by FOXSports.com

The US of A could shortly have a new British cultural attach? if Paul Gascoigne's move to DC United goes ahead as planned.

Quite what our friends across the pond will make of Gazza we've no idea, but it's fair to say they'll never have met anyone with quite as much, er, joie de vivre as the legendary midfielder.

Just so Uncle Sam knows exactly what he's letting himself in for, we've compiled a list of our very favourite Gazza moments, of which there are many?

* Interrupted a TV interview with Liverpool-bound former Everton teammate Abel Xavier by repeatedly wailing "Don't go, Abel? please don't leave us" from a changing room window.

* Crashed Middlesbrough's team bus at the club's training ground, causing ?310,000 worth of damage.

* Reportedly set fire to the ITV's World Cup 2002 studio while having a sneaky cigarette in between transmissions.

* On a trip to London, jumped out of his car to demand "a go" on a workman's jackhammer. After getting the go-ahead, happily pounded the pavement to the amusement of shoppers.

* Asked his Dad to bring him a hamper of his favourite food when he visited his son in Italy. Gascoigne Snr brought a large basket full of pasta.

* When told by one Football365 journalist that he was from a website, replied: "Website? What's that then?"

* One hour after playing for England, met showbiz pals Danny Baker and Chris Evans in a Hampstead pub while still wearing his full kit - boots included.

* While conducting a vox pop for ITV during the World Cup, confided on camera to a passing motorist that he was only doing it because he needed the money.

* When asked for his nationality before an operation, told the nurse: "Church Of England."

* Organisers of Italia 90 TV coverage augmented team line-ups with film of each player mouthing his own name. Whenever Gazza's caption appeared, it was clear he was mouthing "F***ing W***er". The BBC used it all the way through the tournament regardless.

* Astounded commuters in London by jumping on a double-decker in London's Piccadilly Circus and asking if he could have a drive. The bus driver said yes, asked if he could drive to Gary Lineker's house.

* Asked by a Norwegian camera crew if he had a message for England's upcoming opponents, immediately responded with, "Yes. F*** off Norway." Then ran off laughing.

* Greeted reporters in Rome by standing up, asking for silence, then farting at ear-splitting volume.

* When asked for a footballing comment while at Lazio, burped enthusiastically into a TV microphone. He was fined ?39,000.

* Sent a rose to the Wimbledon dressing room for Vinnie Jones after the infamous ball-squeezing incident. Got a toilet brush in return.

* When a reporter enquiring as to his fitness asked: "What do you feel like now?", replied: "I feel like a kebab with onions."

* As 'perk' of boot-cleaning duties during his apprenticeship, took Kevin Keegan's Golas home to show his mates. And promptly left them on the Newcastle Underground.

* Forgot to pack his passport for Boro's pre-season tour of Libya and was spotted weeping at the check-in desk until a minion was despatched to fetch it.

* On meeting the president of the Danish FA, claimed he could speak the local lingo. When invited to demonstrate, imitated The Muppet Show's Swedish Chef.

* Paid ?320 for a Mars Bar in a newsagents in his home town of Dunston, then told the shop owner to spend the change on sweets for local kids.

* Spent ?1000 on a state-of-the art robot then programmed it to march into Jimmy Five Bellies' bedroom and announce: "Make a cup of tea, fat man."

* Recorded a video message for a corporate party and signed off with a cheery "Happy Christmas, you f***ing w***ers".

* Whilst dining in the prestigious Bedford Arms Hotel in Woburn, decided to place his member on the shoulder of a diner at the next table. Thinking someone had tapped him on the shoulder, the gentleman turned his head only to have Gazza's helmet prod him in the cheek.

We're sure you'll agree, Britain's loss is most definitely America's gain?