by FOXSports.com

In accordance with his last wishes, a recently deceased Puerto Rican man was stood upright and dressed in a Yankees cap for his wake.

Now if he could just pinch-hit for Melky... (Juan Alicea Marcado, El Nuevo Dia / Associated Press)

Hey, don't laugh. The Yankees just tried the same thing with Carl Pavano — and it worked.

I've been hearing a lot about Kobe Bryant's redemption. Think that's what Paul Pierce calls it?

Lyudmila Blonska, the Ukranian heptathlete stripped of her silver medal after testing positive for steroids, blamed it on her husband/coach.

According to the IOC, "her relationship with her husband was currently conflictual."

Conflictual?

That a Roger Clemens word? Guess it all began when Miss Lyudmila started leaving the toilet seat up.

It's official: Hurricane Fay was in South Florida longer than Nick Saban.

Michael Phelps has now appeared on as many SI covers in the past month as Mark Spitz did his entire career.

By the way, why is it that Olympic athletes like Phelps are free to endorse Frosted Flakes and Big Macs, but the guys who make the NCAA rich still have to take their money under the table?

Speaking of which, that case against Reggie Bush and USC is still speeding along, huh?

Misty May? Sorry, but the name makes it sound like she did her best work on Vivid Video back in the early 90s.

To see what happened next, you'll have to pay $14.95 a month. (Mike Hewitt / Getty Images)

Difference is, this Misty May wore less clothes.

So who passed the rule that every woman in the Olympics has to compete in a bathing suit?

And why were the ping pong players exempt?

Tell me ping pong in a thong wouldn't do better ratings.

When did the USOC stop recognizing boxing as an Olympic sport?

Admit it, a bunch of you guys out there heard about these problems between Russia and Georgia and wondered, "What the hell is Putin's problem with the SEC?"

The A-Rod-Madonna thing seems to have run its course, but people still want to know what she saw in a guy who can't hit in the clutch.

Easy. First, even old broads need publicity.

Second, quite obviously, he reminds her of the kid who used to hand her the towels at the Delano.

Chinese gymnastics coach Lu Shanzan said: "It is a question of race. European and American athletes are all powerful, very robust. But Chinese athletes cannot be like that. They are by nature that small."

OK, maybe so. But what if a coach or Olympic official had offered the old "question of race" explanation pertaining to, say, European target shooters or African-American basketball players?

Just asking.

Word is, Hugh Hefner will not — repeat, will not — take on a fourth live-in girlfriend.

And you thought you had a stressful day?

Guess any more than three is just too conflictual.