Limbaugh's not that different from pro jocks

by Jason Whitlock

Updated: July 7, 2008, 1:44 PM EST

• Overpaid? Absolutely. The remarkably talented radio gabber just received a new contract that will pay him $38 million a year and includes a $100 million signing bonus. It's a $400 million deal that makes Alex Rodriquez feel underpaid.

As Tony Montana said, 'In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.' ( / Special to FOXSports.com)

• Sexually vain? Of course. Limbaugh, 57, is dating a 31-year-old blonde party planner, Kathryn Rogers, who is a treat to admire. At first glance, she could pass for the little sister of Roger Clemens' HGH-enhanced wife.
• Uninterested in formal education? You bet. Limbaugh hated school, was solely interested in radio as a teenager and declared for professional broadcasting after one half-hearted year of college. Yep, Derrick Rose and Michael Beasley are just as educated as the leader of the right-wing moral majority.
• In love with material possessions? Without question. Limbaugh's fleet of Maybachs could serve as a limo service for rap stars vacationing in Florida, Rush's home state. The writer of the Times Magazine profile stated that Limbaugh's Palm Beach estate, which features five different homes, screamed "Look what I have."
• Insecure and starving affirmation? Yes, sir. When the writer brought up Rush's right-wing teammate, Sean Hannity, the heir to Rush's throne, Limbaugh stopped just short of rapping, "How does my a** taste?"
• Resilient? Check. Limbaugh's battle with chemical dependency isn't as heart-wrenching as Josh Hamilton's, but I'd put it on par with Doc Gooden's. And Limbaugh's illegal method of obtaining pain killers could easily be spun into a dope-dealing ghetto tale if Mitch Albom needed another award-winning column.

Don't get it twisted. I'm not some rabid Limbaugh hater. The man is an exquisite broadcaster and entertainer, arguably the best of all time. And I don't view Limbaugh as some sort of flaming bigot or sexist. He's a comedian. No different than Dave Chappelle or Richard Pryor.

Limbaugh's short stint as an NFL broadcaster on ESPN didn't expose him as a racist. His comments about Donovan McNabb exposed Limbaugh as completely overmatched talking sports. He couldn't translate his outspoken, provocative views on race to the sports world.

No, what has always fascinated me about Limbaugh is the way his followers view him — beacon of American virtue and victim.

I wonder how America's Dittoheads perceive, for instance, Barry Bonds, the Rush Limbaugh of baseball. And please, do not focus in on Bonds. He is not the point of this column. I simply used him as an example because of his unmatched talent and the fact that he can't find a baseball job due to a rather large bat-swing conspiracy.

Now, Barry is no beacon of virtue or victim. Neither is Rush.

He's the typical American man who followed his dream, worked extremely hard, caught the right breaks and achieved great fame and financial success. And, just like everyone else, Limbaugh's flaws were accentuated by fame and fortune.

You see, that's what happens to professional athletes (and most celebrities). Like you, they're flawed before they ever make it big. Privilege and money allow them to reveal their inadequacies openly. They chase women who are too young, too easy and too unaccomplished to challenge them intellectually. They shower themselves with bling. They court public affection. And once they're busted, they attempt to conquer the demons that are public-relations nightmares.

I don't have any doubt that ClearChannel, Limbaugh's radio syndicator, fought aggressively before giving its radio star a $400 million contract. Limbaugh surely employs the Scott Boras of radio and counter-punched spiritedly throughout the negotiations.

Unlike professional sports, we were not privy to the contract haggling. We have no idea if Limbaugh took his shirt off and did sit-ups in his driveway. Columnists and radio talk-show hosts did not pontificate on Limbaugh's level of greed. Callers did not flood talk shows complaining that it's ridiculous to pay a broadcaster $400 million.

Rush Limbaugh will never go across the middle and face Ray Lewis. Limbaugh's most difficult opponent is pillowy-soft Al Sharpton. I'd rather confront Shallow Al than Ray Ray.

It infuriates me when I hear someone argue that athletes are overpaid. Compared to what other profession? Teachers? Yes. Entertainers? Hell no.

It also infuriates me when someone states that white men such as Limbaugh and Imus pay a terrible price for discussing race in politically incorrect fashion. What a joke. They're paid handsomely to talk about race in a controversial way.

Limbaugh has more in common with Barry Bonds, Alex Rodriquez, Shaquille O'Neal, Terrell Owens, Dave Chappelle, Al Sharpton and yours truly than he does with his 20 million Dittoheads.