by Peter Schrager

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Whether it be the late '90s web site that ranked the top 64 supermodels in March Madness form or TheBigLead's annual Culture Tournament, brackets are out there everywhere for everything. Heck, earlier this month, a high school kid from New Jersey was suspended for "organizing a contest in which boys voted on the school's best-looking girls in a bracket modeled on the NCAA basketball tournament." Love ya, New Jersey.

Richard Sandomir and Mark Reiter realized the enormity of "the bracket" a few years back when they published the book "The Englightened Bracketologist." For their second effort, the recently released "The Final Four of Everything", the two have conquered all things brackets ... and then some.

Sandomir and Reiter contacted some of the world's top experts in 150 topics, and broke down some of pop culture's most important and long-standing arguments in bracket form. History's top 32 conservative literary texts? Mary Matalin analyzes them in single-elimination form. The best Boston athletes of all-time? The Boston Globe's Dan Shaughnessy takes on Ted Williams and Bobby Orr. The top 32 board games? "Word Freak" author Stefan Fatsis cracks into it like he's the Joe Lunardi of "Monopoly" and "Risk."

Man has two sanctuaries: The local pub and his throne room. Essentially, this book combines the two. It's got all the arguments you'd have at your favorite watering hole, and quite frankly, it's the perfect read while you "pass the time" on the toilet. Sandomir explains, "When James Carville interviewed me on his XM show, he said virtually the same thing. 'This is a great can book. Your slogan ought to be, 'Buy a book, take a dump.' "

A glowing endorsement from the Ragin' Cajun, indeed.

And just like in the real March Madness, there are your fair share of upsets and Cinderella darlings in these showdowns. "I think the whole notion of having a 'Tooth' bracket is a stunning surprise, but then, it's quite fitting to have a bracket that suits a mouth full of 32 teeth. But don't you think the lower left canine's victory over the right lower canine is a big upset?!" jokes Sandomir.

And yes, a dentist did that bracket — with full explanations behind each and every round (and molar).

"I was surprised that 'Superstrength' was beaten in the first round of the Comic Book Superpowers bracket by 'Superspeed', too," notes Sandomir. "Who wouldn't want 'Superstrength'? But, another one of Superman's powers — 'invulnerability' — actually wins."

The biggest upset, in my eyes, is Jeff Foxworthy's "You might be a redneck" routine beating Richard Pryor's "Black and White Lifestyles." When pressed on it, Sandomir explains, "Yes, that's gotten the most pushback from people. They can't contemplate Pryor, the consummate barrier-breaking comic, losing to Foxworthy. But we hire our experts, who, in this case, was Letterman writer Bill Scheft, and we don't interfere in their choices."

On top of being a bracketologist of the highest order, Sandomir is the sports television columnist for The New York Times. Of the 150 brackets in his and Reiter's latest book, ironically there's nothing on sports television, Sandomir's chief area of expertise.

So we put Sandomir to work and had him write up his thoughts on our list of top eight televised sports moments of the past 50 years. It's now up to you, the readers, to help us decide the biggest and most important.

We seeded 'em, Sandomir wrote 'em up, and now it's up to you to pick the winner. Enjoy it. And if you're on a laptop, feel free to handle your business on your porcelain throne. It'd only be natural.

1 — Bird vs. Magic, 1979, NCAA Tournament

Sandomir's take: "A preview of one of the seminal rivalries in sports; it did more than any broadcast to tell us what March Madness meant. We didn't have anything like it for Wilt vs. Russell or Robertson vs. West."

Vs.

8 — Mark McGwire's 62nd home run, September, 1998
Sandomir's take: "Memorable television for the highly anticipated event, not necessarily for the production."

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4 — UCLA vs. Houston, 1968, "Game of the Century"

Sandomir's take: "The real proof that college basketball could command a national audience in prime time, at a time when few games were broadcast."

Vs.

5 — Muhammad Ali lights the torch at the 1996 Atlanta Summer Games
Sandomir's take: For the complete surprise it offered viewers, to see him shakily do the job, 36 years after he won gold in Rome."

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3 — Miracle on Ice, 1980, USA vs. Soviet Union

Sandomir's take: "A tape-delayed delight that assuaged, for a while, concerns about Soviet power. And it gave us what is arguably the most famous utterance in TV sports: 'Do you believe in miracles? YES!'"

Vs.

6 — Phelps/Lezak, 2008 Summer Olympics, 4 X 100 relay
Sandomir's take: "If Phelps' breaking of Mark Spitz's record of eight gold medals was NBC's main story last summer, and the one it depended upon most for ratings, then Lezak's anchor leg in the 4x100 relay saved NBC's hide."

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2 — Colts vs. Giants, 1958, "The Greatest Game Ever Played"

Sandomir's take: "The game that distilled, for the first time, the dramatic essence of pro football: tough guys, on a torn-up field, playing sudden-death overtime in the gathering darkness."

Vs.

7 — Billie Jean King vs. Bobby Riggs, 1973, "Battle of the Sexes"
Sandomir's take: "A made-for-TV event that turned the match between a feminist and a chauvinist pig into a spectacle, with Howard Cosell the ringmaster."