Not too late for LeBron to work it out

Remember how much you used to like LeBron James?

He was the too-good-to-be-true local product, the Chosen One, charged with saving and transforming a moribund franchise.

LeBron James is one of many free agents making important decisions.

• Free agency buzz: Latest big news
• Rosen: Shaq can help Celtics
• Power Rankings: Who's No. 1 now?
• Free agency winners and losers
• Rosen: Free agents gone bust
• FOX Sports Ohio: Questions for Cavs
• Rosen: Heat's failure would be good
• Lawrence: Time for Knicks' Plan B
• Kriegel: Knicks overpay, as usual
• Rosen: Amar'e-D'Antoni, not again!
• Summer of LeBron page

Never have two things seemed as equally impossible as living up to his advanced billing and resuscitating the Cavaliers. But LeBron did both.

Upon his arrival in the NBA he immediately started putting up Oscar Robertson numbers, joining the Big O and a guy named Michael Jordan as the only men in league history to average a 20-5-5 line in their rookie seasons.

In his fourth season he led the Cavs to the NBA Finals, single-handedly pulverizing the favored Pistons in the conference finals, memorably scoring Cleveland’s final 25 points in a double OT victory in Game 5.

In the last two seasons he has led the Cavs to the best record in the NBA and won back-to-back MVPs while averaging 29 points, 7.5 rebounds and 7.8 assists.

Even as circumstances demanded he become an NBA scoring champion he still had that pass-first DNA that made him a joy to watch and presumably to play with.

But a funny thing happened on the way to being engraved on hoops' Mount Rushmore.

We saw LeBron’s petulance when he refused to shake hands with the Magic players after his ’09 conference final loss. We saw his fragility when he was dunked on at a summer basketball camp and reps were dispatched to make sure the outside world didn’t see it. We saw his seeming indifference for long stretches as the Celtics upset the Cavs in the 2010 playoffs. And now we are seeing, in all its naked glory, LeBron’s unchecked vanity.

The interminable courtship of LeBron -- that he has invited and encouraged -- has turned into something downright tawdry.

It’s like LeBron is a rock god, auditioning groupies to see which will debase herself most thoroughly for his gratification and ego satisfaction. The level of obsequious supplication demanded by Team James to even be included in the conversation is nothing short of offensive. And such is the power LeBron wields that the line of submissives hoping for entrée to the orgy extends around the block.

Miami bound

The most coveted free agent in NBA history made his choice. Now what? Keep up with everything you need to know about the Summer of LeBron.

Is this really necessary? Do you really need to see a PowerPoint presentation, a for-your-eyes-only cartoon or a deferential Russian billionaire to understand that a franchise is “committed to winning” and doing things “first class all the way.”

LeBron has been in the league seven years. He knows all about Chicago and Miami and New York. The restaurants, the rosters, cap space, it is all public knowledge.

But, hey, my reps don’t feel like Googling. Why don’t you have your entire front office hop on a plane to come sponge bathe me.

Dazzle me.

Show me what you’re willing to do for me.

Explain Amar'e Stoudemire’s latest Tweet for me.

That’s right, no team that hopes to have LeBron as the center of its universe can make any other move without worrying about its impact on his decision. So when Amar'e prematurely announced he was getting a max contract from the Knicks and would set to work luring Carmelo Anthony and Tony Parker to the Big Apple the Knicks had to quickly walk back and assure Team James that nothing had happened that couldn’t be rescinded should it not meet with the King’s liking.

I can’t figure out if LeBron is Joe Pesci tormenting Spider in "Goodfellas" or Caligula getting turned on by the aphrodisiac of power in ancient Rome.

It feels like the age of droit de seigneur when the lord was entitled to sleep with the villager’s virgin bride on their wedding night. C’mon, Donnie Walsh, show me how much this means to you.

And while there are many suitors, there are really only two possible outcomes as far as LeBron’s legacy is concerned: he stays in Cleveland or he leaves Cleveland. Let’s look at both.

If LeBron chooses to take a little more money and stay home then won’t this entire charade have just been an exercise in near Kim Jong Il megalomania?

I mean, how much groveling could you make someone do if you knew you were just going to say no?

But staying in Cleveland is, of course, the right thing to do.

Leaving Cleveland now would be like John Edwards or Newt Gingrich stepping out on his wife while she undergoes chemo.

Chicago? They’ve already got a statue out front. Miami? Sure, if you want to play in one of the most apathetic sports towns in America. New York? The beauty of being LeBron is your reach is already global. New York needs you more than you need it.

But Cleveland, man, that town needs you.

LeBron has said, “it all comes down to winning,” That’s right, if he doesn’t win a title -- a seeming impossibility given his age and talent -- LeBron will only have one of the 99.9th percentile best lives in the world. Now he is mulling what franchise gives him the best shot of guaranteeing that last one tenth of one percent.

Well, ‘Bron, Cleveland may not be the team that gives you the best shot at a title, but she is a good woman. She loves you. She’s loyal to you.

And you’ve already humiliated her with these dalliances. Now it’s time to start making it up to her and hope Cavalier fans and the rest of us all forget this whole sordid, speculative mess.