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No one will be smiling on Jets-Pats sidelines

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Kevin Hench

An accomplished film and television writer, Kevin Hench's latest screenwriting credit is for The Hammer, which stars Adam Carolla. His podcast, Spider and the Henchman, is available every Friday on iTunes. MORE>>
     
 
In most weeks, a coach breaking down in tears after a loss would be enough to penetrate the national football conversation. But Rex Ryan's heart-on-his-sleeve waterworks got lost in the wailing rapids of Patriot Nation as Bill Belichick made Grady Little look like a genius game manager. There's a good chance neither will be happy on Sunday. Ryan will certainly be bummed if his Jets lose for the sixth time in seven games. Belichick will be cranky even if he wins because, well, he's Bill Belichick, longtime sufferer of acute dysphoria. Both coaches are coming off wrenching defeats. In a normal universe, the Jets' 24-22 home loss to the Jaguars would seem like a much worse loss than the Pats getting edged in Indy. But the football universe got turned upside down last week. Belichick's spectacular quintfecta — 1) playing prevent up 31-14; 2) burning his timeouts; 3) going on fourth-and-two at his own 28 with a six-point lead; 4) not sending everyone on the Colts' ensuing possession; and 5) not letting the Colts score to leave his QB time for a game-winning field goal — left all of New England as grumpy as he usually seems to be. As for Ryan, he looked like a much better coach when Kris Jenkins was anchoring the middle of his defense. Since Jenkins went down with a knee injury in the second quarter of a Week 6 loss to the Bills, the Jets have been able to beat only the lowly Raiders. When Jenkins got hurt, the Jets led the Bills 13-3. In the 11 home quarters following the injury, New York has allowed 67 points in losses to the Bills, Dolphins and Jaguars. But Ryan's defense is still the only one in the NFL so far this season that has managed to completely contain Tom Brady. In the Jets' 16-9 win in Week 2, Brady completed a season-low 48.9 percent of his passes with a season-low 53.1 passer rating. It was also Brady's only game of the year without a TD pass. In Brady's eight other games, he has averaged 315 yards. The bad news for the Jets — in addition to starting safety Jim Leonhard joining Jenkins as injured — is Wes Welker did not play in Week 2. In the seven games, he has played, Welker has averaged 9.1 catches. If not for the two games he missed earlier in the season, Welker would be on pace to break Marvin Harrison's single-season record of 143 catches. If Brady moves the ball like he did last week against the Colts, the Jets will not be able to hang with the Pats in a shootout and will get blown out. But if it's close, who has the edge? One of the truest measures of a great coach is preparing his team to succeed with the game on the line. This year, both coaches have been awful in close games. The Jets are 2-4 in games decided by one score or less, losing their past four close ones. Belichick, winner of three Super Bowls by three points each, is 2-3 this season in tight games, including last week's one-point loss after his incomprehensible series of brain freezes. One of these coaches will get the bitter taste of Week 10 out of his mouth. One of them might even get the bitter look off his face.

Raider Melodrama of the Week

What would you do with $55 million? Because the Raiders have apparently flushed that much guaranteed money down the toilet on JaMarcus Russell and Darrius Heyward-Bey. Russell has finally been replaced as the starter by Bruce Gradkowski, who could very well be the league's worst backup (career rating 58.7). Gradkowski's rating (44.2 this season) took a hit that wasn't his fault Sunday when his on-the-money delivery on a potential game-winning drive bounced off Heyward-Bey and into the arms of the Chiefs' Mike Brown for the game-sealing interception. Between Russell's scattershot inaccuracy and Heyward-Bey's butterfingers, this duo has set a new standard of bust-to-bust ineptitude.

Hottest Hot Seat

Seeing Dick Jauron get axed with three wins couldn't have made one-win Eric Mangini feel all that good about his future. Especially since that one win was a 6-3 victory over Jauron's Bills that set football back 80 years. (That game was one of five in which the Browns failed to score a TD and one of six in which they've scored six points or fewer.) After a truly pathetic, 16-0 home loss to the Ravens on Monday night in which the total boos dwarfed the total yards, Mangini's fate seems pretty much sealed. Once hailed as the Mangenius in New York, Mangini has lost eight of nine games, a couple of general managers and the locker room. The only thing left for him to lose is his job. Tick, tick, tick.

Humiliation of the Week

Though he would end up being saved by a replay reversal, no player has suffered a more embarrassing on-field moment this season than Packers punt returner Traman Williams getting stripped by Cowboys punter Mat McBriar. McBriar was the last man to beat as Williams bolted into the clear, but he staggered and started to go down. Milliseconds after his knee (luckily) touched the ground, McBriar poked the ball free and the Cowboys recovered. Since the call was overturned and Green Bay won the game, 17-7, you can bet there was some raucous laughter in the room at Williams' expense during film sessions this week.

The Week in Favre

After his latest surgically efficient carving up of an overmatched opponent, Brett Favre now has the best passer rating in the NFL (107.5). He has never finished a season with a rating over 100. If he leads the league in rating and leads the Vikings to a top two seed — a lock at this point — he could win his fourth NFL MVP award. Favre last won the AP MVP award in 1997. The current longest gap between MVP awards is seven years. Jim Brown won his second in 1958 and third in 1965. So that would be yet another record for Favre, 12 years between MVP awards. Favre's quest figures to keep rolling along this week as the Seahawks come to town with the league's 22nd-ranked pass defense.

Where the Bad Call Bar Is Set

Lost amid the baffling sequence of Belichick decisions that allowed the Colts to storm back from a 31-14, fourth-quarter deficit was the seemingly annual terrible pass interference call against the Patriots in Indianapolis. The NFL got another DB scalp in its ongoing mission to punish perfect coverage and reward poorly thrown passes when Darius Butler was flagged for backing into Austin Collie while backpedaling under Peyton Manning's wobbly duck. The 31-yard penalty set up the Colts' penultimate TD and set the stage for Belichick's legacy-marring final 2:23.

Fantasy Headache of the Week

There is a disturbing new NFL trend for geeked-up roto owners to worry about: the suddenly selfless running back. Brian Westbrook started it with his brainy slide at the 1 two seasons ago, and Maurice Jones-Drew repeated the move last Sunday. One of the great joys of fantasy is watching your guy break into the open field destined for the end zone, but between DeSean Jackson's premature celebrations and heady moves by running backs, even that thrill can be thwarted at the last second.
Tagged: Darius Butler, Brett Favre, Ravens, Colts, DeSean Jackson, Chiefs, Raiders, Bruce Gradkowski, Dolphins, Maurice Jones-Drew, Vikings, Patriots, JaMarcus Russell, Jim Leonhard, Austin Collie, Kris Jenkins, Bills, Wes Welker, Jets, Mike Brown, Tom Brady, Eagles, Seahawks, Browns, Peyton Manning, Cowboys, Darrius Heyward-Bey, Packers, Jaguars

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