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Best Damn most outrageous sports moments
10. Tonya and Nancy
Cui bono? Who benefits?
This is pretty much the first question considered by authorities in a criminal investigation, which probably explains why it didn't take them very long to crack this ridiculous case. The incredibly insular world of figure skating didn't exactly produce a raft of suspects and it's safe to say Tonya Harding's name jumped off the page as they considered who might have the most to gain from a Nancy Kerrigan injury.
As Kerrigan sat screaming, "Why? Why?" the cops were asking the same question. It didn't take Sherlock Holmes to suss out an answer. Harding's stooges — Messrs. Gillooly, Eckardt, Stant and Smith — were quickly implicated, indicted and convicted.
A month before the '94 Olympics Harding issued this statement: "Despite my mistakes and rough edges, I have done nothing to violate the standards of excellence in sportsmanship that are expected in an Olympic athlete." Hmm, really?
Somehow Tonya was allowed to skate at Lillehammer, where she wept over a broken skate lace and finished eighth while Kerrigan took silver.
Then came the Penthouse pictorial, the boxing win over Paula Jones and fairly regular scrapes with the law, including a fight with her boyfriend that ended when she flung a hubcap at him.
9. Rocket launches missile
The World Series. Yankee Stadium. Yankees vs. Mets. Roger Clemens and Mike Piazza, squaring off for the first time since Clemens drilled Piazza in the head in an interleague game earlier in the season. Sports stages don't get much bigger than this first-inning showdown in Game 2 of the 2000 Fall Classic. And outrageous behavior doesn't get much worse than Clemens throwing Piazza's shattered bat at the unsuspecting superstar.
Clemens' many explanations for this bizarre play included the over-caffeinated defense. Too much java. Delmon Young got 50 games for hitting an umpire with his bat. Clemens got a stern talking-to, stayed in the game and pitched the Yankees to a 2-0 Series lead.
At one point Clemens claimed he thought the shattered bat was the ball. So he thought he was throwing the ball at Piazza as he ran to first? Makes sense. The most outrageous part is that the umps looked the other way.
8. Mom to the rescue
It may be only the eighth most outrageous moment in sports history but it is definitely the most humiliating. Imagine getting your butt whipped in a boxing match and then having your mom climb into the ring to defend you with her shoe.
In a 1989 fight for the British light-heavyweight championship Tony Wilson got knocked down in the third round by Steve McCarthy, but that wasn't the decisive blow. Wilson's mom Minna Wilson then sprang into the ring and started beating McCarthy with her high-heeled shoe, opening a gash on his forehead that required four stitches to close. When McCarthy refused to continue, the victory was awarded to Wilson — Tony, not Minna.
7. LSD-fueled no-hitter
We've now come to a point where seemingly every significant achievement in baseball occurs under a cloud of suspected drug use. Such was not the case on June 12, 1970 when Dock Ellis was surprised to learn he'd be pitching the first game of a doubleheader in San Diego for the Pirates.
According to Ellis, he dropped some LSD around noon in Los Angeles before learning from his girlfriend he was scheduled to pitch the first game of a doubleheader, starting at 6:05. Ellis thought it was an off day, a mistake his girlfriend explained by reminding him "you slept through Thursday." Ellis hopped on a $9.50 flight from L.A. to San Diego in time to make his start.
"I can only remember bits and pieces of the game. I was psyched. I had a feeling of euphoria," Ellis recalled. "I was zeroed in on the (catcher's) glove, but I didn't hit the glove too much. I remember hitting a couple of batters and the bases were loaded two or three times."
Actually he hit only one batter, but he did walk eight in his 2-0 no-hitter, a remarkable achievement when you consider the Padres' team OBP was .315 in 1970.
"The ball was small sometimes, the ball was large sometimes, sometimes I saw the catcher, sometimes I didn't," he said.
6. 10-cent beer night
Let's face it, even in 1974 this might as well have been called "Free Beer Night." For the price of one beer at most ballparks at 2006 prices, you could have had about 70 beers on June 18, 1974 in Cleveland. And from the riot that ensued, it sounds like some fans aimed for that lofty goal.
The action started innocently enough with a plus-sized woman hopping onto the field and revealing her breasts in the on-deck circle.
A couple of innings later, a naked man bolted onto the field and streaked into second base.
As the Stroh's flowed, the fans got rowdier and rowdier and more and more of them made forays onto the field. In the bottom of the ninth, a fan grabbed Rangers right fielder Jeff Burroughs' hat and glove and bolted for the stands. This led Rangers manager Billy Martin to lead his team — armed with bats — into the outfield to take on the fans. When umpire Nestor Chylak got hit by both a chair and a rock and had his head split open, he declared a forfeit, awarding the game to the Rangers despite the fact that the Tribe had rallied to tie in the bottom of the ninth.
"They were just uncontrollable beasts," said Chylak later. "I've never seen anything like it except in a zoo."
The Indians, who had enjoyed an attendance boost to 25,000 from their 8,000 per game average, had no plans to cancel the three remaining 10-Cent Beer Nights, but AL president Lee MacPhail decided that was a bad idea and killed the promotion.
5. Pedro vs. Zimmer
There were so many outrageous elements to the Red Sox-Yankees melee in Game 3 of the 2003 ALCS and somehow they all managed to make Boston look bad.
The Sox lose the series when Pedro repeats his old man dodge by sidestepping Grady Little's attempts to remove him in Game 7.
4. Tyson bites ear
The ass-kicking Evander Holyfield administered to Mike Tyson in their first meeting was something straight out of a comic book: the righteous hero knocking out the evil thug.
Their second meeting was one of the saddest spectacles in boxing history. Aware that he was likely going to receive another vicious beatdown, Iron Mike began chomping on Holyfield's ear cartilage, severing an entire chunk that landed on the canvas.
Ignoring referee Mills Lane's warnings, Tyson continued to chew until he was disqualified. Once destined to be the greatest heavyweight champion of all time, Tyson will instead be remembered as much for his lunacy as his early-career dominance. The outrageous spectacle of him repeatedly biting Holyfield's ears became the defining image of a glorious career gone terribly wrong.
3. Cal-Stanford, "The Play"
This would be one of the most outrageous plays in sports history even if it didn't end atop a trombone player.
The fact that Kevin Moen flattened Stanford band member Gary Tyrell in the end zone takes it from outrageous to surreal. Of course Stanford fans will tell you the most outrageous aspect of the whole damn thing was that the refs missed one Cal runner's knee touching the ground and an obvious forward lateral on the last, desperation flip.
But at least Stanford was spared the cruelest cut. Had Moen been hauled down at the five, the officials were prepared to award the Bears a touchdown on account of the Stanford band's interference. Now that would have been a tough loss.
2. Malice in the Palace
Every time you thought the riot in Auburn Hills had reached its peak, a new, more incredible moment took it to a new level.
It began innocuously enough with a rather pedestrian cheap shot from Ron Artest — a forearm to the back of Ben Wallace's neck, actually quite mild by Artest's standards. Wallace took exception, which was understandable given that the game was out of reach and winding down. A little scuffle ensued, was quickly broken up and Artest stretched out on the media table.
Then came the Beverage Heard Round the World. Remember what happened to those adorable Gremlins when they jumped into the swimming pool? Well, when he was hit with liquid, Artest flew into a rage and charged into the stands, mistakenly attacking the wrong guy (who was still holding his beverage). And, as they say, it was on.
Some highlights:
1. Fan Man
Though his testicles might think otherwise, Riddick Bowe lost only one fight in his pro career. And he probably has James Miller to thank for blemishing his perfect record.
Bowe was leading in the middle fight of his epic three-fight series with Evander Holyfield when Miller, henceforth known as Fan Man, descended onto the ring apron in the seventh round. Miller's parachute got tangled in the ropes and he was pulled into the ringside seats, where he was beaten severely enough to require hospitalization.
During the melee, Holyfield was able to get a much-needed rest, Bowe's pregnant wife fainted (and was taken to the hospital herself) and Bowe's momentum and perfect record were gone.
One of the members of Bowe's posse who administered Miller's beating would distinguish himself again years later, bashing Andrew Golota with his walkie-talkie and sparking a riot in Madison Square Garden.
Kevin Hench is a frequent contributor to FOXSports.com.
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