by Peter Schrager

Here's the conversation that took place:

Rusty: So, "he" is a free man, and we're supposed to be outraged. But in my eyes, boys — and granted, they're not great eyes — the man has served his time. I'm a sucker for second chances and I like the way he plays the game of football. Hell, I'd like to see him on the field this season. Does this make me a bad pup?

Maxwell: I can't say I'll ever root for the guy, but he did serve his time and pay his debt to society. Let's not linger on that debate, though, fellas. We've wasted enough barks on that over the past two years.

Spot: You two are such softies. When a mailman comes walking by, do you just purr and play fetch? No, you bite that postal worker in the rear. What's gotten into you? Screw Michael Vick. He should have to wear that monitoring device on the field the rest of his career ... in the UFL.

Rover: So much has changed since he last played. It's a completely different league.

Jack: His Falcons went from being one of the worst teams in the league to one of the best. Matt Ryan took that team from the bowels of the NFL and made them into an NFC power. Hell, they're much better off without Mike Vick under center.

Flash: They're not the only team I would have lifted a hind leg over two years ago that's turned it around. Look at the Dolphins — from 1-15 to AFC East champions in a matter of one year.

Buddy: Or the Ravens. Like the Falcons, they went to the playoffs with a rookie under center and a first-year coach.

Rusty: I've never eaten a Raven or a Falcon. Any good?

Maxwell: Eh, too salty. But you've got to try Cardinal. Exquisite.

Spot: And how about the Cardinals? The last time Vick was out there, they were still the laughingstock of the league. Now, they're the defending conference champions, have Kurt Warner back for two more seasons, and are loaded on both sides of the ball.

Rover: I've got a full house. I win this hand. Speaking of full houses, how about what Bill Belichick's working with in New England these days?

Jack: Fantastic segue, Rov. Very impressive for a dog with no formal education. You're right. The last time Vick was on the field, Randy Moss was in Oakland. Adalius Thomas was in Baltimore. Wes Welker was in Miami. Jerod Mayo was at Tennessee. They're loaded in New England. And with Tom Brady back and healthy, they could be right back in the Super Bowl next February.

Flash: But those Dolphins sure gave them fits with the "Wildcat" formation last year.

Buddy: Ugh, cats. Disgusting species.

Rusty: Wildcats are even worse. They're too ... energetic. Elusive.

Maxwell: That very formation, though, is what intrigues me most about Vick's return. You don't think he'd be a natural in that type of offensive package? Stick him under center for a few downs per game, let him run or throw out of the shotgun, and watch the defenses crumble at their knees. Certainly some team will roll the dice on him.

This dog couldn't make it to the card game, but it's clear what he thinks of Michael Vick. (Mike Zarrilli / Getty Images)

Spot: Would he be willing to play some secondary role, though? Michael Vick used to be one of the most electrifying players in the NFL. His jersey was the top seller a few years back. He's going to be OK with working 10 plays a game at the league minimum?

Rover: He may have no other choice. The guy's not exactly rolling in dough. He forfeited $70 million from a 10-year, $130 million contract, had to pay $928,000 in restitution for the care of victimized pit bulls, and lost all that endorsement money. The dude's $20 million in debt. If he's offered the league minimum, he shouldn't think twice about accepting it.

Buddy: Have I mentioned how much I hate cats?

Jack: You have. Lions too?

Buddy: Eh, Lions are harmless. The NFL ones are, at least. Since Vick's been off the field, they've won just 7 of 36 games. They've dropped 23 of their last 24.

Rusty: And those Jaguars — they're not looking much better.

Flash: As much as we hate felines, we can't disrespect those Panthers in Carolina. After a bunch of mediocre seasons, they're the defending NFC South champions and return 21 of 22 starters.

Buddy: I can disrespect any and all cats. I'm a dog. That's my right.

Jack: You mentioned the Jaguars. Could Vick end up in Jacksonville? I was reading an article on MSN Money on my old man's laptop that labeled the Jags as one of the most at-risk franchises in sports. In the past two years, the economy's gone to hell and some teams are burning. The Jaguars could certainly use an economic boost. Vick jerseys will sell and he'll pack that stadium.

Rover: Interesting point. But all 32 teams are hurting financially these days. You don't think the big-city teams — the Jets, the Bears, the Redskins — could use an economic boost, too? And what the hell is a laptop? I sniff my own butt all day.

Buddy: That's wonderful, Rov. Seriously. Just wonderful. But the addition of Vick wouldn't guarantee positive results. For one, the public relations situation could be a nightmare. PETA will protest, local community groups will be outraged, and the locker room could be a media circus. No legitimate contender will want to deal with any of that.

Jack: So, what about the Browns? They're certainly not legitimate contenders.

Spot: I don't know. I can't see Vick playing for a group of fans that fancy themselves as "The Dawg Pound."

Jack: How about the Bengals?

MICHAEL VICK CENTRAL

Nothing about Michael Vick has ever been normal. And certainly his return to the NFL after a two-year prison sentence. FOXSports.com has the complete coverage of Vick's Philadelphia freedom.

Buddy: Ugh, another team of cats. The worst. And don't you think they have enough distractions in that locker room? They've already got Ochocinco and his Twitter feed. They need the Vick media circus now, too?

Rusty: Let me throw an idea out there: Vick in Cowboys blue. Think about it — they haven't won a postseason game since '96, they need to fill a brand new billion-dollar stadium, and Jerry Jones is always looking to make a splash.

Jack: Did you hear about Romo and Jessica Simpson?

Rusty: I did. I'm saddened by it. I thought those two kids were really going to make it.

Buddy: Loved her in "Dukes of Hazzard."

Spot: Great film.

Maxwell: I think we all agree on two things — 1. Jessica Simpson is a fantastic actress and 2. Michael Vick could end up on one of several NFL teams. But this whole conversation is for naught if commissioner Goodell suspends the guy. And from what I'm sniffing, he may just end up doing that.

Buddy: Then, I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Rover: In the meantime, I'll be sniffing my butt.

Jack: Cheers to that. Now, shuffle up and deal already, will ya?