by Andy Nesbitt

Due to personal reasons, this will be the last Ask Andy in the history of the world.

We had a great run the past few months, which couldn't have been done without you, the readers. From men who wanted to skip the birth of their kid or grandchildren because they would miss the Vikings game, to shy young men terrified of the thought of asking a woman out on a date, we had it all. And I think we made a difference along the way.

Ok, maybe we didn't. But most importantly, we had fun. And you can't put a price on that.

Why will this be the last Ask Andy in the history of the world? Well, let me be honest with you. I've made a major life decision. I've decided to truly reach out and make a difference in this wild world.

I'm going to be an instructor at Space Camp in Alabama.

I know it sounds crazy, but I think what they do at Space Camp is important — teach rich kids who will never have the drive to become a real astronaut when they grow up what it takes to be one of the special people who get to travel through space. Ever since I saw the movie Space Camp in 1986 I knew my destiny. Now that the government has asked for my services, there's no way I can say no. I hope you understand.

I'm sorry for this news. But I believe that the children are the future, teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside. Give them a sense of pride to make it easier. Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be.

So, let's get into this final Ask Andy in the history of the world. Please don't cry. Life will go on. We're still friends. Friends to the end, that's what I say.

Andy, recently about 10 of us guys went out for happy hour after work on a Friday. After a couple of pitchers and some food one of the guys suggested we stop by the local strip bar. (keep in mind this is 7 p.m.) Not only that, he decides to pay all of our cover charges and also give us $20 each to tip our naughty dancing friends. All of us were ecstatic and tipped our dancers generously as we sat at the stage. Well, except for one of our coworkers. He kept to himself and sat at a table sipping on his Diet Coke and smoking his menthols. Oh yeah, and he gave us his $20. Now isn't it a Crime Against Manity for a so-called straight male to exclude himself from partaking in this virtually "free" fun w/ the guys? We need to know from the expert so we can continue making fun. — Dru

More girls who won't date you ... Babe of the week NFL cheerleaders NBA cheerleaders

Dru: I'm gonna take a different stance on this, probably one you're not going to like. I think your friend made a courageous move and I applaud it. I've never really seen the point of going to a gentlemen's club. While the sights can be nice, I compare it to forcing a homeless kid to so sit outside a Toys 'R Us for three days in December — you will get to see a lot of things that you will never be able to touch and call your own. So instead of pouring out money at these clubs like it's water coming out of a fat person's shower, I'd rather take the money and go to a bar where you might have the shot of meeting a woman who might actually want to go back to your place that night. Gentlemen's clubs are good for 18-year-old kids and lonely businessmen. If you're in your 20s or 30s, hit the bars and give yourself a chance you'll never get at one of those clubs.

Hey Andy — Love your work, but I have a problem so obviously I need your help. I'm like a lot of your lady readers in that I LOVE sports. My live-in boyfriend and I watch a lot of sports together, Sat-Mon, you name it. The problem is that he loves the EPL and most of the other "football" leagues. He's a Brit which explains this non-sensical obsession but PLEASE! What's a girl to do with a crazy Limey at home who gets up at 6 a.m. on Saturdays to watch a match even though the damn game is on the TiVo list? The season is way too long, how am I to cope? — In love with a Limey

In Love:

Why don't you get up when he does and make him some breakfast? I'm sure he's hungry and would love it. You knew what you were getting into when moved in with a British guy. Now you have to make the best of the situation, and keep him happy. Because that's what all men want to be — happy.

Hey Andy, I was just joking around with my friend one time and I guess that I went to far with them and they are extremely angry and refuse to talk to me. I don't know if I should just leave them alone or if I should continue to try and apologize, what would you do? — Jordan

Jordan:

Unless you pulled a Cosmo Kramer, I would call your buddy five times a day and make fun of him for being so sensitive. Guys like to pick on each other, that's just how we work. There's nothing worse than the sensitive friend who takes things personally. Best friends should be allowed to say awful things about each other and know it's nothing personal. It's just fun. Tell your buddy to grow up and become a man.

I think that was nice advice you gave "Stuck," however I will add my two cents. For about six months I really liked this guy I worked with, but he had a girlfriend. So I hung back and only flirted when it seemed appropriate. Finally, he breaks up with the girlfriend! The next weekend while out with a group I'm thinking I'm going to try to make a move, and sadly learn he is back with the girlfriend. After five minutes of thinking, I decided to screw the girlfriend and let him know I was very interested. The next day he broke up with the girlfriend and we have now been married for two years. So I always say to go for it! — Jacqui

Jacqui:

Interesting choice of words there. Now what happens when another woman comes up to him and tells him that she has feelings for him? You worried about that at all? Karma is a ...

I have been a harsh critic of grown men who wear oversized NFL jerseys for years now. Grown men who wear a jersey with another man's name on it crosses the line. It's the ultimate symbol of dorkiness. Of course, now that I'm 30 and married, I have had an indescribable desire to want one of these jerseys (The Blue Cowboys' Roy Williams or the throwback Chargers' LT to be exact). Anytime one of my family members or friends ask what I want for Christmas, I'm embarrassed to tell them what I really want. I just tell them anything would be nice. So, do you think I should just go ahead, swallow my pride (and dignity), and tell them what I really want? Or should I just keep lying to them and get a bunch of hardware store gift cards? — Ashamed

Ashamed:

Why don't you just ask for a Big Wheel, too? I've always found it hard to respect a grown man who wears a jersey with an athlete's name on the back. Just seems creepy and desperate. Now, the throwbacks can be kind of cool and I might be OK with a grown man wearing one — just as long there is no name on the back of it. I'm glad you're thinking this through. It shows that you aren't careless. I'm proud of you.

Andy, I have been reading your column for a while now, and your Ask Andy is great. However, I have a question: Are you racist? I have noticed in your articles the names are always something like "dave, jay, bob, ben, tyler, seth" all predominately white male names. Not that it bothers me, I have dealt with racism before, but I am just wondering, or maybe minorities just do not read your article? I mean no offense by this. — Just wondering

Just wondering:

Are you for real? I only print the names of people who send in questions.

What impact will Emmitt's big win this week on Dancing with the Stars have on world peace? On dating habits? It seems to me that the men who ask you for advice on how to handle women need to learn how to dance. Women like to dance! Trust me on this ... Emmitt has changed male and female relationships more than Dr. Phil. — Dancing Grandma

Dancing Grandma:

Maybe dancing helped guys woo women back in the 1940s, but things have changed now. All guys have to do these days is just get liquored up and let their sense of humor take over. Sure, every now and then a guy has to get out on the dance floor to seal the deal, but even then all they have to do is just move around a little bit to make it look like they are dancing. I've never heard a girl say "I love that he can dance!" and I doubt I ever will. And don't even get me started about Dr. Phil. That man reminds me of something I sit on every day.

Andy, I met this girl a couple weeks ago at a dog park that I bring my dog to, and was introduced to her by a guy there who isn't interested in girls, if you know what I mean. I have talked to this girl twice and she seems like she might be a little interested but both times when I went to ask her out this guy was there and I didn't want to ask in front of him. Then I saw her profile on Myspace.com and sent her a couple of messages, however she hasn't responded to any of them. She did send me a friend request though so it keeps me guessing. I saw her at the dog park yesterday but she was on the small dog side and left before I could go over and say "hi," but she saw me and didn't say "hi" to me. What should I think, is this girl not interested? — Confused at the dog park

Confused:

So you tracked down her myspace page, sent a few messages and got a friend request from her? Sounds so creepy to me. I think she sent you a friend request just to be polite. Her not replying to your messages or saying "hello" to you at the park are a sure sign that she's not into you. Oh well. There are millions of women out there. Don't let this one bother you. And never try to start a relationship by sending messages to her internet site. Pick up the phone and call her.

Andy, I really look forward to Thursdays and your column. I am a big fan of the sarcasm and blatant advise on everything from drinking to girls. Now I have a question ... I am, what could nicely be called frugal. Actually I am a self proclaimed cheapskate. Now here in lies my problem. My wife and I are setting a limit on our Christmas presents this year and there is only one thing that I want to get. This is the Satellite package that allows me to watch the Syracuse Orange play even while living in Arizona. Now I would count that as $100 and the monthly payment shouldn't count. She says that it counts as $300 dollars since she counts all of the monthly payments. Should I suck it up and raise the limit to $300 or let my cheap side shine through and tell her not to order it. — Torn in AZ

Torn:

You sound like an exciting guy, you really do. I bet you're really spontaneous, too. I know cheap people and have had them as roommates and they just really annoyed me. One time a guy wouldn't chip in $11 a month for cable, even though he had a decent job. $11 is nothing. Why not just spend the extra $200 so you can watch your team? Live a little, man. Live a little.

OK, that's all folks. Forever. We had a good run. Keep your chin up and thanks for the fun. Now go ask somebody else something. Tootles.