearly every nut and bolt is verified to ensure a legal winner. That's great and all, but this really hampers our ability to get to the airport in a timely manner in an effort to head home. I don't understand this ... we're legal, everyone is — take our word for it and let us go home!

What's with all the hats?

We won the last two races and I wound up with a total of 26 hats. I only have one head. I don't know what to do with 25 other hats.

The race after the race

If I want to get from the spotters tower to Victory Lane in time to participate in the festivities (and get all those free hats), then I have to hustle. This means a lot of running. Those who know me can attest that the word "running" has never graced my vocabulary. If I wanted this much exercise I'd go to the gym — voluntarily.

What was that?

I am beginning to suffer some hearing loss from all this winning. Huh? Well, you see, when they take our pictures in Victory Lane you have to yell, "WOOOOO!!" It seems to have been my luck that the two teammates on either side of me are Enrico Caruso and Luciano Pavoritti — screaming that exclamation directly into my ear canal. Maybe I should stand in the back ... Or next to Matt.

I've seen the light!

My eyes are going crazy. There are probably 50 or 60 photographers that snap at least three photos of each hat that we wear. Simple calculation tells me that's about 150 camera flashes per hat — times eight hats. Do you have any idea how long it takes to stop seeing 1,200 white spots every time I blink?

Shake, shake, shake!

High-fives can be annoying too. What happened to the good old fashion handshake? "Hey pal, good job today." I don't know whose idea it was to raise your arm and slap another guy's hand, but if we keep winning I'll probably dislocate my shoulder by Bristol.

This is costing me a fortune in dry cleaning

Is there really a need to spray all of that champagne aimlessly? How about passing out some Dixie Cups and let us have a simple sip of the intoxicating bubbly? No way. We have this need to get each other as wet as we can with a sticky alcoholic beverage. Hey, my wife is out of town — I don't know how to use the washer and dryer — and I was gonna wear this shirt again next week. You know, all in all this winning stuff really is OK. Yeah, we have to endure a little screaming, some camera flashes and a multitude of hats on our heads ... But you know what? I don't think I'd trade any of these inconveniences for anything!

Mike Calinoff is a Championship spotter for Matt Kenseth and Roush Fenway Racing. He is also an independent Driver Development and Motorsports Marketing consultant. His comments herewith are not necessarily those of Roush Fenway, Matt Kenseth, their sponsors, affiliates or associations. To learn more about Mike, visit his website mikecalinoff.com.

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