by Mark Kriegel

Comment

If consistency were a virtue, Belichick would be a saint. Unfortunately, he's just a football coach, intent on limiting his public utterances to expressions of disinformation and thinly veiled contempt. Still, how many coaches could stick to the game plan as zealously as Belichick, in a manner that makes Bill Parcells seem like Dr. Phil?

"I don't have a lot of details, medical details," Belichick was heard to mumble at Monday's press conference.

Tom Brady, the best quarterback in football, the face of the New England Patriots franchise, is lost for the season, and Belichick doesn't have the medical details? How great is that?

OK, perhaps my fascination is a tiny bit unwarranted. The rest of the country will refuse to see the commendable aspects of his villainy. For most of you, the perception of Belichick was framed, not with three Super Bowl wins, but from his insistence on cheating by videotape.

In a culture that accepts "gameplanning" as a verb, Belichick was considered a genius. Recall him as the cerebral hero — educated at Andover and Wesleyan — of David Halberstam's The Education of a Coach, published in 2005. Now, having been fined a record $500,000 and outcoached by Tom Coughlin in the Super Bowl, his reputation is, if not in tatters, then certainly frayed. As most fans (not to mention sportswriters) can't figure the point-spread, this is seen as a wonderful development. Nothing incites more glee than the humiliation of smart, smug types.

Belichick would tell you that he doesn't care to rescue his reputation, that he cares only about what's best for the team.

But that's his team's only chance to salvage a season.

Belichick has to be smarter than everyone else, a lot smarter. He has to be a genius again. How else does he win with a quarterback who last started at Chatsworth (Calif.) High School in 1999?

Brady was one completion for three attempts as a pro before replacing an injured Drew Bledsoe. That was 2001; Brady was 24. Matthew Brennan Cassel is 26, with a comparative wealth of experience — 22-for-39, not to mention a lot of snaps while Brady was injured in the preseason. On Sunday, against the Chiefs, Cassel managed to put together a 98-yard touchdown drive. A great start, but it doesn't make him a sure thing. What's more, these Patriots are a lot different than the 2001 vintage, their offense being much more complex.

"You're comparing apples to grapefruits, what our offense is now to what it was in 2001," said Belichick.

Once upon a time, the Patriots were known as a defensive team. As Parcells' defensive coordinator, Belichick was the impresario who had allowed the great Giants linebackers to maximize their talents. He was the guy whose schemes were equal parts art and science, designed to exploit each opponent's physical and psychological vulnerabilities.

But as Brady ascended, the Patriots were transformed. Not only did Brady — much to the coach's relief — become the face of the franchise, the Patriots became an offensive team. Through 18 games, last year's Patriots were the greatest offensive force professional football had ever seen.

"That's in the past," Belichick is fond of saying.

It's a way of avoiding the question. But in this case especially, the past informs the present. The best way to protect a quarterback with no real experience is with a hellacious defense. The fewer points he has to score, the fewer mistakes he'll make.

Belichick needs to take his team back to the future. It won't be easy. He's got a promising rookie in Jerod Mayo. But the rest of his linebackers seem awfully old, not to mention the secondary, which lost three top defensive backs, including Asante Samuel.

That's not my problem, though. I'm not the genius. Belichick is.

On the Mark

You're down nine points with 3:05 remaining, what do you call? Clinton Portis, off-tackle. Again.

So I wonder, who does Jim Zorn's clock management?

Harold, or Kumar?

Guess Seth Rogan wasn't available when Daniel Snyder was hiring. (File / Special to FOXSports.com)

Looks like another great executive decision by Daniel Snyder.

Everybody loves well-rounded athletes with outside interests — except, of course, if they happen to be the Williams sisters.

The Matt Millen Success Story continues ...

Would-be sneaker mogul Stephon Marbury tells the New York Post, "I want to be like the Rockefellers and the Kennedys."

He already is. Guy gets paid for doing nothing.

Not content that Barry Bonds' former personal trainer already did 15 months in federal lockup, the government is now going after Greg Anderson's mother-in-law.

Just another example of your tax dollars at work.

For those keeping score at home, as of Monday afternoon, the Dodgers were 8-0 since Jeff Kent went on the DL.

If there's an Emmy for shamelessness, CBS will win hands down for its blanket coverage on the opening of the CBS sports bar at Gillette Stadium.

Remember all the draft experts talking about Jake Long's mean streak?

All I saw was a holding streak.

Britney Spears' mom blames her daughter's former manager for getting her kid messed up on pills.

And I'm a little surprised that the guy hasn't caught on with a single NFL training staff.

Bill Shaikin of the Los Angeles Times came up with an interesting stat: the Angels' Francisco Rodriguez has recorded 26 saves since June 15. Of those, only five were three-up, three-down.

In other words, someone's about to overpay K-Rod about $3 million per.

I'm thinking of a vice, and it's not the presidency... (File / FOXSports.com)

Wondering if Tina Fey can come out of retirement to play Sarah Palin on "Saturday Night Live."

The Yankees turned down Uncle Junior's offer to sing the national anthem at the Stadium.

What, they got something better to do?

Ex-Kansas teammates Darrell Arthur and Mario Chalmers were caught with women and marijuana in their rooms during the NBA's rookie orientation.

Still, no word whether the league will grant the precocious duo automatic veteran status.

You think Tom Coughlin's face ever recovered from Ice Bowl II?

I go to a bar mitzvah. The DJ is playing that classic, "I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It."

My eight-year-old shoots me a quizzical look.

"Honey," I shrug. "How do you think you got here?"

I'm wondering, though: whatever happened to Hava Nagila?