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On the Mark: This is the Shaq we want

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Mark Kriegel

Mark Kriegel is the national columnist for FOXSports.com. He is the author of two New York Times best sellers, Namath: A Biography and Pistol: The Life of Pete Maravich, which Sports Illustrated called "the best sports biography of the year."

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Updated Mar 4, 2009 2:28 PM ET
     
 
Last Friday, Shaquille O'Neal dropped 40 on Chris Bosh, whom he later derided as "the RuPaul" — he's dating himself — "of big men."
On Sunday, he outperformed his eternal nemesis, Kobe Bryant, who missed more shots (20) than O'Neal attempted. On Tuesday, he got a chance to best Orlando's Dwight Howard, a man he recently accused of identity theft, the crude larceny of his already tired "Superman" persona. Yes, basketball is a team game. But when it comes to Shaquille and those he considers his antagonists, it's intensely personal. O'Neal works on the rapper's theory of reputation; that which diminishes his opponent makes him feel bigger. And he wants desperately to be bigger than them all. With each new pronouncement — "Make 'em quit and complain. It's what I do" — his goal becomes more clear. Shaquille O'Neal is playing for posterity. This is a welcome, if sudden, return to relevance. O'Neal is the greatest center since Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, and the most physically dominant since Wilt Chamberlain. But Friday, he turns 37, and the truth is he's wasted the last few years acting like he's 12. Almost a year has passed since he got himself traded to Phoenix, overweight and, not coincidentally, oft-injured. The Suns considered his acquisition as a last-best chance to win a championship. They thought wrong. Phoenix was crushed in the first round of the playoffs. Mike D'Antoni got a new job. O'Neal embarked on an embarrassing, if short-lived career as a nightclub rapper. The primary target of his ire, of course, was Bryant. O'Neal's refrain — Kobe, tell me how my --- taste? — had accomplished the impossible. He had transformed Kobe from the spoiled, self-involved upstart into the sympathetic character. Here was a fat guy, chumped in the first round by the Spurs, goofing on the reigning MVP as Kobe was working to redeem the reputation of American basketball in Beijing. Then, as if it would somehow secure his place in Lakers history, O'Neal tried to diminish Jabbar. Don't tell me he was just goofing, either. He knew exactly what he was saying, and it was shameful. (Jabbar, by the way, was more of a warrior than he ever gets credit for. Just for the record, when he was 37, he started 79 games, averaging eight rebounds and 22 points, on 60 percent shooting. Oh, yeah, he won another championship, too.) Big as he was, Shaq was looking real small. Loud as he was, there was something pitiful in his attention-seeking. He had lost his immense likeability. All he had diminished was his own legacy. Now O'Neal claims it was all a marketing ploy. No one challenges this ridiculousness because, after all, Shaq is back. The Suns' "seven seconds or less" offense has been modified. It's now seven seconds or Shaq. This is a welcome development. A good Shaq is good for the game, very good in fact. There's nothing so wrong with nursing a grudge. O'Neal wants to be adored and honored, hailed as the greatest. Fine. Just let him understand that his place in posterity will be determined by deed, not doggerel.

On the Mark

After declining to even consider Scott Boras' counterproposal, Dodgers owner Frank McCourt said negotiations for Manny Ramirez would "start from scratch." Really? Is McCourt going to take his bat and ball and go home, too? By the way, shame on Boras for agreeing to any deferred money and passing it off as straight salary. I mean, why should his client be giving McCourt an interest-free loan? With the government appealing a judge's ruling, expect the Barry Bonds trial to upstage the World Series. After five seasons, I'm finally done with "The L Word," which now seems entirely dedicated to proving that hot lesbians can be every bit as annoying as straight girls. Even as I write this, Steve and Barry are wondering if a line of green Starbury's could've saved their doomed retail chain. Kerry Collins is an inspiring story and all, but how does he get a deal before Kurt Warner? I like Yahoo!'s Dan Wetzel, but I'm not sure I buy his argument, however compelling, that Bud Selig allowed the major leagues to become a seamheaded version of WWE. Let's be fair. You can't really say for sure until baseball's first generation of juicers start dropping dead of mysterious heart and liver ailments. By then, Bud will be in Cooperstown. After signing Brett Favre, what do the Jets do for an encore? Michael Vick, of course. Juan Diaz and Juan Manuel Marquez threw more power shots Saturday night than were thrown in the heavyweight division in all of 2008. By the way, if Floyd Mayweather comes out of retirement to fight Marquez, you heard it here first. Brian Dawkins signs with the Broncos, and the fans in Philly are taking it harder than Rocky's last loss. I thought that World Series glow would last a little longer. With the free agent signing period comes the revelation that Ray Lewis has long dreamed of being a Cowboy. Like Mark Teixeira, who always wanted to be a Yankee. Being a parent/chauffeur, I'm forced to subject my kid to a lot of sports radio. She gets a kick out of this guy Petros on KLAC, whose exuberant, dexterous vocabulary includes several words forbidden to her. But I get a little nervous when they go to commercial. You've heard the ads. How long before she asks: "Daddy, what's male performance?" I mean, what do you tell a kid? It's like when you can't dunk anymore, honey. Anyway, I'm always relieved to look in the backseat and see Holiday Kriegel fast asleep. Pete Maravich used to play language tapes for his kids when they were in the crib, figuring the ability to speak a foreign tongue would seep into their subconscious. Me? I put De La Soul in the CD player, figuring the girl will wake up even cooler than she already is.

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