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Welcome to The Sundays of Our Lives
The Old Man and the C
Now that Brett Favre has been voted a captaincy by his teammates and hailed as a savior in New York, all he has to do is carry a team that went 4-12 last season on his 38-year-old shoulders.
NFL Week 17
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Week 17 action
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Vikings 20, Giants 19 -- Recap | Box
Panthers 33, Saints 31 -- Recap | Box
Packers 31, Lions 21 -- Recap | Box
Falcons 31, Rams 27 -- Recap | Box
Texans 31, Bears 24 -- Recap | Box
Patriots 13, Bills 0 -- Recap | Box
Colts 23, Titans 0 -- Recap | Box
Steelers 31, Browns 0 -- Recap | Box
Raiders 31, Bucs 24 -- Recap | Box
Bengals 16, Chiefs 6 -- Recap | Box
Eagles 44, Cowboys 6 -- Recap | Box
Dolphins 24, Jets 17 -- Recap | Box
49ers 27, Redskins 24 -- Recap | Box
Ravens 27, Jaguars 7 -- Recap | Box
Cardinals 34, 'Hawks 24 -- Recap | Box
Chargers 52, Broncos 21 -- Recap | Box
Analysis
Video
Photos
My friend Rich Hanrahan used to do a standup bit about the fickleness of the New York sports fan. He compared the outpouring of love for Jim Abbott after he threw a no-hitter for the Yankees ...
"That guy's a hero! He's got one arm! He just threw a no-hitter! He's a hero!"
... to the reaction after Abbott got shelled in his next start ...
"Go back to the circus you one-armed freak!"
For now Brett Favre is the belle of the ball. But should a couple of his balls get picked by safety Yeremiah Bell or other members of the Dolphins defense on Sunday, well, he'll find out just how hard it is to make love last in New York.
And if Chad Pennington outplays Favre on Sunday, you know some Jets fans will be grumbling, "We never shoulda let dat guy go."
Cardinal Sins
NFL coaches don't care about good and evil. They don't care if one guy is a devout Christian and the other a partying lout who sees no cause bigger than himself. But they do care about woefully under-throwing receivers and failing to put the ball in the end zone.
So, with that in mind, Cardinals coach Ken Whisenhunt has tabbed true believer Kurt Warner as his starting quarterback. The decision was first reported after Matt Leinart posted a 2.8 QB rating in an exhibition apocalypse against the Raiders two weeks ago. Apparently Whisenhunt is old school enough to believe your quarterback rating has to exceed the number of girls in your hot tub.
After throwing 21 touchdowns in the final eight games last year — more than record-setting Tom Brady — Warner must be wondering why he had to compete for the job in the first place. But he'll be under center against the Niners on Sunday. The last time he faced San Francisco all he did was throw for 484 yards and two touchdowns.
Meanwhile, Leinart will have to find the strength to persevere as a well-paid understudy. Oh, and he'll also have to find some arm strength if he's ever going to be a consistent starter in the NFL.
Esquizofrenia Paranoica
A mysterious character has arrived in Cincinnati who looks exactly the same as Chad Johnson. But he swears his name is Chad Ocho Cinco. Could this be Chad's evil twin? Well, no, because how could you behave worse than Chad Johnson? It must be Chad's benevolent twin, a humble Latino who will hand the ball to the referee after each touchdown.
Chad may have changed his name, but the Bengals have not changed their stripes. Not only did they welcome back Chris Henry, but they did precious little to improve the league's 27th-ranked defense.
Ocho Cinco. A new identity for one man and the approximate number of points Cincinnati will allow when it faces the Browns and Cowboys in Weeks 4 and 5.
Now that the name change is legal and official, the Bengals should trade Chad to a team where No. 85 is taken. Say, the Chargers (Antonio Gates) or Packers (Greg Jennings). Chad Ocho Nueve?
But seriously, a Bengals wide receiver legally changes his last name and it's the one whose name we could spell. Great.
Pac Is Back
Not since teenage boys were fantasizing about Victoria Principal has there been this much pent-up anticipation in Dallas.
The 21st century triplets — Tony Romo, Terrell Owens, Marion Barber III — were gone in the first 13 picks of my fantasy draft. Felix Jones looks like he's ready to be the lightning to Barber's thunder. Tank Johnson looks ready to be the anchor of a ferocious 3-4 defense.
And now — after 18 months on a rollercoaster — Adam Jones is ready to start over. Thanks to the injured groin of Terence Newman (seen here on his own emotional rollercoaster), Pac may be starting over as a starter Sunday against the Browns. So much for easing into things in the nickel package, covering the slot. Now Jones will be forced to run with Braylon Edwards and Donte' Stallworth from the first play. And pretty much everybody outside Cowboy Nation will be rooting for him to fail.
Tatum Bell Hop
While many Bengals have spent their checkered careers accumulating unwanted baggage, former All-Pro tailback Rudi Johnson needed only a couple of hours to shed his baggage in Detroit.
Apparently not everyone was watching the quiet dignity with which the last men cut from the Dallas Cowboys on Hard Knocks accepted their releases.
According to reports, Tatum Bell, the man who was cut to make room for Rudi, was so displeased with his displacement he left the Lions' facility with the Gucci luggage Johnson had received as a Pro Bowl gift. Bell contends it was all a misunderstanding, but at the very least he seems to have proven he deserves a spot in the NFL ... he'd fit right in with Rudi's old team.
The bags were returned without their contents by an unidentified woman.
"I got the bags back — empty," Johnson said. "So he's got a bunch of my underclothes. What he's going to do with that, I don't know. He's got some socks and boxers."
Bell issued this bizarre non-denial to the Detroit Free Press:
"I wasn't thinking or nothing," he said. "I just grabbed the backpack and grabbed the other bag. They weren't in nobody's locker or nothing like that. They were just sitting there by the computer area right there. I grabbed them and put them in the car."
Oh, well, as long as they were in the computer area and you grabbed them and put them in your car, by all means, help yourself to the contents therein.
Member Comments
Woo Hoo!!! Are you ready for some football? Good, Leave the drama fo yo momma.
swhite19/7/2008 12:27:00 PM(Report inappropriate content)
I`ve been a Dallas fan since I was a kid in the 70s.A true fan sticks with their team when they lose, because it makes you appreciate when they win. There will always be those fans who jump on the bandwagon. There used to not be that many Patriot fans around. Now they are everywhere.
Jimbones689/7/2008 9:51:00 AM(Report inappropriate content)
I would also like to display my hate for Dallas "fans". Every few years when Dallas becomes a contender, all these "fans" crawl out of the woodwork wearing their tattered old Deion Sanders jerseys. Saying "Watch, Cowboys all the way this year baby!" These fans are the most band wagon jumping degenerates in all of sports. The Cowboys are the Yankees of football. They will pay ANYONE to play for them regardless of what they've done. Terrell Owens is the worst teammate of all time, but they scooped him riight up. At least he finally came out of the closet last year whining about Tony Romo. Then theres Tank and Pacman. Why don't they start send scouts to prisons, Im sure they can find someone theyre willing to pay. Then theres Zach Thomas who is one concussion away from eating his steak through a straw for the rest of his life. Tony Romo is the quarterback that gets the most undeserved praise that Ive ever seen. What has he done exactly? One good year doesnt make you a great quarterback. I heard someone compare him to Peyton Manning, the most idiotic thing Ive heard in a while. Surround Joey Harrington with that much talent and watch him thrive. America's team? The fanbase is fencesitters who would cheer for Hitler if he won 3 straight Super Bowls.
tHEcHAMPiZhERE9/7/2008 8:58:00 AM(Report inappropriate content)
Everyone watch and enjoy the season.Anyone else who is so anal should of been as good at football as they are analyzing it....just found a hot place, you guys should try it ---s u g a r bab y m a t c h.c o m a greatplace to meet hot women and successful men....The girls are so hot lol
supnetm9/7/2008 8:56:00 AM(Report inappropriate content)
New York's fickle fans and Bret "Fickle" Favre sounds like a perfect match.
GoJoeMontana9/7/2008 8:47:00 AM(Report inappropriate content)
Cool Slayer....your response tells me that you are the result of humans cross breeding with chimpanzes. The Niners are still light years away from that Lombardi Trophy.
twk11779/7/2008 8:39:00 AM(Report inappropriate content)
Ive been a niners fan my entire life, but you people are ridiculous. They still have a couple more years before they are even remotely competitive against the NFL elite. They have a shot to win the division, but it won't be easy and 7-9 definitely won't do it. Have you forgotten about the Seahawks? Although they are a team on decline, the still won a playoff game last year. And you can;t count out the Rams with a healthy trio of Jackson Bulger and Holt. And if the enigmatic Kurt Warner can do what he did the second half of last season, the Cards could win 10 games. I wouldn't say that the NFC West is far and away the worst division in football. The AFC East is pretty crappy minus the Pats. Even with the addition of much overhyped, overrated Brett Favre to the division. The NFC South isn't much to look at neither. Not to mention the AFC West. Without Ladainian Tomlinson, the entire division would be the epitome of football mediocrity. So to say 7-9 will win the NFC West is crazy. The division isn't as bad as it appeared last year. So unless JT O' Sullivan iis the second coming of Steve Young, the Niners will styill be in need of a decent quarterback before they can hope for success.
tHEcHAMPiZhERE9/7/2008 8:31:00 AM(Report inappropriate content)
Cant wait to see all of that talent in Dallas explode on the Browns.
CalibusMedusa9/7/2008 8:13:00 AM(Report inappropriate content)
pac man is a disgrace and a thug. may he get burned in the first half, blow out a knee in the second and get shot in a strip club by midnight. he should be in prison, not on the field. it figures the cowpies are so desperate for a championship that they would give money to such a shameful human being. good job jerry. you have made it more likely that another man in your town will be shot by one of pacmans"posse" when pacman wants his money back from a stripper.
wyovike9/7/2008 8:06:00 AM(Report inappropriate content)
Go Brett!!!!!<br />He is going to take the defense for a ride today in Miami.
foreverpac9/7/2008 7:26:00 AM(Report inappropriate content)
How about them cowgirls, looking good, that's a good thing cause when Dallas plays this year, thats all that will be worth watching. Dallas couldn't even beat Denver in the pre-season with Denvers 3rd string in Tisk Tisk
lakotawolf149/7/2008 7:24:00 AM(Report inappropriate content)
As long as the niners play in that weak division they call the NFC West...they will make the playoffs.....probably at some weak record like 7-9.<br /><br />Put them in a real division like the NFC East or AFC South where there were three play off teams EACH and all the teams were better than 8-8....In the AFC South...they would have to play Indy, Jax, TN or Houston TWICE...or in the NFC East they get to play...philly, NYG, the Redskins or the Cowboys TWICE....and the niners are no better than a 5-11 team. And in contrast take any team out of the NFC East or AFC South and move them to the weakest division in football the NFC West (Rivaled only by the NFC North)...ANY of those teams would be at 10-6 or better. <br /><br />So sure because they are in a weak division where even a pathetic 7-9 will get you in because you "won" the division...the niners will make the playoffs...but at the end of the day...they still won't get anywhere.<br /><br />So the only gold rush that is back...is the fools gold rush. <br />Soak it up now while the season is young...by week 3 these niners bandwagoneers will be crying and making excuses about why an inexperienced QB like JT O'Sullivan was named the starter...or how their best receiver is 20 years older than coolslayers mom.....he may even start running down memory lane to qualify all the knowledge that he has about the game....talking about how his mom went on a drunken romp one sunday and he is the illegitimate offspring of the niners mascot.
twk11779/7/2008 7:12:00 AM(Report inappropriate content)
Rams will crush the overated Eagles. GO RAMS !! Fan since 1975
killingjoke649/7/2008 7:03:00 AM(Report inappropriate content)
WHAT THESE PLAYERS CALL THEMSELVES DONT MEAN NUTTIN THO OCHO CINCO IS SILLY AND NOT IN CLASS. FOR A MAN TO TRULY CHANGE IT MUST BE A CHANGE OF HEART NOT NAME.
LRDSSUPPER19/7/2008 5:26:00 AM(Report inappropriate content)
THE COWBOYS R 4 REAL ULL SEE AFTER TODAY BUT THE BROWNS R A MUCH IMPROVED LOOK 4 THEM TO BE BIG IN AFC PLAYOFFS
LRDSSUPPER19/7/2008 5:19:00 AM(Report inappropriate content)
Well, all I can say is this: Keep your eyes on the Bengals afterall. The new defense was very, very good in the preseason. No one really ran the table on us. If our receivers stay healthy, we're in good shape. Our special teams are always going to give up yards, but they score a bunch. I'm not worried at least. The AFC North Belongs to the Cincinnat Bengals!
Washington_Court_House9/7/2008 4:09:00 AM(Report inappropriate content)
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